Independent play

Had our first ever parents evening for our 3 year old who started preschool in January and felt really disappointed to hear that he struggles to leave the adult to go play by himself in the outdoor space.
When we go to soft plays, it’s true that he never goes in by himself, he looks at me and says come on mummy and I say of course kid, let’s go, and this whole time I’ve been thinking it’s great that him and his mum have an amazing time together but now I feel like nursery are suggesting it’s holding him back, like he isn’t getting on as well as the other children there.

Anyone else have a child that always wants you to come get involved and play whenever you go anywhere? He just isn’t the kid who walks in and runs off to start playing, and I’ve never realised it’s a problem before now I just thought we were having great fun together 🙁

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I defo have a kid who pretty much always wants me to play with her and defo at a soft play. I wouldn't beat yourself up, it's good they have a strong attachment to you. Maybe nursery can help them to integrate or play more with others or alone. It won't be forever. Maybe role play it out with some toys about how fun it is to play by myself or with my friends?

Or ask why they aren't keen on playing without the adults at nursery?

thank you, think I’m feeling a bit tender about it because she made it sound like he goes in and just stands there looking lost most of the day which is really sad, then somehow the conversation turned into I should be playing with him less…??! but also I’ve come away with a great big list of things he can’t do and she didn’t tell me one positive thing that she thinks about him ☹️ will give it a few days then maybe enquire more

I think it takes a while for toddlers to settle when my girl was in the toddler room she was really attached to her key worker that I worried when she went into pre school room but she’s starting to play with the children a lot more now

Agree with Josie too, it's only been a few months, I'm sure with a bit more time they will get more confident and independent. I do think you can turn it back to them and ask how they are supporting him to encourage more independent play and play with others/ integrate into new friendship groups

I think he’s just settling in. If I take my daughter to soft play etc she wants me to play with her but at nursery she plays with the other children, she’s been going since she was 6 months though so is very settled, i’m sure your son will get there soon!
Until recently my daughter always had a ‘safe’ friend that she would want to play with, she’s only recently started branching out and playing with everyone.

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