Father not enjoying ‘fatherhood’

You need to have a proper chat, just because he has an older child, it doesn’t mean anything — maybe he feels like he could or should be doing more etc? Talk to him, don’t just brush off his feelings. If I was in your shoes I’d want to get to the bottom of it and see what would help. 😅

It’s obviously not something you expect or want to hear…however I would’ve personally appreciated the honesty (if he means it), as some men / people in general would never admit that openly…Honestly if that were my husband I would just sit down with him and have a conversation about why he feels like that, as there must be a reason… otherwise that’s quite a bold statement to make??…especially when he’s already got a teenager. Things like what is different between then and now? Anything that would make it enjoyable? Just see how that goes. It might turn out that he’s just in his head, tired or doesn’t mean it…? X

I think having more of a chat about what he’s finding difficult and how you can help each other. I think we forget that men can get PP depression too. It’s super hard!

Oh wah wah he sounds like a big baby himself.
"I want my old life"
Yeah, and I don't want to have spaghetti fanny or boobs that feel like sauna bricks 😫
I'd be p****d off too. I'd say go and live your life Mr Stringfellow 🤣🤣🤣

I think it's quite a typical man thing to be honest. When they're so tiny, men seem to not be able to bond with them like when they're older and can play etc.
When I say how the time is going so quickly and I don't like it, my partner always says how glad he is it's going quickly, which breaks my heart!
He also always says things like 'I can't wait for when she can walk' 'I can't wait for when she can talk' 'I can't wait until she can eat proper meals' etc

My husband would probably tell you the same thing when they’re baby’s. As you know, baby’s are hard work. We have a 3 year old and a 6 month old and my husband excels with the toddler and isn’t great with the baby stage. He would openly say the same. Even with our second, knowing what to expect. Obviously a conversation is needed because even if it’s hard for him, you do need help. But I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised by this to be honest

My partner was the same. He never outwardly said it but I could tell. He would just say he was 'struggling'. But now baby is almost 8 months. She's babbling. She's crawling. He adores her now. I think it's hard for dads in the beginning cos baby only wants mum. Dads return to work so they miss most of the day to day stuff. X

Shove her back in lol 😂 that made me giggle 🤭! What’s he struggling with exactly?

My husband really didn't come into his fatherhood era til our son turned one. Now he couldn't be more of a devoted father and loves our son more than anything in the world. The baby stage is tough and not for everyone - myself included. I much prefer motherhood now my son is a toddler so just came to say your husband isn't alone in how he is feeling but hopefully he can find ways to find joy in the little things while she is still young.

I would just say same here, it’s tough isn’t it - and then say all the things I don’t get to do anymore as well.

I would be seething if I heard that ngl. I think it's fair enough to say "I'm not enjoying the sleepless nights" or "it's hard feeling like my social life is so limited these days" but saying youre not enjoying fatherhood is a big big statement. Esp as a 2nd time dad! Like this isn't your first rodeo! And you say you mostly deal with the baby anyway. I would be thinking about leaving personally cos how can he only be sorting the baby out for 10% of the time and still have the gall to complain about it?

I can't believe some of these comments absolutely bullying and berating him or telling him to grow up etc. If a mum said she wasn't enjoying motherhood and missed her old life everyone would be all over her saying how it's so hard and it's okay to feel that way etc etc so why can't a dad feel that way. Oftentimes those feelings come from PPD and it's not only mums that can experience it. If he had help with his first and doesn't have that same help now it's understandable he never felt that way with his first because it would essentially be his 'first time' going through all this and having a baby without help even if mom is doing the most. I don't think these comments are being fair on him. Parenthood is hard no matter if you're mom or dad. I'd be glad he felt safe enough with me to openly admit that and explore what changes could be made to help him feel better. Yeah he'll never have his old life back but there's ways to bring joy into his current life. Could you agree to give each other an hour completely

Uninterrupted alone time to do whatever? In that time kiddos will know mom or dad are having some time out and they need to come to the 'on duty' parent. Even though with littles I get that it will be more difficult. There is always something that can change something that can be done. I'd also want to look into the idea of seeing a therapist or someone because it really does sound like ppd

My boyfriend feels the same, 13 months in still struggling. Even though his feelings are valid, I just can’t empathise with him for long, I’m bearly holding it together myself and I have a child that depends on me 95% of the time so I don’t have time to really concern myself with his emotions. Hence why I don’t want another child with him ( a bit hash, I know)