Venting

I just need to vent for a minute because I’m feeling really overwhelmed and honestly hurt.

I’ve been a stay-at-home mom since I had my son (he’s almost 3 now). Right now we live with my in-laws — we pay rent, buy our own groceries, and I also help by cleaning the house, doing laundry, and taking care of their two dogs on top of being a full-time mom.

When we went to visit my family in California for the holidays (my dad paid because he didn’t want us spending the money), my sister-in-law asked if I could watch her baby once I got back so she could go back to work. I agreed and told her I’d be gone for three weeks for family time and a funeral, but that I’d be happy to help when I returned.

She ended up taking the job while I was gone and had my MIL watch the baby until I got back. Since then, I’ve been watching both her baby (now 1) and my own during the day — usually from 7am until 3pm or sometimes 5:30pm, four days a week.

I’ve been back for about three months now and have only been paid twice ($75 once and $80 once) mind you my MIL is paying me not her. I’m juggling two babies all day, trying to do small side jobs from home to make a little extra money, and still keeping up with cleaning and everything else.

What hurts the most is hearing comments that make it sound like I don’t do anything, when I’m honestly exhausted and doing my best. I feel really overwhelmed lately, and while everyone else seems to have time for outings and self-care, I barely get out unless it’s with my husband.

I guess I’m just wondering… am I doing something wrong, or would anyone else feel this way too?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Girl I think anybody would

I have been in a similar situation. Stayed with my brother in law and his wife after they had their baby. I already had my daughter and a newborn myself. I totally he how you feel. It’s so hard and isolating when people don’t see how much you’re juggling and are not there to see how much work you’re putting in day after day.

If you haven’t already, set boundaries for yourself and for your time. If you’re not getting paid then limit the amount of help you provide them. Free labor is slave labor.

Difficult conversation are a necessity to keep you and your family safe and healthy. If you get too over worked, you and your own baby will suffer the consequences far sooner than anyone else.

Take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to let your position be heard.

Do you look after her kid day or night? I guess what I’m asking is, if you have a free Fri/Sat night, and the kids go to bed, can you duck out then to go for dinner/drinks w a friend or something? As I take my breaks mainly at night. I was doing something similar when my baby was little I had a friend that was a swim teacher 4hrs a day and I’d come over to her house and chill w my baby as well while looking after hers ….I’d go out on Fri or Sat nights as that means Hubbys about to put my baby to sleep and he doesn’t wake until 1am and by then I’m either already just got home or otw nearly home. We need breaks but we need to demand it as no one can make it happen but us. We have to plan it.

in our community

EYFS Nursery

Anyone encountered something in nursery that required some form of feedback or complain?

from what I’m reading, nurseries are supposed to meet individual baby needs and not make them follow nursery schedule.
But most time they said they tried, but never did and make baby follow their own time due to lack of staff.

For example when they r supposed to put baby to sleep or feed milk, they say they can’t (and tried) but in actual fact they have not tried. Inconsistent updates from different nursery staff as well.

I’m worried. If basic updates are inconsistent even. How are we even gonna be at ease when we send our babies there?

Best travel cot??

Any recommendations would be great, going down to Cornwall for a couple of days and would like the option of staying at Grandparents etc

Challenging behaviour

I need help please! I am overwhelmed and sad. I am currently 17weeks pregnant with my second child amd my Son is 3 years and 10months old. He goes to nursery 3 days a week and over the past 6 months, he was said to have been exhibiting challenging behaviours such as hitting people, scratching and screaming when he is upset at nursery. He is different at home but when he's upset, he just cries at home. In nursery, he refuses to share toys or anything and hits at the slightest provocation. No one hits hum at hime so I don't know why he has developed such behaviours all of a sudden. His nursery manager has made us reduce his hours to 2 hrs 30 mins per day which is so tight for me as I work full time. I have tried talking to him, teaching him about safe hands and setting boundaries but nothing at all had changed, i don't know what else to do at this point. His dad (my husband) works far away and comes over the weekend, so there's only little that i can do. I need help please, any suggestions is welcomed.

Things to do on maternity leave

Has anyone got any suggestions of activities to do whilst on maternity leave?
We do swimming once a week and try to go to a play group as well as going for walks.
My LO is 8.5 months old and I’m getting fed up of being in the house as much as we are, so I’m sure my daughter is too!
We’re in Worcestershire area so any ideas/recommendations would be much appreciated 😊

Husband annoyed at our toddler for making a mess

My husband works and I’m a SAHM, and he was working from home today. Our 2-year-old was whinging and didn’t want to go out, even though I asked her so many times. So she was playing in the living room, and obviously it was a mess, toys all over the floor and some papers because she was drawing.

Then my husband came in and started telling our daughter off for whinging and telling her to be nice to me. He was also complaining about the living room being messy. Like, really?! We have a toddler! What is that attitude?!

I’m honestly so annoyed. And I was cooking while my toddler was playing, btw, and now I’m not even going to cook anymore.

Partner watching porn

I felt like my boyfriend was hiding something (again) and I checked his phone, I found lots of porn websites in his search history. I feel like shit, I feel like I’m not enough to anyone. He was never like this and I had a higher sex drive all of a sudden he needs more..
we’ve split up before and he said he started watching it then.. I’m 3 weeks postpartum and we’ve been intimate since and it breaks my heart knowing I’m not enough even tho I made sure his needs are met. I swear any other man would appreciate it, and I do take care of myself so why can’t I just be good enough? Everyone says he’s punching and I could definitely do much better than him, but I just wanted to work things out with him so much no one else mattered to me ever. How do I cope with this?