Working mom with a SAH partner

Does anyone else feel guilty because of working while your (male) partner is the one who stays home with the baby? I know the feeling is flawed- my logical mind understands that at least one of us needs to work to provide for the family, and we are both fine with it being me, and in this case he is waiting for his green card and can’t legally work in the U.S. yet- but I can’t help but feel guilty for any extra amount of time I spend away from my son. I work full time, and I am away from my son during that time, but it feels like any social activities or anything else isn’t justified since I’m away from him most of the day as it is. No one’s making me feel guilty about it, it’s totally internal. My son also doesn’t seem to mind as long as he has attention from whoever is around lol. But I want to spend as much time as possible with my son while he is little; he’s growing up so fast!!! But I also want to be able to do social things sometimes, I feel like that’s also important. And I’m already away most of the day for work. Anyone else feel that guilt??

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Yes! I feel so jealous and then feel like I need to spend all of my non working time with him until I feel burned out and tell my husband I need a night off. It’s even more complicated because my husband is taking a night class plus plays in a basketball league so he’s out a lot of the evenings. I do try to make lots of time for activities. We have a membership to a play cafe, do walks with other moms and babies when weather permits, and I took most of this week off for his birthday. PM me if you want to talk to another mom who gets it

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I’m not personally in that situation but I very much feel for you and see where that would be a struggle for you! The fact that you and your partner have agreed to your situation and from your statement I would assume your son is well taken care of with your partner, it seems like y’all are doing what is best for him and the family. Feelings of guilt are valid but also realizing that he is happy and taken care of, can help you knowing he is doing fine and your sacrifice is justified. I’m a sahm single mom and can tell you my son (12 months) could care less when I leave ( he mostly stays with my parents but sometimes a trusted teenager who has him only 2-3 hours at a time). It’s not that he doesn’t love, care or not appreciate me, he’s just a baby and I have to remember I’m doing a good job for him to feel comfortable and safe with others to not care so much when I leave him. It sounds like he is doing great because you are a great mom!

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OMG I will be in this situation starting tomorrow and I’ve already cried a few times 😂😭

I’m mostly nervous that he won’t be as attentive as I am 🥺 and thaaaat hurts my feelings

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We’ve been doing this for about 8 months now and I’m still struggling with it. I haven’t figured out how to take time for myself without feeling significant guilt that I’m spending time away from my kids AND putting my husband back “on the clock.”

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If yall still giving your kids processed food, pls seek help

I understand not everybody can afford healthy ingredients all the time, but I’m seeing so many moms on social media giving they kids artificial cereals, coffee, frozen pancakes, velveetta Mac and cheese, hot Cheetos, kraft, the list goes on. I’m sorry but are yall not capable of cooking from scratch or ?? On top of that, if you still using canola and vegetable oil in 2026 you gotta stop. Am I the only one that notices this ???

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Sahm .. the dad role .

Hi!! I’m 2 months pp. and I really would like your opinion on this situation if you have a moment.
So I have always had a job before the baby, and my bd .. not really. But 2 weeks before he was born he scored a really good job and I was able to be a sahm. Which is what I wanted , and I’m unsure if it’s still what I want or if the situation just isn’t right.
At first he was a great help in the hospital as I had an emergency c section. I was in the hospital for about a week and for most of that time I was in bed .
But after that.. I’m lucky if he will watch the baby while I shower .and I mean that seriously.
I am the only one who changes diapers, only one who bathes , feeds or watched him in general. And of course he may be tired after work but it’s like he completely avoids any responsibility. Like he will take a hour coming home and stop by his friends house otw . He will sit down stairs for hours knowing I won’t go down there bc I’m uncomfy . So I have the baby then.
We have been out maybe 2-3 times sense I had him & he refused to push the stroller c change or anything. In fact we got to the mall and said he needed to split up and I had the baby.
I feel he only wants the baby when it’s for … attention? Like to post the baby on social media or if his family is here he will take him .

I just feel like on days he doesn’t have work the next morning he should be helping , and if he is up early before work while I’m still sleeping he should get the baby instead of scrolling on reels for 3 hours .

Honestly he has really ruined my new born phase with my son. Within the first week of us being home I had to full on switch to survival mode I would call it. He would complain if dinner wasn’t done or if the room was a mess , he would complain if the diaper caddy had no diapers which really makes no sense bc he didn’t even changed the diapers . It was just everything.
I’m just wondering if there is anything I could say to get some type of help out of him.
I tried reaching out to his mother but honestly his hole family is oblivious to his behaviour.

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Are you a homebody?

It’s funny cause I wfh, and spend a lot of time in my happy place. So to compensate sometimes I’ll have my husband fill me in on neighborhood gossip, blah blah. My oldest had a crush on a girl in our neighborhood a couple of years back and now my husband was noticing that that same girl has been over the boy next doors house frequently. I’m like when? I never see her over there 🥴 he’s like you never leave the house 😅 ok fair

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Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me “I shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?

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