What would you allow

. If you don’t want to have sex because you’re uncomfortable then say that because if the reason is about the words he said he could be trying to show you he didn’t mean it by showing physical affection because sometimes that’s all guys know. And I think you probably rationalized this that’s why you put down your boundaries. if you put out because you didn’t know why not to put out it’s because you didn’t have strong boundaries. So the answer to your question is how to draw boundaries with someone who doesn’t listen would be to RATIONALIZE the boundaries with yourself. If you have a solid reason to why you want a boundary it will hold up. But if it’s a petty reason they are easier to let down. Anyways I really hope you guys find a way to love each other more than yourselves and become more compassionate and understanding with each other for yourselves . love always wins

I see you are Nerodivergent , same that’s why I have a bone to pick with you. Lyss you may have expirences that traumatized you to respond to her story this way or You may not be picking up on the between the lines. That’s common for Nerodivergents I can also see you are divorced. Since it seems as if you are single i suggest u sit back and take relationship advice not give it. Because the goal is for women to be happy and that includes partnership. And your antisocial unemotionally intellectual conclusions are not societally helpful i hope this helps u

This happened to me I kept having sex with him even tho I didn’t want it and let me tell u, it will scar u. Do not do this. It only benefits him. The more respect u put on urself the more he will want u.

The easier u are to get the less he will respect u

I am sorry you are going through this. I think you should figure out what YOU want from this. Do you actually want to be with him or do you feel stuck? I've seen replies that say you love him but also saying you have nowhere else to go and no one to help. Of course, all of these things can be true at once. However, are you sure that you want to stay with him because you truly love him or because you feel like its your only option at the moment (having his baby and living together). Either way, you guys need to have a clear conversation on boundaries. I know you mentioned the kink in the beginning, however if this is no longer the case, it needs to be clearly stated that when you say "no" you mean it and you aren't playing hard to get. Also, it would be helpful for you guys to have an honest conversation on what is going on between the two of you. I know he said "it was make up sex" but men will say anything when they are horny. Is he truly trying to have a relationship or did he just want sex?

Lastly, I want to be clear that this is coming from a place of concern and love but I do think you should take comments into consideration. I know life isnt black and white and this possibly could be a miscommunication error due to the sexual history that you guys share. However, the choice of having sex or not should never be taken from someone. If you do not want to sleep with him (for any reason or no reason at all) that needs to be respected. From the original post I'm concerned because your safety and babies safety are the most important thing. I want you to feel safe and like you have a voice in your home.