How do you feel about men working in childcare?

At my daughters nursery the deputy manager/preschool room leader is male and he's amazing at what he does.

I wouldn't second guess him changing my daughter.

I don’t understand the problem. Are child caregivers or care takers only supposed to be a job for women. This is like some1 having a problem with female police officers or fire fighters or some1 having a problem with a male obgyn or gynecologist etc. I know that some ppl are not “comfortable” with the idea of this bt the reality is they aren’t going to discriminate on hiring some1 based on gender, sex or age. I’m sure that 50 yr old man is qualified for his job & that’s why they hired him, and aim sure he definitely has had to defend himself in his career from ppl who do judge him cuz he is always in the minority. Bt honestly don’t see any problem in men working in childcare even if majority of the ppl working in that field is dominated by women cuz men can be child care takers too.

Nor has it stopped many women 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄
Honestly a ridiculous argument.

I’ve worked in childcare amongst many men and women and BOTH have been equally great and awful. It’s about the PERSON not the gender

I understand what these girls are saying but I actually am with you on this. It would make me feel weird too.. I’d also say that it’s okay to feel like that too. I’m sure he is a fab nursery nurse but it’s okay to be hesitant! Spend some time in the nursery with him and I’m sure you’ll be reassured x

I worked in childcare and schools for a number of years and worked with a handful of men. They were always amazing, gentle and caring. One of the best assistants I had was a man and the children absolutely loved him. I think that there's something really nice that men can bring to a children's environment that's usually female dominated. But I also totally understand that some parents may not feel super comfortable with it...but I guess we just have to remember that both men and women can do bad things and judge people based on their character x

From working in the industry it really upsets me when someone is judgmental towards a man working with young children, it’s actually such a positive role model for the child to have both genders. Safer recruitment when employing is one of the regulations, DBS, references etc and same as the whistleblowing policy which is in light of Vanessa George who was taking intimate photos of young children and sending them to a peadofile ring and none of the staff whistle blew their concerns because she had “authority”

Same as i feel about any woman. As long as theyre safe, it doesnt matter.

So similar but opposite thing actually happened with us.
A younger man was hired at my sons daycare and at first, I was questioning what a young man would want to be doing working at a daycare with a bunch of crying, screaming kiddos? But then I realized that my son gravitated toward him. It turned out to actually be nice to have a man in the room for my son because they seemed to be into playing the same way and to be fair, my son spends most of his days around women, me and my mom-friends, so he misses his dad and maybe he was craving that male bonding? I dont know, but I do know that the male caregiver ended up being our favorite guy. So give him a chance, but trust your gut.

I mean....it sucks but like most child sexual abuse is committed by males. And if you want to abuse a child you're going to stick yourself in a position working with children.
Like is he probably fine, yeah most likely. But I definitely understand your caution

I think that us moms are always vigilant to change, biologically must be some instinct to protect our young, so if your used to seeing all women staff and a male is hired, your probably feeling apprehensive at first. I think its normal to feel that way.

Honestly I would not feel comfortable either. I dont send my kids to nursery anyway because I dont trust any outsider with my kids , let alone change their diaper, especially a man who isnt my husband. Nope!

My son went to a childminders that was a husband and wife couple in their 40s. They were both amazing and I never gave the thought that one of them was a man a second chance. He was so positive and caring and the kids all adored him. I’m a single mum so it was also good for my son to have a male role model. And as others have said, all people who work with kids go through the same background checks, regardless of gender, so they’re all as safe as each other. And recent court cases have shown that women do abuse children in childcare too, so there’s no reason to assume that a woman is instantly safer.

If they are in the nursery then they have had checks. But in many nursery’s there is a policy to say there always a witness when someone is changing a nappy. In my nursery we have to sign our names whenever nappy is changed. Maybe you can check that is happening for some reassurance?

Women are just as likely to be a pedophile/s** predator as any man out there. Some old women actually creep me out more than any old guys thus far. They somehow think they can touch my toddlers just because they appeared to be a vulnerable old woman. Like, no. I’ve yet to run into any old men that just think they can just pat my daughter’s head,or hold their hands without asking! A few even want to carry them, and give them kisses. Most old men have more boundaries than old women, it seems.

And in the UK, you would need to have a criminal checks plus an actual childcare/child minder qualifications that have to have been completed fairly recently. You can make requests to the nursery if you feel uncomfortable having him changing your child’s nappy. But let the man works lol

I’ve run a nursery previously and we’ve employed men. One was bloody awesome and one was not. There have also been plenty of women who weren’t great too.

