Advice for how dads can manage clingy babies?

My little boy is 3 months and exclusively breastfed. I used to have enough to pump so my partner could feed but its been rough recently. From the start hes found it difficult to settle baby, he will just get cried at for a good hour then sometimes baby cries himself out n sometimes i give in. I know babys going to be clingy while he feeds off me and i know its going to be difficult for my partner, i prepared him as well as i could but hes not taking it well now. He now doesn't bother trying to get baby to settle as he 'sees no point' and 'hes just going to cry anyway' i have reassured him as much as i can and levelled with him about how it is shitty but its not forever. But im just being left to deal with baby most of the time because hes kinda feeling sorry for himself. Any advice on what i can do here

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Right now anytime i get a 'break' from baby to do stuff with my toddler or just have a shower baby is just screaming, his dad will just sit there with him n not move atall n just moan that it always happens

He just has to persevere. My husband told me to get out of the house or put headphones on if our daughter was screaming for me, he needed to learn his own ways to settle her and she was safe with him even if she was upset so I had to leave them to work it out. This isn't just because of breastfeeding, lots of babies prefer the comfort of their mum over their dad, it's really normal. My daughter had a difficult start in the NICU, obviously hated being separated from me and did not want to let me go. That lasted a long time. My husband was so dedicated and patient and loving he knows that babies/toddlers aren't rational beings so even though it hurt his feelings sometimes he knew he would get there, and she absolutely adores him now.

If you are the primary care giver, baby will also develop the sense of attachment to you first. Btw, it’s completely normal. Abnormal
would be for someone to spend so much time with the baby and be unable to develop as their first safe space.

Forgive me for being direct but dad needs to remember that he is the responsible adult here having a child, not the other way around. The child hasn’t asked to be brought into the world for the dad now to think like that. I am sorry, but I have zero empathy for dad’s behaviour and thinking. I am concerned for the baby bring left to cry it out, and for you.

Secondly, you could try to leave them together first when baby isn’t crying to play for example or to change baby for the bed time, but it all starts with dad’s attitude towards making an effort to work on their bond. Ideally when baby is fine and not crying and building from there. yes , stay out of the room or even home if it allows.

(Again, sorry if it sounded too direct

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