Do your partners help with night duties?

My baby sleeps by my husband as he doesn’t wake up with light steering like me and the LO sleeps more not smelling my milk. When he wakes up, my husband goes to change his nappy while I sleep and then brings him to me and goes back to sleep . I feed the baby and wait 15minutes after he starts sleeping to make sure he is in deep sleep, then I wake up my husband and he moves the baby into the crib. He wakes up around 8 to have breakfast and usually the baby doesn’t really go back to sleep after 7:30-8, so he takes him downstairs until he has to connect to his 9:00 or 9:30 meetings so I can sleep fully during that 1-2h. He is really supportive and considers it doing his part, not “helping” after all I’m still spending more time awake than him

How often is baby up during the night? Is baby formula, breast or combo fed?

For us, our LO is up at least once at night and combo fed.. hubby makes bottle, feeds baby and changes nappy whilst I rest a bit and then I breastfeed/get baby back to sleep. Hubby sleeps in different room, so hes back to sleep by then.

When he's back from work, he takes baby or sorts out bits for baby.

I know some couples who take turns to be up with baby so first wake them, second wake hubby and so on but we find tag teaming works better for us. Or some where hubby changes nappy before each feed if breastfed. Or some who pumps during the day and hubby takes every first wake of baby etc..

You both need to sit and chat about this - tell them when you most need help. It'll be trial and error at first but a conversationis needed. Be open and honest. Otherwise, the resentment will sit deep.

Thanks, I’ve tried asking for help just to get a bit more sleep, but he says he works to midnight (he says he works best at this time) ,and so then needs the 6-7hrs sleep.

Baby is breastfed, goes down at 9, sometimes wakes at 12, otherwise it’s 3 or 4 am, and then up for the day at 6.

Yeah you need the sleep, it is very full on. Does hubby have a set working time? As in if he wfh which sounds like he does, could he be with bsby while you rest,? Could he do everything else before baby goes down at 9? Or could he take baby longer than an hour in the morning?

Are weekends any different? Could he have baby more then? Any family or close friends near by that can come over during the day to help whilst you rest?

Sorry you're not getting the support you need from hubby. Curious if this was his routine before baby.. as he doesn't sound like he's willing to be flexible when having a baby changes everything! and naturally our routine before baby also changes to adapt and support each other.

My husband works nights so I have the children all through the night and until around 12pm when he wakes up, then we do it all together. They go down at 6:30pm and he goes to work at 9:30pm. It’s bad when I have a bad night with them but does help knowing I only have to make it until 12! X

I'm EBF so nights are on me. Lucky as little one will feed and go straight back to sleep. My first baby I pumped and hubby did every night feed whilst I went downstairs to pump so I know he's happy to help. He's also in charge of our 2 year old overnight unless I happen to be awake. Our toddler has always been a rubbish sleeper and is currently worse then usual!

I deal with our LO up until 2am (feeds, changes, resettling etc) and then we swap and he does until he gets up at 6 however we’re quite lucky in that she doesn’t really wake up a lot at night at the moment.

At night He does the poos, I do the food!

We threw my partner out of the room months ago. Nothing worse than a grown men complaining that he is tired. He sleeps through it all. He is likely to crush my baby if he was with us.


Would prefer to do all the night shift then to endanger my baby.

Husband deals with toddler if he's up at all, I breastfeed and co sleep with baby. Sometimes he'll rock baby back to sleep for me if I'm having a rough night and the toddler is sleeping soundly!

I've done night duties solo with both of my kids, 1st was formula fed and 2nd is EBF. I can function on a lack of sleep a lot better than my husband as even before babies, I didn't sleep much thanks to insomnia! However, he is always there if I need him and he has absolutely no issues or complaints in being woken. With both babies, we have had times where they had been inconsolable for whatever reason and he immediately jumps in to take over and will stand up and settle them by rocking or walking around.

Postpartum with my 1st, my husband picked up more around the house so I could rest and nap in the day if needed and with the 2nd, he does night wakes with our eldest which is often more than the baby lately and keeps her entertained on weekends and evenings when I do not have the energy! When he works from home, he will often get up with my eldest who is often up at 6am and get her fed and ready for the day while I sleep in

Sun-Weds I do the nights solo whilst hubby sleeps in spare room (baby is ebf). But Thurs-Sat he does the nights so that I can go to bed later (baby contact-sleeps only) and ai nip upstairs every two hours to feed her.

Hubby starts work at 10am on weekdays (and works from home) so every morning 8-10am, he takes the LO so that I can shower, workout etc

I do Sunday - Wednesday so he is well rested for the majority of the week for work then he does Thurs/Fri/Sat so I can have a break, works well for us 😊