Toddler rejecting Dad and effecting dynamics of family

It seems like sibling jealousy to me. Try arranging some one-on-one time with her and shower her with attention. I think this might help.

My 2.5 girl doesn't let me sit next to her when daddy reads her books before bed. Pushes me off the couch. I respect her little choice and get off the couch, and I say ok, Daddy, time. I also know it's a phase, and it will go away. Did it just recently start for you guys? Maybe hugging Daddy more around her would show her he's lovable. Try different things. If nothing works, observe it. But don't have hurt or negative feelings because kids can feel that and will react to your energy.

When I happily show interest in whatever they do but don't get too close, then she eventually let's me get closer.

It likely has nothing to do with dad and everything to do with the baby/seeking more of your attention.
Do you mind if I ask if you are nursing? (If yes, reading her a story or singing nursery rhymes with her cuddled up next to you, is a great way for the three of you to bond, and include her in some cuddles with you and baby boy.

The more you include her in baby boy's care, the less she will feel like his care is taking something from her. Especially, because if you can nurture HER bond with the baby, she won't emotionally see him as a threat, because she will want him to be near as well (think new puppy vibes, and by that I mean, emphasize that he is a positive addition to the family), "oh he's so cute!" Do you want to try and feed him a bite off the spoon? Uh oh he spit up, can my big helper hand me the clothe? He needs a new onesie, you choose which one *set out a few options*, and then praise her involvement how gentle she pet his head, what a great color she chose for the onesie, how patient she was with the spoon, etc.

You may also think about taking an hour on the weekend that dad can take care of baby boy, and you and her can do something just you two. A big girl activity that baby can't do. Like finger painting, or play doh, or something else you can give her lots of attentive one on one time. Followed by a bubble bath, putting lotion on her, taking extra time combing her hair, and cuddle up for an episode of her favorite show, or a movie with her favorite snack afterwards. Just things that give her a lot of physical affection/closeness, and your direct focus.

I have a 3 year old boy and a 9 month old girl we had similar problems in the beginning but it’s gotten better!

1.We have specific mom and toddler days no baby invited
2. He has special “table toys” in a cabinet that are just for when I’m busy with baby so they stay fun we do magnatiles and play doh and dinosaurs for play doh
3. We alternate who does bedtime
4. Dad has made up some fun games that I say I don’t know how to play so dad stays fun!

It will get better you just have to find the routine that works for your family! Good luck 💕

It does pass. My little ones both went through phases of daddy hate. He’s first doing it really upset him but the littlest he don’t care one bit. We all mime “I just want mummy.” When he asks her is she ok coz it’s her catch phrase. 😂

Extra love and attention. And a set time 1:1 for each child. X

Read her some big sibling books.📚 Up until now she has mostly experienced the parent-child relationship and now, from her perspective, there's this new person getting in the way! All the time! If you give her a role and an identity around being a big sister, she will see how she fits into the family now that it has expanded to include her brother. I like "How to Welcome a New Baby" (J Reagan) because it goes through the full first year, but there are tons of books about being a big sibling for just this reason. It is normal to feel frustrated, but don't get discouraged. Try to keep your routines consistent and things with dad will level out as he is able to take on a bigger role with your son's care. Don't expect to have the same bond with your son as you do with your daugther. Let it develop naturally between the two of you. gl🍀

Every baby is different, so please forgive and forget if this doesnt feel right to you...
My boys will be 4 in Jan and 2 in Feb (2 years apart) and they do have their struggles
But one thing I have noticed that helps is asking my older kid for advice or translation for the baby

For instance... "what do YOU think he's asking for?" Or "what do YOU think he's saying?"

My oldest loves to feel like he's helping or protecting us from something
Maybe think of ways to make them a team 🥹

My daughter went through this at a similar age but with me. She just wanted dad to do everything and I was pushed out. She’s now 4 and it’s the other way around.. I think it’s normal unfortunately. Add in the new sibling to your situation too.. Must be very hard for you with a little one too x

I only have my daughter and she’s exactly the same. It’s draining and obviously not very fun for my husband. Can’t say it’s fun for me either. Hope it passes x