So tomorrow is my husband’s birthday and I really don’t feel like celebrating it.

He never helps me with the baby or the house chores. I have to ask him or remind him to help me with the bare minimum all the time and I’m so exhausted all the time. The mental load I carry is so much lately…The past few days he all a sudden started to help out.. I wonder why 😒…
I’m feeling extra resentful ever since cause I know he’s only doing it so that he gets spoiled on he’s bday…

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I’m sorry to say but he doesn’t deserve to be celebrated.

Then don’t do anything for him act like you forgot if your mental load isn’t important to him then his birthday isn’t important to you. Tell him you’ve had too much on your mind and forgot it was his birthday

GIRRRLLLL. Felt. I still celebrated his bday only because he wanted to take Marisol to a splash pad for his bday 💀 don’t cave in, as a father and a husband he should be taking the initiative to help you and take care of you.

When I didn’t want to celebrate my boyfriend’s birthday, I was not pushing myself. I didn’t buy anything for him because it’s not an obligation. I just didn’t feel like buying something, but I still said happy birthday and asked what he was going to do.

Tell him to go out with his friends and enjoy himself and you’ve been too busy with the kids to plan anything. You’re already doing it on your own, let him learn he’s not the baby anymore.

i agree with on the minimal effort. just reflect his own energy back onto him and he has no reason to be upset since technically you did do something. he all of a sudden is helping out it seems like he lacks accountability if he thinks that a few days of helping will make you so grateful you celebrate him all perfectly on his bday. he already knows he doesn't deserve it or else he wouldn't be switching up days before. if he gives you a hard time don't be afraid to ruin his bday with an honest convo.

It probably depends on how much you do for each others birthdays before the baby. I would give him, his two days. One his birthday and the other father's day. The rest of the time treat it like any other day.

in our community

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Is this normal?

Is it just my husband that does this? He is able to work from home via his computer and in the mornings and evenings he is on there doing his job. When he is done for the day he tends to stay in the room and either play video games or watch something. He will occasionally come out and play with the girls for a few minutes and that’s it but when I really need him he says he is busy. My daughters are both 1 year old now and I am just wondering how much involvement should he have with them now?
Idk if this is the norm or not…..

Saying NO to buying toys etc

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Identity crisis?

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Daycare?

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Thoughts?

your soon to be brother in law (upon inquiry) told you that only a few kids from the family were attending his wedding because they are over the age cut off..