Mental Breakdown

SOS I need advice. My son is a crazy person. For ref he is 5. He has 0 empathy and I know that's normal to a degree but it seems like more than normal.
My son was playing today and my friend made a comment about how our kids don't ever seem to get along. They are very different and that is true most of the time. I think they are both at fault. Her son kept trying to have time alone and my son kept ignoring his boundaries and following him. Or the kid came over several times saying my son had pushed or hurt him. My son is pretty big and oblivious of his surroundings (absolutely not an excuse) but he does sometimes accidentally bump into him and it's an issue. So they wound up leaving and he started playing with another group of friends. A girl his age and 2 older boys ages 9 &11. They kept telling on him to their mom's that he pinned down the one kid and choked him. Then he said the F word. Then they came back again and the 11 year old kept calling my son dirty and was having like a panic attack bc apparently my son kicked and punched him. We apologized and obviously left. I asked him in the car what the heck happened and he just kept saying "idk". Then, he has mentioned multiple times he was sad bc he wanted to go get ice cream (and I didn't take him to get a treat because of his behavior).
I am extremely sad, selfishly, because I can't have any friends. I don't feel like I can take my son out where other kids are playing because he is going to hurt them. I am concerned that he has adhd/impulse control issues but that is absolutely not an excuse for his behavior. He 100% knows better and still is mean.
This is not the first time we have had issues with him hurting other kids. In fact he hurt his little sister just a few weeks ago bc he was getting "frustrated with her" and I guess he didn't think walking away was a better option. I tried to drop him off at a day camp & he knew I'd be dropping and coming back to get him in a few hrs. He absolutely lost his mind when I went to leave. He was screaming. He cussed out the teacher and punched her in the chest when she tried to keep him from eloping outside in the snow without shoes on. I get that boys are more rough but I can't hover over him every time we leave the house. Not that's we are going to have anywhere to go soon when we have no friends left.
I took away TV indefinitely until we can figure out what exactly the issue is. I am hesitant to take away library programs for multiple reasons but I have taken away places where he free plays with others like the park and indoor play areas.
Idk if it's my parenting or something in his brain but I'm concerned enough that I called multiple therapy places to get him evaled. Do I need parenting classes or to be more strict? My husband wants to revert to how we were raised in the 90s but idk if that's the answer either. I just need someone to talk to 😭

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Money in Marriage

Hi, has anyone got an advice? My husband and me are not best with money. Basically, all my husbands wage at the moment goes to bills, rent, his petrol and some loans we took out. He has some little leftover for groceries, subscriptions and stuff. All my wage is for the whole months groceries and any other spendings like new furniture, trips, clothes, etc.
I also started a new business so I get money from there (from clients) but it's not too predictable, for now it's going to groceries only.

Usually it goes that we live off my wage for half a month or a little more, I feel comfort and freedom and then my husband kind of reassures me that we can spend more because he will also have some money left and in the end I often find myself at the checkout with an empty bank account calling him to send me money or put money on the spending card and it's embarrassing and frustratibg. It happens because either A) he doesn't think about me needing money throughout the day even though the shopping is all on me. And B) sometimes things come up for example he didn't realise he didn't pay a subscription yet, or this past week his business sent invoices too late so he lacked cashflow in his business account and couldn't pay himself, so we are broke these days even though he has around £2000 profit right now that he is owed.

Sometimes I really want something and he pays for it and then later on I find out that because of that he didn't pay some bill and then when we actually need something and I thought has, he tells me about the outstanding bill.

We tried budgeting together many times and it's all so straightforward on paper but in day to day life it's confusing

Are we teaching our daughters to hover in a public restroom?

I never sit on a public seat, I’ve always been taught to hover & if I accidentally splash on the seat, wipe up afterwards. I will be instilling this into my daughter but my stepdaughter who’s almost 10 always sits on a public seat and it gives me the ICK. When I ask if her mom never taught her she’s like no, which is not surprising as she never taught her how to properly wash up, shower & clean her hair. It’s so irritating.

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Do you ever think some of your mom friends are ungrateful

I have a friend who has both sets of grandparents nearby and they watch their kids full-time for free while she and her husband works. Since her kids were born. One set of grandparents said they need a break and want to go on a month long cruise and they’re actually mad at the grandparents for “leaving them hanging”. Like excuse me? You have had kids for 4 years you need a back up plan and show gratitude for 4 years of free babysitting.
Some of us out her with zero help and they have the audacity.

How to deal with toxic in-laws

So my parters family have been pretty awful since I gave birth, we had a decent relationship with his siblings but since we had our baby last year they have changed. Me and my parter have racked our brains trying to understand where this change has come from and the only person we can think this stems from is his mam. She is constantly on at us to take our little one out on her own but we do not trust her to have him. This is from experiences his siblings have told us about with their children. And to be honest she has been vile to me since me and my partner got together so why would we want her watching our little one 🤣. Despite all of this, I remain pleasant with her and the rest of the family. Although it can be awkward with her, I try so hard to put on a brave face so my little one can still have a relationship with his Grandma.

His family have decided to book a holiday secretly and we have just found out about it and we haven’t been invited. My partner is livid, more so because of our little one missing out. I do not know how to deal with it, because this is the cherry on top of years of being treated like an outsider.

My partner has said he is done, but we still have not actually been told about this holiday we found out by accident. Do we confront it before they go? Do we wait for them to tell us? I just feel like I have wasted so much time with them trying to fix our relationship and have a good relationship with his mam. To me it seems like there will never be a good relationship with them.

8 month old not eating properly

Hi lovely people, I just wanted to ask if any of you had experienced your LO in and around 8 months of age just going off food, my LO is
Only taking cold foods - she hasn’t any teeth yet, but it feels as if she’s been teething for months… she has also reduced down her milk.

Do you feel like your husband/ partner puts the same level of care into parenting, cooking, cleaning etc when it’s his “turn” in comparison to you?

I’m having such a hard time lately because it’s become so embarrassingly obvious that my husband just doesn’t care as much as I do. I feel like he compares himself to his own dad or other men in his life who walked out or do the absolute bare minimum so in his mind he’s excelling, and that watching his mom struggle as a single mom doing everything growing up has conditioned him to be almost blind to the labor of women like it’s just expected. I’ve talked to him about this multiple times and it will get better temporarily sometimes but not long at all