Relationship

I was in the exact same boat, dad was amazing the first 2/3 weeks when he wasn’t at work he even did more than me! Then when he went back to work the novelty seemed to wear off a little for him and he just expected me to do everything and got abit lazy with it! We’ve had a few conversations over it and he has worked on stuff and it seems to be getting better, definitely as my boy has gotten older and more engaging too! My advice would be to sit down chat and get everything out! Communication is key especially in this first year of our babies lives. Hope all goes well for you 🤍

Thank you so much for sharing your experience ☺️ really glad it seems to be going better 🎉 I will try to have a conversation about it and hopefully it will get better for us too xx

With a second baby I definitely do things differently to what I did with my first. This time around I thought "why do I need to ask if it's ok that I go for a shower, when he wouldn't bat an eyelid just leaving and not even telling me he is off for a shower because he will just assume I am already in charge of the two kids" so now sometimes I just walk out and he hears the shower is on and he has the girls downstairs 🤣 he has always been great if I asked for anything or told him but I got bored of feeling like I needed to declare my absence when he never had to!! He is nonstop helping with both kids/chores from 4pm when he is home from work til 8.30pm and up again at 6am after dealing with the wakes in the night for our older daughter (usually having slept in her bed since her 3am wake lol). I feel like I'm v lucky but also I don't think you should just accept poor husband/father duties. Feeling hurt and stressed is shit, it's up to your partner to improve that too. Speak to him about it maybe xx

One of his friends had a baby a month or so before us and when they came over he was saying he washes wife’s pump for her or at weekend takes baby downstairs so wife can sleep for extra hour etc and some of my work friends who had baby similar time so first 4 hours of night or they all have agreements so it’s manageable for the mums! So he knows other people are being helped and still doesn’t want to do any of it, my baby is EBF so I get that nights he can’t do much but the weekends it would be great to have a little help xx

I would love that! We wouldn’t have to explain either as we all just get it ☺️

Thank you so so much I really appreciate it 🥰xx

That sounds super tough. Could he have some depression maybe? Maybe when you approach him to talk about it come from that angle, like check if he is ok and give him space to talk to you about his feelings. If he says he is fine then ask why he doesn't want to be an equal partner in the home? I think is right though and he does just sound lazy. I'm so sorry it's all falling to you to do and you're having such a tough time. It's absolutely not just the norm to be accepted though xx

Thank you so much mamas 🥰❤️ I will take on what you’ve both said and try have a really calm conversation with my partner where we can both just talk openly and go from there xx

This also resonates with me.
I also announce my absence when he doesnt have to and do all the night time wake ups even when hes off work.
I think im making life too easy for him and am probably making my daughter rely on me too heavily as a result.
Weve spoken about it multiple times and things improve for about a week before reverting straight back to where they were. I dont necessarily think its intentional but it certainly isnt fair.
He needs a constant boot up his backside 😅

Aw bless you I’m so sorry you’re doing it all too 🥰 I hope it eventually gets through to him to do his share xx