Buying for the baby

I have a question. My husband is the most amazing person in this world. He care for me, i have not done much since I got pregnant. He cooks and clean. I work full time, he work 8-10 days a month. I sometimes get annoyed that he has not shown any interest in baby shopping at all. I have made a list, looking at videos, trying to come up with a plan but he always says we will just buy something. Don’t think about it too much. I don’t know how I should feel about it.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Girl men will be men it’s just something they don’t really find interesting it doesn’t mean they aren’t interested in the baby it just not something they find exciting, can’t speak for all men but most men hate shopping lol

I think you'll find he probably is interested but struggles to know where to start and until baby arrives it doesn't really feel real to them and like Eden says a lot of men just don't enjoy shopping.

Also men do see it as literally being able to go to a shop any buy anything, not realising the vast amount of choice out there and different benefits to different products.

I think men find it hard to really feel like a baby is coming until the baby is here 😅

We literally grow the baby start to finish and feel every little kick and punch along the way and our bond grows way quicker than the partners/husbands does so for us we’re like ‘I need to get everything sorted for the baby asap’ for men, their lives really don’t change until the baby is here so I think they struggle to get on board with all the purchases. I didn’t consult with my husband on any of the big stuff I.e. travel system, bedside cot, day to day stuff because I’m mainly going to be the one using it so I need to make sure I’m happy with it.

I also wonder, you mention he only works 8-10 days. Could it be financial worries as to why he doesn’t talk about it because he couldn’t financially support it?

I got really frustrated with my partner with our first because he was the same when it came to shopping, pram shopping was probably the easiest shop with him! Everything else I just got, I was nesting so it was more natural I guess ?
Let me tell you now though I have to stop him from buying stuff for her now 😂

My hubby bought stuff he found interesting or stuff he could do with baby, never anything practical 🤣 e.g. he got puppets so he can play with baby. He got books from his childhood to read to baby, etc. All the other stuff I pop on an amazon baby wishlist and kept track of it there, but if there were anything to build, he did all that. I never got mad and saw it as a good thing cause I could just buy willingly. Yesterday, he was like, "Well done, you thought of everything for baby." They honestly don't know.

Maybe your hubby can get some stuff that interests him that he can (eventually) do with baby?

Your hubby sounds like a good man, Savannah. Wait til baby's here!😂 he'll have plenty to do.

My husband wasn’t interested in the baby shopping at all prior to her being born. Then he was researching best colic bottles and toys for her age after she was born. I think men become more exciting when the baby is actually here, before then all the nesting is normally just the women.

in our community

Is anyones husband/ partner actually stepping up post baby?

On Instagram your seeing all these post about husbands doing all the cooking, cleaning, food shop and looking after the other kids and allowing you to sleep, rest and focus on caring for the new baby..

Is this even possible. My husband helps but im still doing everything like usual. Im cooking all our meals, mowed the garden yesterday, hoover daily wash and hang the clothes outside. He is making our toddlers packed lunch for nursery and does the food shop but other than that everything is our usual. I havent had this waited on hand and food situation I see on socials 🤣😅😬

Boring.

Having to ask permission from my partner to go have a bath on a Sunday is insane. Yet he walks out the house when he likes to go smoke or plays on his laptop when he likes without a care in the world.

Told him to put the baby on the playmat so he can kick around his answer well all he does is cry and I hate the sound of him crying. It’s consuming…

Bear in mind football is on at 4:30pm and I’m gonna have to cook dinner and do bedtime routine.

Sorry just need a rant.

Would you be annoyed?

So both me and my husband had our friends round last night for a few drinks, I’ve been feeling unwell for a few days but just powered on like I do everytime I feel a bit rough.

Today I’ve woken up really unwell high fever, being sick, hot and cold shivers and a swollen throat. I was up with my son 2.5 years old from 6am and I let my husband lie in he came out around 930am and I then took myself back to bed as I’m crying feeling so unwell. All I can hear is him saying to my son go find mummy I’ve just looked in the room and he’s lying on the sofa falling asleep whilst my son sits with him just watching tv. I know my son is going to be a nightmare later as he’s not bothered to give my son a nap. But he’s just lying there either on his phone or closing his eyes.

I feel so unwell I haven’t got it in me to go in and just take my son and sort everything myself. When my husband is unwell I make sure I do everything and give him a break. He goes off to play golf every weekend for around 8 hours I’m always with my son and I don’t get a break . I do everything with my son but he makes out he’s amazing and does so much with him. I think he’s only ever taken him out on his own twice in his life I’m always there to organise and do everything

Advice on my situation 😩

I’m really struggling what to do I need advice or someone to talk to it’s killing me.

Couple months ago my baby dad went out he said he wouldn’t be back late and I told him not to do drugs as I don’t like it and we have a family anyway he didn’t come home till the next day as he was going drugs till silly o’clock in the morning. I had a discussion with him about it saying it upsets me etc saying sorry I won’t do it aged then another couple he did the exact same thing again

On Friday night he went out for a couple hours then came home at 12 in the morning on drugs yet again and somehow it’s all my fault it’s me doing wrong he doesn’t see the wrong in his actions and that he’s hurting me doing it.

Am I over reacting or have I a right ?

He doesn’t help me with our baby at all
Yesterday he spent all day in bed didn’t come see our daughter never mind me .

I put my all into been a mum don’t get help and just get walked all over I don’t know how much I can take i rlly love him and I don’t want a broken family but he’s hurting me doing this all the time l.

His doing but I’m gonna have to be the one who says sorry and try sort it out

😩😩

Potty training tips/advice needed please

My little boy will be 4 in march and upto now every time we try potty training he does amazing on the 1st day (maybe 1 or 2 accidents) but then the 2nd day its like he just doesnt understand/listen anymore and would rather wee on the floor than in his potty

Is he still not ready?

Early Morning Childcare

I have to leave for work at 6am but my son has to leave for nursery at 7:30am. I’m a single mum. I only need this service twice a week. Can you suggest what my options are? I’m just want to know what my options are in this situation. I am based in Gillingham Kent UK.