Should I leave my family?

First, I just want to say how deeply I empathize with you. Depression and anxiety can feel so heavy and isolating, and I truly hope you’re able to find some relief and support.

As someone who grew up with a parent who struggled with mental illness and ultimately chose to leave, I can share that it had a lasting impact. I say that not to add pressure, but simply to offer perspective from the other side.

If it were me, I might consider talking with my therapist about all available support options — including whether a higher level of care, like inpatient treatment, could provide some stabilization and space to heal. There is no shame in needing more support.

I’m really wishing you strength, clarity, and the right kind of help during this time. You matter, and your presence matters more than you may realize.

Girl! Your kiddos and family will not be better off without you! They will most likely grow up thinking you didn’t love them or they weren’t worth staying for. I appreciate my parents FOR staying and handling the 7 kids they made. It makes all the difference to shape a young kids health and personality. Kids with absentee parents grow up with abandonment issues. Imagine, you leaving them now might pave the way for them to be overly attached to their dad, grandparents or future partners. What if they are terrified when dad goes to work or grandma goes to the store because they think they aren’t coming back! What you need is some rest. Maybe e retreat where you can get away and remind yourself that you’re a terrific Mom and that these troubles are temporary.

When we were in the library last week we found a book called ‘Up and Down Mum.’ I believe you can find a way to help your family understand and accept what you are dealing with, that is almost certainly better than leaving. You are already doing a great job from what I read

So sorry you’re feeling this way, I can’t even imagine. I do however disagree with your comment about children of parents with mental health difficulties wishing their parents hadn’t been around. In my experience children/ adult children would prefer to have a parent who is trying their best (even if it doesn’t feel that way always for the parent), than not have them at all. Sending you love 🤍

Im so sorry you are going through this especially for a long time, i suffer with bpd and i started having mental health issues when i was 18 and i got diagnosed everything under the sun until i was finally diagnosed at 28 years old, what helped me was dbt threapy so just wondering have you done dbt or cbt threapy? Also dont feel like you are not doing enough if you wasnt your husband wouldnt be with you and he would of never had a child with you so in his eyes you are perfect even with all your issues, please dont leave your family from expierence it is horrible growing up when a parent has left because you blame yourself for them leaving or you believe they never loved you my dad didnt have mental health but was a severe alcholic and ive never forgave my dad for walking out and the fact your working does show you do have control and no offence every parent will scream or cry so you aint on your own and darling what is best for your baby is to be a mum and be with them everyday

Oh man, I’m sorry! It seems like you’ve really tried a lot. Meditation or yoga or something maybe not so hardcore exercising? Give your self grace, NO ONE is perfect, everything you see online is 20 seconds of someone’s life, everyone has their struggles. I would suggest sitting down with your husband and have an open and deep conversation as he is the one who probably understands YOU best and also wants the best for your child. Best wishes, hun!

You need support more than anything.
The reality of leaving your baby behind is not the same as thinking it.
Your mental health condition will get worse!
Because you will be dealing with the emotional impact of separation from your child and no emotional support from having a partner.

You need to find the right balance of medication that actually works for you.
With medication you are supposed to feel emotionally and mentally stable and be able to function throughout your day.

Your plan sux!
Your living situation and stability will fall apart. Your putting yourself in a worser situation.
And it's not going to benefit you or your child.

If you have a good supportive partner he would help you make positive changes and give you emotional support. You need him by your side.

The body may build a tolerance to medications over time (e.g., lithium), reducing their effectiveness,

I won’t pick one of those responses because these are normal feelings to have especially with bipolar. I have bipolar II and I’ve had these feelings. The best thing for your family is to stay together because they love you and nothing can replace you. Leaving will cause a lot of trauma and heartbreak. You have to seek more professional help talk to a therapist and do anything you can to stay with your family.

PM me, we can chat

As someone whose mom is mentally ill, I can 100 percent say STAY. Yes I have seen my mom in not great states, but I know she loves me, I know she cares, I know she is trying. You just need to slowly educate your child on how being bipolar effects you. Why you are doing the things you do. Be honest and open and apologize when you need to. I cant imagine not having had my mom around. It would have done more damage having her walk away than it does having her stay. Your kids will remember the happy moments and they will have more compassion for those that struggle with mental health. It also can be a good way to educate your kids on mental health and help them see therapy as a natural part of taking care of themselves so if they struggle in the future it doesnt feel foreign.

It sounds like maybe you need more support for your parenting journey. It’s unbelievably tough and trying to manage your own mental health becomes almost impossible at times. You’re not a bad mom and you’re not stupid. I choose a 4th option. Increase your support circle.

Why are all options bad? The fact that you worry so much about it already shows how deeply you care about your baby.
Post partum its a really hard time to deal with even with no illness. The hormones go crazy and mess with your brain. Its really draining for most moms.
I think you are trying your best for your baby and your family and possibly it is more than enough even if you dont feel like it. Baby at the end of the day just needs love. Their nervous system are maturing still and they dont control their own bodies and emotions, since ive learned to remind myself of this when baby is crying im taking it much better. Its not personal, the only thing we can do for them sometimes is hold them and sing them a lullaby.
Also, my mother in law is very sick mentally and my husband still loves her to death, calls every day and takes care of her without a second thought. If you say you are not a danger for baby or yourself, try to just be there for him the best way you can

2) try to remember always baby is not against you, he is not crying because of you. I know its really hard most times, to disconnect from the crying and not take it personally, but it really is not because you are a bad mom.
And lastly remember hormones play a bjg role and after birth it takes years for it to be stable and go back to normal levels. Dont make drastic decisions, you do more than enough just by being there for baby