But I actually also didn’t like the idea of a guy changing my daughter either, my husband especially didn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🫣

Before my daughter I would’ve been like “ehhh I don’t like it” but my daughter’s favorite caretaker is male and when he left she couldn’t adjust to anyone else- we have find a new place 😅

Agreed with those who mentioned 2 ppl present for diaper changes 👍🏾

Daycare teqcher here! Ive only ever worked with 2 men in my career but they are the most chill and peaceful and respectful men in my life. Plus daycare teachers do a very good job policing eachother.

From having history with abuse or being taken advantage of I can understand being cautious, im sure it’s okay to ask for and communicate your preferences regarding your child. I’ve heard of people doing this, don’t be forced into something you’re not comfortable with. Emphasis on you, not everyone has the same worries or histories, even if they do and don’t share the same thoughts it’s you and your child they don’t have to do the same thing or think the same

at my son's school, the male workers aren't allowed to change the children because of issues parents had with this. i feel like it's an inconvenience because the brunt of the work ends up falling on the female teachers when the children have accidents and the flow of the classroom gets thrown off more often than necessary that way

We have one male at our nursery who everyone says is great and they’ve recently taken on a trainee. The qualified one isn’t in my daughter’s room, but she will be moving into that room soon, and everyone says he is fantastic (and he seems to be one of the most popular carers with the kids). My initial reaction was similar to yours but I’d say get to know them and give them a go as they might be really good at it!

Women do the same thing men have. It’s just not talked about it or complained about it as much. He had to pass checks and he’s probably a dad and grandfather. I think it’s great and we should see more men doing things like this. It doesn’t always have to be women but if I didn’t trust him I probably wouldn’t be trusting all the women either. They can do the same things it’s not just men.

I don’t mind one bit. All my work experience is in childcare and I’ve noticed that the very few men I’ve worked alongside are way more attentive and interactive with the kids. They also seem to be able to calm the kids easier than some of their female colleagues. Besides childcare workers go through rigorous background checks, fingerprintings, CPR/AED certifications, and even some ECE credits.

I wouldn’t mind one bit. Like others have said they go through rigorous checks before they are employed. Plus how is it different from a woman changing a boy or girls nappy? Also, I don’t think we should put all men in the same category as the few out there who are bad people.

For my daughter I won’t mind a female child minder but if it’s a man I would mind.

I work with men within my nursery and the kids absolutely love it!! I think it’s unfair to judge because he’s a man regardless of his age because if this was the other way round would you be making these comments. Probably not!

I don't think he can change diapers. I know at my church the men cant change them.

It's our unconscious bias kicking in. In society we (especially women) are used to regarding men with a certain caution whether we realise it or not.
As a parent we are programmed to detect risks and as women we sometimes see men as risks 🤔 that's my view on it.
Having said this, when we use our rational brain and think about it then what makes this man any different to someone else in the nursery? Is he any more or less likely to behave inappropriately? We can't judge a book by its cover. We also can't judge or discriminate against someone over a protected characteristic, which gender is.
My son's nursery has several male staff, the dep manager is male and quite frankly I love him, he is so friendly and all the kids just swarm him 😂

I think it's really nice to have male presence in these sorts of environments too as it's good for them to have a strong male role model! I'm not saying they don't have that at home but the more the merrier!

Yes two men in my sons and he loves them

Id love for a male to he working in my little boys nursery!

And what’s the issue?

I find it very annoying that women take this perspective but opt for heterosexual relationships. A dad changes a nappy too, does that give you the 'creeps'.

I applaud men who enter into these woman dominated fields, men are massively under represented in the childcare field. It is so beneficial for children to experience this especially boys, I worked within early years for 10years and only encountered one male enter the field and for children who looked like him they felt seen because representation does matter.

Before I go all dark abuse in nurseries exist yes sexual too and there are many cases of this which have made headline, by female perpetrators.

I agree

For me and mine? No.

I have been SAd by both men and women but almost all of the sexual violence I endured was by men. It's not all men but I do feel that it is most of them.

If there's a male caring for the children then its possible that there will be times he has to take my little one to the bathroom, alone...and have to clean her and dress her. That's an absolute no for me.

If i were straight then the male caring for her would be her dad. I would know him on a very personal level and be able to build trust that he could bathe her and change her, be left alone with her, etc. But even then I also know its not 100%. But there would be trust that was established that would not be there if I signed her up for a daycare where men are care takers.

