Partner struggles

Has anyone else's relationship with their partner struggled? My little ones sleep has gotten really bad so my partner sleeps in the spare room as hes up at 5 for work and I breast feed anyway. And then in the day he will do the babys dinner if I ask, or have him while I have a shower if I ask etc. But he just doesn't seem that interested. I feel like I'm the default parent and basically just have to do everything and carry the mental load while his life has barely changed. Weve discussed it a few times but nothings really changed. Basically I feel like our relationship is on the edge and I know its just because we're in the trenches a little at the moment with the baby. Not really sure the point of this post 😂 but just wondered if anyone had experienced similar?

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Same here sis. We actually spoke about this and I told him I feel he's doing passive parenting. Because he wants me to tell him what to do when I need help. And the fact that I have to tell him also just adds to my mental load so if I have to ask for it I already thought of it ygm.

I'd try to speak about it again. Men's brains are wired differently, I don't think they really understand the struggles of being the default parent

I feel like a parent to him most days. I ask for his input, I get "dunno, whatever you wanna do" or something like that and I struggle. Because I have to decide everything. Just once I'd like him to say, "we are having ... for dinner" or "we are going to do/go ... here today" it's like since our LO has been born i have to choose/decide everything. And don't get me started on sex, I don't remember the last time we had any x

Don't get me wrong, he's currently cleaning the living room floor, after cleaning the kitchen. He has to leave for work soon. And I've not asked him to do it. So, he does help a lot. I just wish he'd share the mental and emotional load. If that makes any sense x

I could have written this myself. My partner is a gamer, that’s fine, but not as much as if he lived alone. We’ve had so many talks about it, how I have to be his mother and ask him to do things all the time- even had the teenager grunt response a few times 🙄 it feels like a lot of work taking care of a man as well as a baby. He’s gotten slightly better the last few weeks- no gaming in the evening until the baby has gone to bed, hold the baby etc so that I can have a chance to do things here and there so I don’t end up feeling trapped. There’s still so much to work on but I totally get it’s still ‘early days’ in the long journey of parenting. Just tiring. But you’re definitely not alone, happy to chat if you need anyone to talk to 😊 x

First 2 years is really hard on relationships. I’m on baby number 2 now and do 99% of the work for both children. I don’t like generalising but I do think men just don’t get it. They’re never going to wake up and think about the million things that need to be done like a woman does. In my experience they always need to be told what to do 🫠

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