Episiotomy mums….

I’m 7 months PP I’ve hardly had sex with my
Partner for many reasons (the main reason being that I co sleep with baby currently so we sleep separately) and baby contact naps during the day so it’s hers to find time together to naturally have it…. However we were experimenting this evening abit and being touched down there brought back a wave of sadness and trauma from the birth and the recovery after the episiotomy…. I feel when I am being touched it brings me back to getting it snipped at the birth then follows on to the pain of recovery after? Did anyone else experience this? maybe I have left having sex way to long which hasn’t helped also but the feeling of fear it brought back to me this evening was horrible and I don’t want that to keep happening…. I certainly don’t want to bring a wedge between my partner and I when we do try and get close any tips would be great x

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Take things super slow. I’m 2.5 years post partum and still remember those feelings of not wanting to be touched and remembering the trauma of birth and having the episiotomy. I still feel nervous about touching more towards the episiotomy site as I don’t think it healed properly so it’s quite sensitive. As I say, take things super slow and this may sound weird but have you tried touching or massaging yourself, to kind of test out what hurts, what’s sensitive and what feels ok? Once you know yourself, you can direct your partner to the right areas and away from others if that makes sense.

My episiotomy was unwanted but necessary, and I'm sure I'll live with the traumatic memory of the sensation for the rest of my life. I don't blame you for not wanting to remember it or be touched there.
Healing both physically and mentally takes time and effort. Talk to your partner and make sure you're both on the same page with how you feel, and don't be afraid to take it slow. Sex is nice but not mandatory or necessary to keep your relationship healthy. Love can be expressed in plenty of ways. You got this 🫶

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