Career after having a child?

Hey! I can absolutely relate to what you're saying. We are fortunate to have family locally but its still really hard- find myself comparing to mums who can just be mums, and professionals who can work without being parents. Have you considered changing/ cutting down your hours to see if that helps? Or spoken to your boss? Youre only 6 months in right? (I had a promotion when I went back first time and it took a lot of adjusting and time)

Sorry to hear you feel alone. Its super hard. For me, after a gruelling 6-9months in 2022, I found my groove and it got easier. When things get difficult in my home life the stress just builds and builds though. Have nearly been off with stress this year. Thankfully my hubby shares a lot of the load at home.
Feedback from my boss helps my perspective on whether it's my high standards or genuine not performing, might help guide you in your decision?

Hire a nanny maybe. Ask hubby to do more, the 5 day work week is definitely out dated

I work full time over 4 days a week, could that be an option if you don't want to reduce your hours? My husband and I don't have support other than nursery, so it puts pressure on him for 4 days because he has to do most of the nursery runs, but it reduces our childcare costs and gives me an extra day with our LO. I've been on secondment for 9 months and both my new and old team have been open to my working pattern. Agree with others about asking for feedback, and hopefully that would put your mind at rest, or at least highlight what to focus on. It's hard to see the true reality sometimes when we're spinning 100 plates! Xx

Same honestly, I need a weekend away from work and then a weekend away from my weekend. It's just so exhausting! And I'm doing so so bad at work. I used to be so
good at it and constantly complained about those who didn't do a good job... now I'm one of those people which just makes it feel like karma 🤦🏼‍♀️
I think everyone at my new job since having a baby are a lot more negative to my work before, but I get told off like 10 times a day over something I've done wrong or something I've forgotten.
Luckily my manager is so nice and even though she doesn't have kids she is very understanding of my mum brain and everything going on, I've even had her as my therapist at times when home life is affecting my work life so much I just burst out crying 😅

I absolutely know that you mean. I’ve been thinking about this A LOT and speaking to many highly intelligent and successful mum friends, and we are all reaching the conclusion that we’ve been sold a lie, namely that women can have it all at once. I don’t think we can be the best version of ourselves as mums, professionals and wives/partners at the same time. I now strongly believe that it’s seasonal and the system doesn’t fully enable us to live this way. There’s a season for being a mum and a season for career advancement. I’ve always been quite a high shooter at work and went back early after Mat leave because I felt I’m missing out. I even applied and got a big promotion two months into my return, and it turned out to be an absolute shitshow, because it was too demanding and stressful. I was firmly convinced I had to do it because I was capable, and so I ended up feeling like I don’t give enough to my son and I’m not doing enough at work. Half a year ago we moved countries (part 1)

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to reply. I feel that this community is holding me right now and all your messages feel like a hug. I was scared I would be judged for posting this but I felt so seen instead. Thank you, truly!❤️

It is crazy how we are all experiencing the same. Prior to my pregnancy I have been one of the highest performers in a big tech company and I came back from maternity leave very early, my LO was only 8 months. Luckily my manager is very supportive and I was able to work from home. However, I am certainly underperforming, constantly burnt out, stressed, my memory is very bad, I am forgetting the tasks I have been giving a few months ago and I think many people notice it. What helps me is I try to ignore it, I just shut down part of me that cared so much about work. I know, I am underperforming and I know that probably manager is not impressed at all but I somehow managed to change the priorities and if I need to pick up my son, I close work at 5 and ignore the rest🙈🥲 it is bad, really bad but somehow I stopped caring. Not sure if this is helpful but detaching emotionally from work might somehow ease the situation… at least in my case❤️