Husband and relationship 1 year after having a baby
I don’t have anyone else to talk to nor did I have much before the baby but yes postpartum isn’t talked about enough nor is it supported enough.
Having a baby has been the biggest joy and blessing I’ve had and I see that too in my husband. But because we prioritised our baby that life and our life came after, it’s all just not making sense to me.
The resentment has grown, from the tiredness, the stress the sleepless nights to having to tell HIM what to do takes a toll on me. I even got hospitalised and had flu like symptoms he never held the baby for me. I’be now got an autoimmune disease that was triggered from hormone but worsen because of the amount of stress. I kept telling myself first babies are tough, being newly wedded is tough, Yes it’s also new to him but it’s all very new to me too.
I started seeing signs of his behaviour becoming more and more bland in our family and most especially our relationship. Stopped talking, conversations about his day, stopped doing even little things for me, stopped housework. Never planned anything for us and stopped being intimate. At first I looked for it then I got angry and now I’m bitter and can’t even stand his snoring so we sleep in different beds making the distance between us more further.
I feel exhausted, anxious, stressed and very very very fucking lonely here. I’m torn from moving on as we have just started building for our little family but then again, why do I feel like I’m all alone building this? I feel so lost and don’t know what to do. Has anyone been in this position? Is this normal?
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Firstly it’s hard being a mum! Your baby will always be number one in your eyes and you husband second.
Is it worth you both looking at some counselling together for your relationship?
Is he open to sitting down and talking about it?
Maybe he’s struggling too and doesn’t know how to approach it or worried that he will make things worse?
It’s so hard being a first time mum (I am too) and I found that each week we sit down no phones baby in bed and talk about how we are both feeling this week with work, being a mum/dad and our relationship and how we can help that. It’s a rollercoaster and even worse when baby is poorly/teething/growing/regression the list is never ending.
Is it worth you going out and leaving him with baby and see how he gets on his own? A case of I need space ?
Not sure if any of that makes sense or is helpful? Xx
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