Would this upset you…

Our baby never sleeps, so our current arrangement is I will feed her to sleep around 8-9pm and then when she wakes initially my husband will hold her in his arms until around 11pm-12am, then he puts her down and goes next door to the spare room to sleep for the night and I do the rest of the night alone (but obviously have been able to get a couple of hours head start on sleep while he’s been holding her)…

Today he has gone to watch the football with his friends and had several drinks and got home around 8pm… I fed her to sleep as normal and put her down and I heard him getting up to leave, when I asked where he was going he said next door, and when I was confused he said “I don’t trust myself to stay awake with her” implying he had drank too much and was using it as his excuse to get out of helping…

So not only have I solo parented all day, I now have to all night with no help at all, and then we are straight into the working week where it’s all on me…

I just feel SO ANGRY about it - if it was a one off thing or a special occasion it would be fine - but football feels like it’s on every other week and it’s not acceptable to me to drink enough where you are unable to support your struggling partner for the first couple of hours of the night?!

Do I have a right to be annoyed?????

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I can definitely understand why you'd feel annoyed, I guess it's all down to how often it happens, we all deserve a break however this in future needs to be communicated before he goes out, e.g. I'm letting my hair down tonight, so please don't rely on me, then you'd be able to slightly adjust your schedule to support this. Equally, I'd hope he'd do the same if you wanted to get out the house. I think you have a right to be annoyed, but I'd 100% rather my husband hold his hands up and say I don't trust myself, than risk baby's life for the sake of me getting less sleep for one night. At least he's honest and not making up some BS reason on why he can't help out x

I'd also add, is there any reason he needs to sleep in another room, is baby up numerous times throughout the night to the point he'd get not enough sleep? My husband always gets up to make the bottle or do the nappy change & then i stay awake to do the feed (same would work if I was EBF). Then on his days off, we'd take it in turns to do night feeds/early mornings x

This is my everyday, I have a 6 week old. I do all cooking, all cleaning, days with baby , nights with baby. I don’t think he’s even washed a single bottle :) he also goes to football straight after work and doesn’t get home until midnight so he’s out 8am - 12am and I’m home w the baby alone. It’s exhausting. Just talk to him & tell him how you feel. Maybe you can have a full day to yourself? On the weekend? Where you can just be you for a day and go out and do what you want? It’s fair for both parties then

I don’t feel like it 😂 it’s exhausting and I’d like him to help more but everhthing he does with the baby just makes me angry & I want him instantly back. I’d like him to help more in the house too but he will “clean the kitchen” but leave chopping boards out and pans on the stove?? I just hate him right now lol I could rant forever

Yeah it is really frustrating and you should be allowed to have free time & not be taken the piss out of like he didn’t need to drink that much?
Also try to enjoy it? People keep telling me that. Enjoy baby while he’s small but it’s so hard to do when you’re exhausted

It is frustrating but anger will not help you, may allah ease your night and make the baby sleep all not so you could rest❤️❤️❤️

You haven’t said how old your baby is but this arrangement sounds like it wasn’t going to be sustainable long term.
I agree I’d rather he admit to not being able to support due to having too much to drink. I can also see your side of things where you’re tired and anticipating the night time support.

I would definitely look into co-sleeping if you do want to get more sleep.

Is this the first time he's done this?

I meant is it the first time since he started taking the baby at night? If so, I'd give him a pass on this and let it go this once.

I'd also try to figure out a better sleeping arrangement with the baby if they're waking this often at 10 months old. Co-sleeping from the get-go, not starting at midnight, could help if baby needs consistent contact through the night.

Is your baby eating enough solids? Because if he does he shouldn’t wake up that much. I have a 10 mo as well and he sleeps all night long most nights. I used to have a baby that didn’t sleep well either but with solids he has enough calories during the day that he only wakes up once or twice now for comfort but I don’t need to feed him when that happens, only hold him

You should pm me. Waking 30x a night isn't "normal" and is usually food allergies, occasionally a different medical thing, but it's definitely not normal. I don't sell anything but i can take the time to help you trouble shoot and point you in the right direction

in our community

Relationship rant / advice? long post

I'm not sure if anyone can really give me advice here, but I'm gonna lay out what's gone on and how I'm feeling and other factors.

So my partner and I found out I was pregnant early on into the relationship (back in 2024), and at the start of this year we had a massive talk where I said I feel like it's got alot to do with the current distance and tension between us. It was something I was worried about initially.

Now by distance and tension, I'm on about the slow decline we have gone through. It started about my 3rd trimester, and him and I both agreed alot was to do with my mental health as someone with severe C-PTSD and a disability that stems from it. This is something I have been actively working on getting help for. We also agreed that he had faults too, and overall it became a bad cycle of us both feeling like the other wasn't doing enough, and negative emotions building up against eachother. Alot of it was to do with me feeling him start to decline In the ways he showed love. I could feel his positivity draining almost, and he would never talk about it. Always said his mental health wasn't the best and shut it down.

