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Vent About Your Husband/Boyfriend Issues

My fiancé keeps lying about vaping even after we’ve talked about it multiple times. I just found out again after snooping, and I don’t know how to handle it.

This issue has been going on since July, and I’m honestly at a loss about what to do next.

It started when I saw my fiancé on our home cameras and asked if he was hiding something from me. At first, he said no, but then admitted he’d been vaping “now and then.” I told him how that made me feel, not about the vape itself, but about the fact that he chose to hide it instead of just being honest.

A while later, I caught him red handed trying to hide a vape behind his back and then putting it in a drawer. I confronted him again, explained how hurt I was, and how it made me feel silly pretending I didn’t know what he was doing.

Now, months later, I found out he’s still hiding it, this time because I went snooping in his work bag. I’m embarrassed to admit that, but if I hadn’t looked, I’d still be completely in the dark.

At first, it wasn’t the vaping that upset me. It was the lying, the sneaking around, and the lack of honesty. But now it’s both. I quit vaping when I got pregnant, and he said he did too and I believed him. I’ve spent months thinking he’d quit, being proud of him, only to find out it wasn’t true.

He knows exactly how I feel. I’ve spoken to him twice about it and told him it damages my trust every time he lies. He’s fully aware that continuing to hide it would throw my trust off completely, but he’s still doing it.

I’m supposed to be marrying this man, but I’m struggling with how to move forward when he keeps something so simple from me and seems okay with lying about it. If he can lie about this, what else could he lie about?

I also don’t know how to admit I snooped without making things worse, but at the same time, I feel like if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t know the truth.

How do I approach this? How do I get him to stop lying about it and actually take this seriously?