FTM worried about lack of sleep and mental health

make sure you have a decent nap during day, get the dad to take baby for a walk or similar
Go to bed when baby does

I hope this is okay to be this honest, I just wish someone had done the same with me. The newborn trenches as they’re known were the hardest thing I have ever done, you will be so sleep deprived you will fall asleep at anytime anywhere! I fell asleep holding my baby I was so exhausted. Mentally I really struggled, it is a huge shift in your life and it is really really difficult to manage. BUT you will get through it, the first few weeks and months are the hardest but then there will be this shift where everything gets easier and feels more manageable. I would just prepare as best you can that it will suck but know it gets better!
Sleep whenever the baby sleeps, ignore the house chores and take ALL the help. Someone offers to come over and clean the kitchen? Take it! Any offers of help take them all. Get out for walks when you can, I went for a walk everyday and it made the biggest difference!
Reach out if you’re struggling, the health visitors and GP helped me hugely! Xx

I formula feed so my partner does the midnight feed for me so I sleep from 9-10am to 3-4am then back to sleep until my other son wakes at 6:30 so I get a good amount of sleep. X

Ooh I definitely struggled (and still sometimes do with my 14 month old) with this.
The best advice I can give you is to ask for help / take help when it is offered. For me — the whole “nap when baby naps” comment is counterproductive in my mind and just made me feel bad that I could never actually nap while he napped. I cannot nap while he naps so instead I rest. I lay down on the couch or my bed and just clock out from everything else.

Another thing I would suggest is to get out of the house. No matter how tired I feel or not, getting out of the house (alone) or with baby helps my mood tremendously and gives me enough good feelings to get me through the day!

I was really worried about this too - I had my (second) baby in August and lack of sleep is a huge trigger for me with my mental health. I found in the newborn stage my baby seemed to settle back to sleep very easily after nighttime feeds which helped, and the medication I have to take at night also helps with my sleep so I was able to drift off again myself. Grab cat naps when you can during the day. I’ve now got used to broken sleep but over the course of 24 hours it does all add up. Good luck ❤️

Cosleeping. Read up on it now, educate yourself now, so if you’re unable to settle baby other than on you on beside you, you’re familiar with how to do it safely!
Happy cosleeper and cosleepy on instagram are both great accounts full of resources and info!

My husband and I took care of baby in shifts to make sure we both got good sleep. We would do like a 3-4 hour shift and switch off. Sleep was a little broken but it allows the other person to get rest without interruption.

the hormones will help keep you awake and in survival mode, so you have that in your favor.
but i would say if you can, have someone other than your partner (they’re also tired) helping you - like your mom, sister, or whoever can come to your house and help in that first weeks right after leaving the hospital (i regret so much not doing it). You can feed, give them the baby and fall asleep for a little bit until the next nap. In the first month you’re so tired that naps aren’t a problem (i’m not a napper, but naps worked great for me).
having a bassinet right next to your bed helps a lot and baby doesn’t need to be in your bed on those first months when they’re so fragile.
go to bed when baby does!!!

Honestly I am not a person who does well on broken or little sleep...but hormones change you. I was tired and my baby only slept for 2 hour chunks for the first 4 months but you just manage it? Like yes its hard but your body is made for it. I actually find it harder now that shes older and im used to a full night's sleep when she has a bad night or is sick and I get broken or very little sleep.

My husband and I did shifts...I would feed at 9pm...go to bed til 12...pump so my husband would have a bottle for her...go back to bed til 3. Then do 3-7. My husband would sleep like 1-7 and then take her for 2 hours so I could get another chunk of sleep.

EBF means it is all on you. Power to you if you can do it but it means theres no overnight support.

The newborn phase was our easiest time - I don’t want to be increasing your fear but the sleep deprivation only got worse as my son got older (he stopped napping before 2m) & never didn’t contact nap, even at almost a yr 98% of the time he will only feed to sleep & doesn’t stay asleep for more than ten or some minutes if he does unless he’s in carrier with me then it might be 30ish … I haven’t slept more than 4hrs in 24 (& an insane amount of days in a row with just none at all I’m constantly passing out from exaustion & have always had a lot of trouble if I don’t get more sleep than the average person needs.. this year has been absolute hell in a lot of ways but we still survived. You can always change your mind if it gets to be too much. During the newborn time it was jsut waking up multiple times a night to feed but pp you are peeing out a ton & similar to late pregnancy probably have to get up to pee often in the night still - it’s really not that bad even if you have a horrible

Ya i second the sleep whenever you can thing, but this isnt always possible, sometimes you're wired, and thats perfectly normal.
Taking a lie-down on the couch is not to be underestimated! It really does revitalise your energy, your body appreciates just laying laterally and resting like this whenever you can, so do sit/lay when you can. Having a safe place to be with baby when breastfeeding where you can fall asleep and they will be safe if this happened... other stressors like anyone sapping your attention/energy/thinking power, that is not theirs at this time, if your partner is like this make sure he knows to get his support from his friends too and not to rely on you during this time for whatever shit so you're not someone elses 'mama' too. you will get through it, you are built of strength and resilience! 🧡

Time adjusting it’s only a couple of months & you will adjust. In terms of suggestions - prepare your husband or whoever is going to be supporting you for whatever you are most fearful about in terms of the effect on you. Making several plans about what to do if it gets really bad before hand will really help your anxiety now & likely make things easier then as well. I also really recommend cosleeping - esp as you are wanting to ebf it will help with your supply & establishing a good rhythm with your baby as well as making it possible to sleep more (after a few months my son was able to find my boobs & latch himself & on nights he wasn’t teething we had a much easier time . Good luck , you can do it 🥰 try not to let your fear overwhelm you but look at it objectively as a guide in terms of preparation

Read the book 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks. Its sleep training based on a feeding schedule. It was a miracle worker for me.