How do I end this friendship
My best friend of 15 years and I are in similar stages of life and her behaviour has gotten increasingly erratic and triggering. I am about to have my first baby and she is struggling with postpartum from her second who was born last August. All the “normal” post partum depression symptoms I totally understand but she has also in my opinion made a lot of selfish choices recently.
She is constantly yelling and berating her husband and kids as well as flying off the handle at the tiniest things and it’s super triggering for me coming from a previous abusive relationship. She’s honestly being abusive to her family.
I feel like she always makes everything about herself and her reasoning has gotten soooo misconstrued. She acts only on her emotions and doesn’t care about anyone else’s. She never accepts any constructive criticism or advice even though she complains 24/7 about everything.
She says she hates being a mom and doesn’t want to be around her kids , hates her marriage, hates her job, and complains 24\7 and refuses to do anything to change. She also makes everything about herself including my baby shower we just had. She’s made rude comments to my spouse as well.
I don’t have many mom friends but at this point she is just not the type of person I want to be around because she is being so mean and wanting to bring everyone down with her. Also I am about to have my first baby and just want to focus on me.
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If you're willing to ghost her, tell her how you feel. If you lose her as a friend, thats no worse than ghosting her. But at least speaking up *might* help her realize something needs to change
Id tell her how I feel then cut contact. Even just to get it off your chest then block her before she comes back with a toxic response. You don't deserve that and don't need that kind of toxic behavior around you and your family. Wishing peace for you and future congratulations for you, husband and baby
Honestly if she won’t listen to reason then I’d just flat out stop responding or making effort. If she asks what’s up be like, “honestly how you’ve been acting lately is extremely triggering to me, I may need to step back for a bit” especially if you’ve tried speaking to her. Or brought up the bay shower and her speaking to your husband.
You have to understand how she is feeling but at the same time if she isn’t willing to help herself you shouldn’t have to fill yourself with anxiety because of it.
You don’t have to end it completely unless you want to.. but you are allowed to distance yourself no matter what.
I understand the feeling of wanting to ghost her! But before you dip I do feel like you need to have some kind of conversation just mom to mom. Postpartum can really take over your whole life if you let it. You don't have to keep her in your life, but she needs to know exactly how she's affecting the people around her. Hopefully it will help her make a change for the better for herself and her family. Good luck!
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