Pranking = innocent fun or just unkind

I think it's fun and a way men bound as long as they're both safe. When you can, join in. It would increase all three of you's bound.❤️❤️

My hubby plays very boisterously with my toddler all the time, They have built a lovely relationship through it and it helps him develop. It’s not how i play but i love they have their own style.

I do draw some boundaries around it, cold water in the bath would be a nono, hubby would get told off for that. He’s not allowed boisterous play 15 minutes before bed time, etc.

But there is a difference here as my hubby is sensible with limits and never hurts him - there hasn’t been an issue there. A grown man throwing a ball at a child’s back as hard as possible is a Nono. (Though if with a foam ball I guess you can’t do any damage)?

the bath thing sounds like an accident, not a prank. but if it were intentional that wouldn’t be nice. the ball game sounds fun! as long as it’s not actually as hard as he can throw lol. if little one is laughing and he’s not getting hurt he’s probably having a good time.

I just asked hubby his opinion, he said sounds like he needs to exercise better judgment

I teach my kids not to prank. I don’t think it teaches kids how to be respectful of others, but who knows maybe it’s me, me growing up and watching Punk’d and how horrible it was but we just were so normalized by it but now we look back and think it was pretty fucked up. And i honestly think it’s weird that he refers to pranks as “manly bonding”. There are other healthier ways to do “manly bonding” like playing catch or going fishing. But throwing something as hard as you can at a small child just doesn’t sit right with me even if it is a soft item. I honestly feel trust your gut instinct on this. If you are uncomfortable with it, your husband should respect it.

Do you really need to ask about advice? Next time your husband has a shower, do the same thing to him, switch to icy cold water. Let's see how he enjoys prank!
I find this prank culture utterly distasteful, especially when involving such small children.
It is not character building. It teaches your son that this type of behaviour towards him is OK. What parent book or psychologist did recommend himself this technique 😒 🤔??

These are not pranks, this is cruel behaviour. What would he have done had the water coming out the tap been scalding hot?!
Throwing a ball at a 3 year olds back as hard as he can is not a prank, that has the potential to really hurt him.

I would be having a serious chat to him about his behaviour towards your son as this is not ok.

When the reaction is tears, it's no longer fun and games. Your child is 3 YEARS OLD that is too young for pranks in my opinion. Your husband should still be building a safe and secure bond not pulling "pranks" that your 3yo doesn't understand

Sometimes a kid's first bully is their own parents.... Then they're gonna bully other kids at school. That's totally inappropriate. A joke is when EVERYONE is laughing.

What "character" is your husband's behaviour building exactly...? Other than emotional insecurity and confusion in your child.

There are many ways to play and joke with a child that don't involve any of this.

No offence but your husband sounds like a bit of a bully and not a very particularly bright one at that (eg. not realising the water was cold before chucking it on your child). Your husband is just normalising cruel behaviour and your child will probably end up being mean to other children.

In my opinion it would only be ok if
a. your son is laughing at the end of it, and b. your son was old enough to prank your husband back. One sided pranking, where the pranked person is too young to prank back just seems a little mean to me.

If only one is laughing. It's not funny, step in.
If both are laughing, let them be.
Have you tried helping your son prank your husband?

I think if it's cruel or borderline bullying then obviously it's not okay, my dad was like this to me and my brother and it really affected him (more so than me cos I do think he got the worst of it).
If it's just fun and silly then it's fine, I would agree that it's character building, he will develop a sense of humour and hopefully be able to not take himself too seriously.

If they are playing together that is fine but what your husband is doing is making your son a punchline in some way, the playing here is too hurt/humiliated/tease your son, that's really inappropriate. A good litmus test would be, would he appreciate any of this (if someone bigger and stronger started doing it to him).

I would honestly worry that your son thinks this is an appropriate way to interact with his peers and accidentally hurts them.

Your husband can be physical/rough play with your son without him being the target of a joke.