Disappointment 😟

Hi i am a stay at home mom to 2 kids. My son turned 2 last month and my daughter just turned 1 a week ago so as a SAHM i am very busy. I do all the cleaning, cooking, bath time, playing with the kids, doctor appointments, soothing the kids when they’re upset, planning birthdays you name it.

When I bring up that I would love to go on dates more or if I tell him I’ve had a stressful day at home he always will say but look at what I provide you and the kids we have a beautiful home and at least you’re at home.

My husband is a great provider and I truly do appreciate what he does for our family but I can’t help but to feel like I am always put on the back burner. We do not do dates often and just his lack of consideration has me feeling down. Monday was my birthday and my husband had to obviously work. He had told me that we would go out to eat after he got off so I get all dressed up and when he gets home, he then tells me he’s like hey I’ve had a pretty stressful day at work and I have to go workout to be ready for this upcoming work event can we just celebrate your birthday this weekend. I was upset but I was adult about it. He could have gotten me a card and flowers or even cooked me dinner but nope and he says we are supposed to celebrate this Saturday and that he was off this whole weekend now today he tells me hey my sergeant wants me to work a little on Saturday but I’ll be off by 1pm. It’s just I always have to be flexible and he does not. I do not even feel like celebrating anymore at this point

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Totally understand where you are coming from

My husband is a great provider but I needed a little extra from him when he came home, he now baths and puts out 2 year old to bed while I take the dog out, both things that need done (our dog is very reactive so difficult to walk with buggy) I get some fresh air and a quick destress from a full day of kids and chores and he gets to spend time with his son before bed. I don’t see it as unfair. We are both working hard in different ways

I think this is very common when you’re a STAHM. I often tell my husband I miss him and we never have time together and he doesn’t get it he says we live together I see you everyday. In reality he works second shift and will get home at midnight and stay up until between 2-4am playing video games and sleep until noon most days. He’s home for about two hours a day that I see him and I’m taking care of the baby and trying to get things done like showering while he’s home and awake. I tell him I need him to help more when he’s home but he seems annoyed when I ask for help sometimes and tells me it’s my job and I wanted this. Last weekend I had a breakdown over it right in front of him and ever since he’s been more helpful. I think we hide our true frustration and emotions because we don’t want to upset them, but why is it fair for us to be unhappy and pretend we aren’t for their sake? If it really is upsetting let him see that. You have the right to be happy just as much as he does.

in our community

Pls help with this!

My baby has been having this on his gum for weeks now and the gp said it’s nothing but I’m so worried.
Has ever come across this before? I’m soo worried. Not sure if it’s affecting his feeding.. but he eats ok.

Disobedient Husband

Hi, throughout duration of my pregnancy the husband has been rude and inconsiderate. He has forgotten my birthday and our anniversary.

I’m not sure if obedience school is an option at this age because he is 40 now and beyond the point of training age.

Any tips or helpful tricks to mediate his autonomy at this time ?

Overwhelmed mama

Hey all,

This is just a rant I apologise in advance and I’m posting anonymously because I’m carrying so much shame for this but I need to say it out loud… being a mama is tough!!!!

Doing it solo since my LO was 6 weeks old and I’ve got so many positives happening right now, a new home I’m decorating and getting ready to move into with my little boy, life should feel lighter. But the to do list, with an 8, almost 9 month old who’s been battling a cold for a week, sleepless nights, grumpy days, I’m burnt out.

I’ve tried talking to my own mum but she questions how I’m going to cope being on my own with him (we are currently at my parents) and when I try to talk to her when I get a little overwhelmed, she responds in ways that highlight why I shouldn’t be struggling and it makes me shut down and say less.

Please tell me I’m not alone having hard days? I’m like a bottle of pop constantly being shook with nowhere to put it, so I’m posting this on here whilst crying on the toilet. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Please be gentle.

Behaviour

I have a 5 year old daughter and her attitude and behaviour is so bad lately is that normal

Upset

So my bf has told me "you've let yourself go" and "im not attracted to you " I had my baby 5 months ago. I do everything on my own (hes gone 5 days a week) I have no family here. When hes home he doesnt do much. My baby doesnt take a bottle so I cant even go to the nail salon. I am a stay at home mom. Im starting up my business with a 5 month old. And my bd just sent me a photo of me when I was prepragancy..... he didmt say anything just sent a mirror butt selfie I had taken. Im upset. I was 196 when I got pregnant and im down to 217. I cant count calories due to breast feeding and I've just expressed that for the last 4 months I've had the baby blues. Like how you yall feel?

Questions for SAHM

Are you guys genuinely giving your baby your undivided attention all day?? My baby is fine with independent play on his mat so often times I let him just play (obviously I’m nearby paying attention) but if he’s not crying I just let him be. I use this time to clean whatever room I’m in or just relax for a second. Is that bad?? For 5 months he’s where he should be milestone wise I think. Rolling both ways, rocking back and forth getting ready to crawl, sits up mostly unsupported.. I just feel guilty like should I be playing with him all day?? Or is independent play a good skill to have?? And yes I do play with him, and if he’s crying I pick him up and comfort him and play with him in my lap.