This was through postpartum, all of 2025, we finally discussed it at the start of 2026, but it was along the lines of "we can't carry on like this, and we both have felt clocked out of this relationship, but we don't want to end the relationship because we still love eachother and want the same things".
So we agreed to start actively communicating, trying to make changes because we want to get back to what we were.

But I can not stop stressing, and thinking about how much my other half brought up how he's got everything figured out for if we end things. He was very clear on saying that he had clocked out to the point of not hating the idea of co-parenting, and even started taking about us salvaging things after a break up, it was alot. Really confusing. And just felt like he was trying to end things right there. But when I asked him if that's what he wanted he told me he will never be the one to end the relationship...

Now, its been a couple months, he expressed his poor mental health, I advised he go see a therapist and even offered to help him with this process. I've picked up where I need to, I've started getting more help, recently I've taken on most of the housework after studies too. And he seems happier, keeps telling me things are better but now I'm the one feeling like it's never going to change. He still hasn't started the process of getting help after promising me he would, I told him its integral to this relationship. That I'm stepping out of my comfort zone time and time again for the sake of him, us and our son, and I expect the same from him. There's also little things I brought up that mattered to me that he just isn't doing, whereas everything he brought to me I have taken on board and apply daily.

I can't tell if it's the poorer side of my mental health being as negative as it always is, or if after the conversation and some other things he has told me, I've started to lose the want to mend things. Its gnawing at me, I feel like we have switched roles and I just don't know what to do. I'm waiting on therapy to get back to me with my appointment dates. I'm waiting on the consultation for medication, and I'm putting 110% into this relationship whilst I feel like he's doing less. And I know physical appearance isn't something that should matter so much, but I've been really looking after myself, putting in the effort not just for him but for me, yet I'm watching him let go of himself. Which yeah, mental illness does that to a person, but as I mentioned he's not doing anything to help himself. There is only so much I can do.

Most of me feels like it's my fault. That in trying to heal whilst in an active relationship and post-partum I've caused all of this. But a small part of me feels like that's an unfair take.

Weird feelings

I am now 2 and a half months PP, and I was just looking at my scar. It feels so surreal to me. I had to have an emergency C-Section after 20 hours of labor and an induction that worked too fast. It's so strange to me that this scar is on my body, that it's where my baby came out of. Everything was completely the opposite of my original birth plan, but I could not be more thankful that they caught the reason for my c-section when they did. That still doesnt change the... almost impostor syndrome I feel when I look at my body and my scar. I've changed so much, it's so strange to me

Sleep though the night

Any tips on how to encourage my 5 month old to sleep though the night

Wtf- husband edition

The past 2.5 months or so, I’ve been the primary night time (and daytime) caretaker of our 5 month old. I feed him formula before bed, then breast feed him on demand throughout the night. Before, we’d have shifts through the night in different beds so each of us could get sleep. My husband started sleeping in the same bed as us around that time and he’s moves aggressively in his sleep and snores. As you can imagine, I don’t get much sleep. The only time I get uninterrupted sleep is for 4-5 hours in the morning when the baby sitter gets here. Meanwhile my husband sleeps 6-7 hours each night, no problem.
Tonight, I told him I really needed alone time and sleep for my mental health. He agreed and offered to take the baby and try to put him to sleep.
Knowing our child, I told him some of the different things to try to get him calm or keep him calm. The quickest way being to get in a warm shower with him. He agreed.
So why did I have to listen to my baby crying for about 45 minutes??? I tried to let my husband figure things out but eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I got out of bed and went and asked if he put the baby in the shower and he said “no, that takes too much effort”.
WHAT??
I do bath time almost every day!! He has done bath time ONCE in the five months.
I asked for just a couple of hours to myself to sleep and he can’t do whatever it takes so baby isn’t crying so I can sleep??
I’m livid.
I ended up taking our son. He just fell asleep on the boob and, of course, my husband came and fell asleep too. Somehow I’m the only one awake after I asked for much needed sleep.
I know arguing won’t help but I’m so upset. I just needed to vent and maybe cry.

Bedsheets

Do you change your bedsheets after sex ? Our lil girl tends to sneak in our bed through the night so
I personally do
but just curious what others do ?

Rant

I love my partner to absolute bits but omg the snoring I could go insane, my baby was cluster feeding last night which meant I was up till 3 in morning with him I finally get to sleep baby wakes us both up at 6:30 so feed him by time had finished my partner was back asleep and snoring his bliddy head off woke the baby back up then finally settled him again only to me not being able to sleep kept waking partner up didn’t make difference ended up going downstairs which woken baby up again only for him to have another feed cause by this time it’d been 2 hours since the last so now currently almost 9am and I’m wide awake baby’s starting to get to sleep so looks like I’m surviving the day on 3 hours sleep yay and on a busy day 😕 little pic of the man in question and my lil bubba boy