FIGHTING IN PREGNANCY??

My partner and I definitely had some rough patches while I was pregnant. The hormones made me very sensitive and emotional, my emotions felt overwhelming at times. But he was never aggressive, explosive or made me feel unsafe. Your husband’s behavior is totally uncalled for and he needs to figure his shit out because if he thinks it’s hard now he has a huge reality check coming his way when baby arrives.

Do you have family or friend support around you? Anyone who can help give you advice or help right now? Being pregnant makes you especially vulnerable physically and emotionally and I’m concerned youre not in a physically or emotionally safe situation.

I must add, he plans on being a very supportive partner and present father. He never misses an appointment with the Obgyn and goes out of his way to try to ensure he is present in the future. I appreciate that. The escalated fighting is just getting to me as it happens weekly and daily some weeks.

Punching the wall is a major red flag is that something he’s done before or is it new?

Not normal, if he is this aggressive now it’s only going to get worse when baby is here because baby will be crying at night and he will be sleep deprived.
I’d suggest counseling and anger management if he doesn’t I’d be moving in with my family. You’re not meant to loose weight while pregnant so that just shows how bad it really is, talk to your midwives as they can help you find support and a way out if you can’t turn to your family

If this is how it is when you’re pregnant, it’s most likely going to be worse once the baby is here. A baby tests your relationship in most cases, a baby doesn’t fix it. I forget what the statistic is, but you’re like 3x more likely to be murdered by your spouse while pregnant. I would honestly consider separating to give myself space to evaluate if I still want to be in the marriage or not. I try not to give any advice to leave on this app bc we rarely know all of the facts, but this is very concerning friend.

Reading ur comments about him not liking you talking to friends is also a red flag. Hear me when I say this: his behaviour while you’re pregnant is not okay. It is likely not going to change or stop the further along you get and it may get worse and end up with you being hurt next. Tell your family what is happening. At least then more people are aware in case anything does happen.

He sounds like he’s quite controlling and yes he may plan on being a supportive partner and present father but his actions right now are not okay at all.

He needs to get help with managing his emotions asap. Otherwise you may have to chose between staying with him or leaving for you and your baby’s safety.

I don’t say this to scare you I say it because I went through something similar. I made every excuse under the sun for his behaviour and tried to keep up his image with my family and it got worse.
Be careful and make sure you have someone you can talk to

get out. get out, get out, get out. i know you might think we're over reacting because you're in the midst of it but if he's punching holes in the wall that means he can't regulate his anger and you are in danger. if it's new that means there is plenty of time for it to continue to escalate, which it will. like others have said, we know it's scary to hear, but sometimes this is the sign before someone puts their partner in the hospital or kills them. this is serious and you need to leave your shared residence immediately.

in general men should be more sensitive to their pregnant partners, not less, but the punching holes is a black and white thing that takes it beyond that nuance. you and your baby are in danger every second you stay. im so sorry you have to be finding out this way but i hope you get to safety soon.

"Plans to be present and supportive"...? Why is he not already? Also, sounds like he comes to every appointment so you can't tell anyone how he is acting, seems controlling even if only subtly if that makes sense?

I'm not even bothering to read everything ...as soon as I read "punches the wall" ......also NO! Not normal for a partner to be an asshole while pregnant. Mine was in protector mode the first time. I don't think you should stick around...these are your warning signs, take your baby and FLEE

Some men take advantage of the vulnerability that pregnant women face to increase the level of violence in the household. Run while you can. That men has a anger issue and you are not responsible of it. Leave. It won't get better. It only will get worse.

Punching anything during a fight is a major red flag and it’s following the pattern most abusers follow in that you become less safe after getting pregnant and giving birth. If you need help finding resources in your area, message me and I’ll do some research for you.

I am so sorry that you’re going through such a hard time having to deal with this kind of confusion. But I want you to know that you’re not “too much.” Pregnancy is already such a vulnerable time, and you deserve patience, kindness, and emotional safety, not anger or blame. Walking away from conflict isn’t wrong, it’s protecting your peace. Please don’t blame yourself for his reactions. You deserve support, not stress. Be gentle with yourself, you and your baby matter. Sending lots of hugs xx🤍