“Bad mum”

I had a Mother’s Day afternoon tea yesterday for myself, my mum and my MIL. MIL arrived and didn’t say anything to me, just walked in and sat down. My mum was fussing over my LG as she usually does whilst I was in and out sorting food, making a bottle, feeding the cat, but she was getting wriggly so I took her and put her on her play mat and when I walked away to get her some toys to play with she whinged a bit so I said “I’m not leaving you, I’m coming back” to which my MIL replied “she is leaving you, she’s a bad mum”. It was probably meant as a joke (maybe) but I’d never say anything like that, even as a joke. Probably being a bit over sensitive but I’m tired and constantly doubting if I even know what I’m doing. It’s bad enough thinking I’m a bad mum every day without somebody literally saying it. I spoke to my partner about it, both at the time and afterwards, and he’s said she was out of order… but not out of order to say anything to her but even if he did, she’d just deny it or say it was a joke. The worst part is she actually has no interest in my LG, she only wants to see her if her friends are round at her house and then she wants me to take baby round for her to show her off, who to me are just strangers. To add insult to injury, after she called me a bad mum, she said that her niece had a baby a month before me, and my LG “will probably catch her up when she’s ready” 🙄 Again, baring in mind, she’s seen my LG 3 times since she was born and she’s nearly 5 months old but has implied that she’s not developing as quickly as the other baby. I know babies develop at their own rate but my LG is rolling, trying to crawl, can sit up with very little support, can bring a spoon from a bowl to her mouth to feed herself (I’ve not given her any food, but we practiced with a spoon to see if she was showing any readiness to start weaning). I think she’s doing really well so I don’t think she needs to “catch up” 🙄
The cherry on top of the day was that we sat down to eat and she felt an appropriate topic to discuss was my partners upcoming colonoscopy and bowel prep 😂
I think the outcome and the 2 hours that she was here is that we won’t be seeing her again anytime soon, and I know that wouldn’t bother her in the slightest, which is quite sad when my LG is her first grandchild and she has no interest in her

That’s my little rant over

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She sounds like a right madam. MIL’s for you! I’m amicable with mine but she’s annoyed with me and rarely speaks to me as she was under the impression that when we had rhe baby she would he round all the time or looking after her 1:1 all the time when in reality i don’t need or want that help. She asks to see her every week and if we say no 2 weekends in a row, she stops speaking to us, they posted our birthday cards (they live 20 mins away) in protest to us having plans that didn’t include them. She used to make endless comments of “ah are you not doing this yet” “i think mummys wrong you’re not tired are you you want to see nana” i just ignore now and carry on my day. The fact you went to so much effort yesterday, honestly going forward i wouldn’t bother, then if she asks you why she’s not being invited to places you can say, well you think i’m a bad mum so surely you don’t want to be around me. They love to be negative for NO reason, it’s just how they’re wired it seems 🤣

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I'm sorry I couldn't finish reading past the sentence "she is leaving you, she is a bad mum".
I would've gone absolutely mental 😂
I don't think she should have the entitlement to say that, not even as a joke!
I'm sure you are a great mumma! The fact that you are doubting whether you are already shows you are!

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
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