For anyone who is saying they're as likely to sexually abuse as women are that's not true

From childsafety.gov:

"reports to the Royal Commission by victims and survivors revealed that 93.9% of institutional child sexual abuse was perpetrated by an adult man."

1 man in my daughter's nursery. At the beginning was strange for me but now.. It is fine, he is fine😊

Do you allow baby's dad, grandad ect to change nappies? Personally i think its great if their is a male in the nursery

I’m the nursery director at our church and I would LOVE to have more men working in our nursery, some of the kids just respond better to men and having more male influences even at that young of an age (newborn to kindergarten) it always great. Some of these kids don’t have that at home so having even one at somewhere like daycare can make a huge difference

My boyfriend actually just started working in childcare so we could get a discount for our 6 week old daughter. I think it’s okay. It’s just like, any woman could be a predator just like a man can 🤷🏽‍♀️ it just depends on the employee, honestly

Kids seem to love having a male teacher as my son told me at his Tim is much more fun. Both men and woman can be predators a 19 year old girl was just up in court for abusing nursery kids in uk infact there has been more female abusers in a nursery than male recently.

I would not be comfortable with it. Men are far, far more likely to abuse. You have every right to be uncomfortable. Some daycare centres are actually stopping male workers from changing nappies to lower risk. Please trust your gut and speak out if you aren't happy.

same for female workers though. They all go through the same checks 🤦🏻‍♀️
Women can be just as sinister as men. In fact, women get away with it easier because they are less likely to be scrutinised because they are women.

do you have a reputable source for this stat? Because the link provided above (not by yourself) does not work

Our nursery hired a man too
And a lot of parents are not comfortable with it too
Did you bring up with the nursery ?

I disagree with most of you on here, a man working in childcare is no different to a woman, both are capable of doing things!!

No, my point is that there are female s*x predators as well, not whether there are more or less of them - my point is that they exist too, and often they are overlooked, simply because they’re females. There could be more, but we’d never know as it is not as obvious. Statistics don’t mean anything. The probability may be greater for you to have encounter a male pedophile, but the probability of encountering a female pedophile exists too - no matter how much lower of the chances. I’m not saying they don’t exist, it’s just that you can’t use statistics to judge the whole crowd of old men. The good and compassionate ones do exist too.

The UK is more vigilant in comparison to the US in terms of who are allowed to work in a nursery, and school. As I’ve said in my comment, everyone has to get their criminal background checks, and many other checks. If they failed it, they won’t be allowed anywhere near a school. Plus they need a PGCE, and a very specific one at that as well.

Because I understand how statistics works. To use statistics in any argument, you need to look at the context and how the data collected are relevant to your argument, is it a data from only a certain country, or globally - and the two can be very different based on actual criminal activity within certain regions and the world. And besides, no one has any rights to judge others negatively based on statistics, and that would be an act of discrimination. It is true that the number of male predators is higher than females, but you can’t go round assuming the worst of people. It’s same situations with everything else I.e. the wrong beliefs of black people have higher tendency to be criminals - and it leads to indiscriminate racism.

The UK required you to have enhanced DBS checks, specifically for people who have to, or want to work with young children. The checks need to be done every 2 years, if you don’t renew it, you would no longer be eligible to work with children.

Since somebody deleted our thread where I shared vital statistics about CSA, here is that information again - for those dismissing that men are far more likely to cause abuse.

According to CSA Centre's  (csacentre.org.uk) report CSA in 2022/23: Trends in Official Data, section 4.3.3 Characteristics of defendants: sex, it states "In 2022, 99 female defendants were proceeded against for CSA offences, representing just 1% of the 7,848 defendants whose sex was recorded."

There is also a study (Child sexual abuse in preschool age: Victims, perpetrators and familial risk factors by Fadime Yüksel a, Nilüfer Koçtürk 
accessed via sciencedirect.com) which found that "Of the [CSA] perpetrators, 4.2% (n = 7) were female, two of whom helped the male perpetrator for CSA".

Therefore, if somebody has conducted a risk analysis to protect their child, avoiding males in daycare/nursery (particularly while child is largely non verbal) makes logical sense, as it would lower the chances significantly.

There’s a man at the nursery I work at/ where my daughter attends. No issues with it.

there are still enhanced check’s done on anyone who wants to work with children. Men AND women could have sinister thoughts. It’s not just men and it’s wrong to judge someone based on the fact that they are a man. It’s my opinion which I’m entitled to. Not saying everyone has to agree with it. I’d like to think that if my son decided when he’s older to work in a nursery that he wouldn’t get treated differently just because he’s a man.