Emotional management.
How do you manage emotions?
It’s more so towards other people.
Never towards my son.
My mother was very emotionally unstable growing up and I always swore I’d never be like her but now I’m seeing signs.
The other day my bd was pissing me off as I was trying to put our son in the car, I asked him to move the seat forward so I could fit the car seat in but he had his earphones on and wasn’t paying attention.
So I got huffy and started slamming the car doors, moved the seat myself and put the pram in the back.
Our son started crying but in my opnonion it was because. We weren’t driving but he said it was bc I was slamming the doors but I don’t remember if I slammed them after he was already IN the car.
I literally lost it. Normally I just keep it in but recently I’ve been losing control over my frustration with my bd.
It’s seems that literally only to do with him and things he does but there’s been other times I’ve lost it at small things when I’m overwhelmed and our son is crying eg I ordered groceries and half of them didn’t come so I got mad and lost it punching the bed.
Ive always (thought I had) control over myself but recently idk if it’s bc I’m overwhelmed or things are just pissing me off but I’m losing my shit regularly and don’t know how to deal or manage the strong emotions.
I will say tho even if I’m mad I have never been frustrated with my son or allowed it to affect him (but saying that idk if it has from slamming doors/raging to myself/hitting my bed)
I’m worried I’ll be like my mum but I’ll never hit him or take it out on him. I’m just scared of myself
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I can relate on all parts... Emotionally unstable mother... Getting annoyed over stupid things, Moments of rage.. just want you to know you're not alone! The fact you're so conscious of being like your Mum shows you care, and you won't end up like her! I think all three are true, it's normal for this stage of life, the rage IS real and therapy can help!
It could also be contributed to postpartum rage. So it might be more hormonal than emotional. People always assume the only thing you can get is postpartum depression but there is also postpartum anxiety and rage
This sounds soooooo much like postpartum rage
A agree that it sounds postpartum rage. I went from being chill and unphased by anything before having my baby, to being so irritable and hostile. It doesn't help that it feels like the dads become more incompetent after the baby arrives. Therapy is always good, especially while moving into a new life stage, but your feelings aren't out of the ordinary. Postpartum hormone shifts combined with stress, overstimulation, and sleep loss can really turn us into rage machines.
Side note, I also had a parent with a lot of emotional instability and anger issues, abusive behavior, etc, so I'm also always worried about becoming my dad, even before having a baby. Your feelings are valid, it's very stressful when we worry about inflicting the same traumas that we grew up with onto our children.
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