My boyfriend won’t ever cook and has an issues with me going out with friends.

Please don’t give me cooking tips. how to go about a difficult partner that wants me stuck in the house playing house wife when I’m not even his wife. His excuse is “all I do is work and pay bills” im sorry but being a sahm is also work, I also paused my financial freedom to raise our child which is back firing on me bc he is so abusive.

Can't you work out a plan to leave him? Try to find a place and be on benefits for a while because living with him sounds like a living nightmare, theirs more to life than being stuck in a shitty, controlling relationship

I know being a mom is a lot of work on its own and I don’t know the full situation obviously but if leaving and staying with someone else isn’t an option (family or friend)could you try to gain your own source of income to leave? Like a remote job while he’s at work for example, even part time or look into something like dropshipping. From experience men like that only get worse the more time that goes on, he just sounds like a narcissist.. You’re absolutely not his mother and like you said this isn’t the 1950s he’s a grown man he can cook himself a singular meal for one but you also deserve to have freedom and not feel controlled.

You should leave him. It's better to have parents not together than parents that shouldn't be together. Could you maybe ask him for a girl's day once a month? The fact he isn't willing to let you have one meal off a week is baffling....

He definitely takes you for granted expecting you to do everything for him. Narcissistic mama’s boy

he does order food once a week and I order food once as well so those are my 2 days off from cooking but I want him to show me that he can be supportive and be happy that I’m having a girls day and be grown and make himself his own food that day.

He won't be happy, and men like that don't change, it's instilled in him, he's controlling. My sister has had a couple guys like this and they don't change they're horrible, luckily she didn't have any children with these men but now at the age of 33 she's found her happy ending, she's with a great guy and they're expecting their first child together. My partner works (I'm on maternity leave at the minute) we have 2 children, he cooks, cleans, does the food shop takes care of the kids and I go out with friends when I like, it's how it should be

I don't think there's much you can do to make somebody respect you, only thing you can do is leave and find something better for yourself. My partner does 95% of the cooking despite being the one who works most. I'm a SAHM for the most part but have a cleaning job for a couple hours after he gets home from work so he has our child and cooks dinner (although he always cooked dinner before I started that job too). He goes out with his friends a few nights a month and I cook dinner. It's no problem to me because he deserves time with his friends. I don't choose to take the same, but he takes our child on the weekend a few times a month and leaves me home alone so I can have the house to myself and have some downtime.

The source of this kind of behaviour is usually an inability to see someone else as a person with needs and feelings just like yours, and nothing but years of therapy and wanting help to do better is really going to fix it.

Where do yall find these men 🤦🏽‍♀️

He gets days of from work but you can’t even get one night off of cooking!? Fuck him, he is a grown ass man who can make his own damn food!

I wonder the same thing lol

I go out every Friday. If I don’t have to do my hair or nails or lashes beforehand and I wanna cook, and i feel like it- I cook. If it’s the week I have i do all that and I can’t be bothered cooking or don’t have time before I jump in the shower at 5 to get ready to leave at 6.30, I don’t. He doesn’t care, great if I can cook but not the end of the world, and he doesn’t get salty and doesn’t make me feel guilty if I don’t. He doesn’t care that I’m going out and he doesn’t care that I can’t cook before I go out. He’ll cook or order and make sure the kids are fed too. He knows I need my breaks and he gives me grace. That’s how it should be. Your man is making you feel like you HAVE to cook but he’s also making you feel guilty for going out and seeing your friends, he’s either jealous or insecure or just damn right controlling or wants to isolate you from your friends because what normal man kicks up a stink that his wife is seeing friends? Seeing friends is such a normal thing to do.

Respectfully I'd very quickly divorce my husband if he ever treated me like that. I do what I want, he cooks, he cleans, we take turns having a life outside being parents. YA BYE lol to your grown man child husband sorry lol

In all honesty my man loves a home cooked meal but I usually don't mind because he doesn't prefer takeout and I get it plus not the healthiest either and he could be saying he needs a break or feels burnt out my man usually will tell me and get irritated if he's doing too much or worked hard and it's understandable but then again I really don't mind staying home but I know not everyone is the same or feels the same as me but I'm hoping this all works out for you best wishes

I think I’m confused. 🤔

You said you have 2 days off from cooking but want him to show me that he can be supportive and be happy that you're having a girls day and be grown and make himself his own food that day. Can ur girls day be one of the already days off you have? I'm sure if you don't cook he won't starve himself and ur kid. One day a week to have a girl's day sounds too much after not doing it in 3 years, I'd try to start slowly incorporating them again. Does he get a boys day? Maybe he's jealous?

yes hes jealous, just not happy to see me have a life outside of mom and wife role.

I have 2 days off from cooking but that’s bc I fought for that. And he doesn’t want to cook any of those days or ever so we have to order food. Fine.
But let’s say I’m going out on a random day that I usually cook, I would like to be able to say to him “im not cooking today” and he just be able to figure it out on his own instead of getting angry and making me feel bad. Saying things like “u could have at least ordered some food for me”

Yeah I could have but that’s not the point. the point is that I want to see u be a grown man and not be like my second child that I have to feed for once