Stepkids (12F, 17M) hating the new pregnancy.. how to handle?
Hey everyone, looking for advice on navigating some tough stepfamily dynamics.
My partner and I have been together for a while. There was a lot of drama with his ex at the beginning, so the kids didn't like me initially. I get why the transition was hard, but we're running into a wall now that I gave birth.
The 12-year-old daughter has been super moody and upset about the pregnancy, especially stressing over whether it's a girl (we waited till I gave birth to find out the gender). On a recent FaceTime (which included the ex and the 17yo son), she literally sat in the background the whole time texting, ignoring us completely.
It really unsettled me especially the thought of her resentment if I had a daughter. I gave birth to a baby boy but still.
How do you guys handle stepkids who are openly resentful about a new baby, and how do you set boundaries with FaceTime calls when the ex is involved? Any advice is appreciated!
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This is a very tricky and difficult time.. my half brother is 11 years younger than me and 13 than my sister. The siblings need to be heard, validated, included but never forced. Their hurt could be toward their father for bringing a new life that feels like their replacement. Just know that things are going to have to get raw and real to heal. You all got thisš„ā¤ļø
Yes I feel like she was worried about a baby girl because she would feel replaced. Definitely just talk to them. If you can, find a way when theyāre visiting to talk to them one on one. They might not want to at first, just be kind and patient. Let them know you donāt want to replace their mom but you want to be friends.
I wasnāt fully happy that my mom got pregnant when I was 15. But after holding the baby and being involved as a family it really helped me bond with her. Now weāre besties!
Try going out to eat and asking if she wants to hold the baby. Maybe pay her to babysit while you go do errands. Find little ways to get them to hang out. Maybe family pictures??
My boys felt like they were going to be forgotten when the new baby especially since it was another boy. My husband had us all sit down before the baby came to talk about what they were feeling and why. My husband and I also had a talk because I wanted to make sure he didn't treat them any different. So far everything is good the boys love their new baby brother. I think talking about it really helped. My ex is a POS and my kids don't like him so no ex drama unless he mistreated the boys then its on. lol
Hey Mama, I have been dealing with the same thing. I have step 18F and 16M, and my baby boy 3mo. My issue is that both of the step kids accepted the baby at first, but it turns out the girl was faking it. We also have issues with the girl solely because of my husband's ex, which has resulted in a poor relationship between the girl and me right now. If you are asking me, just leave it alone. I always do. I know it causes a lot of anxiety and discomfort for us, but we cannot control other people, specifically someone else's daughter and my husband's ex. My stepson accepts us very well, and I am grateful for that. But I always keep in mind that once you have your own child, it is just the two of you. I do not need someone else's child to dictate my happiness or disrupt my peace.
Believe me it's hard, and it stays like that. But we can control to care or not care
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Stepkids (12F, 17M) hating the new pregnancy.. how to handle?
Hey everyone, looking for advice on navigating some tough stepfamily dynamics.
My partner and I have been together for a while. There was a lot of drama with his ex at the beginning, so the kids didn't like me initially. I get why the transition was hard, but we're running into a wall now that I gave birth.
The 12-year-old daughter has been super moody and upset about the pregnancy, especially stressing over whether it's a girl (we waited till I gave birth to find out the gender). On a recent FaceTime (which included the ex and the 17yo son), she literally sat in the background the whole time texting, ignoring us completely.
It really unsettled me especially the thought of her resentment if I had a daughter. I gave birth to a baby boy but still.
How do you guys handle stepkids who are openly resentful about a new baby, and how do you set boundaries with FaceTime calls when the ex is involved? Any advice is appreciated!
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