Mental Breakdown

SOS I need advice. My son is a crazy person. For ref he is 5. He has 0 empathy and I know that's normal to a degree but it seems like more than normal.
My son was playing today and my friend made a comment about how our kids don't ever seem to get along. They are very different and that is true most of the time. I think they are both at fault. Her son kept trying to have time alone and my son kept ignoring his boundaries and following him. Or the kid came over several times saying my son had pushed or hurt him. My son is pretty big and oblivious of his surroundings (absolutely not an excuse) but he does sometimes accidentally bump into him and it's an issue. So they wound up leaving and he started playing with another group of friends. A girl his age and 2 older boys ages 9 &11. They kept telling on him to their mom's that he pinned down the one kid and choked him. Then he said the F word. Then they came back again and the 11 year old kept calling my son dirty and was having like a panic attack bc apparently my son kicked and punched him. We apologized and obviously left. I asked him in the car what the heck happened and he just kept saying "idk". Then, he has mentioned multiple times he was sad bc he wanted to go get ice cream (and I didn't take him to get a treat because of his behavior).
I am extremely sad, selfishly, because I can't have any friends. I don't feel like I can take my son out where other kids are playing because he is going to hurt them. I am concerned that he has adhd/impulse control issues but that is absolutely not an excuse for his behavior. He 100% knows better and still is mean.
This is not the first time we have had issues with him hurting other kids. In fact he hurt his little sister just a few weeks ago bc he was getting "frustrated with her" and I guess he didn't think walking away was a better option. I tried to drop him off at a day camp & he knew I'd be dropping and coming back to get him in a few hrs. He absolutely lost his mind when I went to leave. He was screaming. He cussed out the teacher and punched her in the chest when she tried to keep him from eloping outside in the snow without shoes on. I get that boys are more rough but I can't hover over him every time we leave the house. Not that's we are going to have anywhere to go soon when we have no friends left.
I took away TV indefinitely until we can figure out what exactly the issue is. I am hesitant to take away library programs for multiple reasons but I have taken away places where he free plays with others like the park and indoor play areas.
Idk if it's my parenting or something in his brain but I'm concerned enough that I called multiple therapy places to get him evaled. Do I need parenting classes or to be more strict? My husband wants to revert to how we were raised in the 90s but idk if that's the answer either. I just need someone to talk to 😭

in our community

C section

My partner got kicked out the room while I was being stitched up during my emergency c section and showed his mum our baby boy before I could even look at him without being drugged up. He’s called me childish for being hurt by this. He said he was crying and that’s why. But wouldn’t your first thought be if I’m okay not to FaceTime ur mum while I’m still in theatre. Was being the first one to hold him not enough? Thoughts?

Do you like your husband family?

I guess what i mean is do you have to like them? I dont, i dont like my MIL and i really dont like my SIL ( i do like my Father in law and his new wife)

If you dont like them, is it acceptable to tell your husband.?

Baby daddy issues

My partner and I values do not align at all. while he’s a good father and is a nice guy . he’s also downright lazy and cheap and I come home working a full-time job to a messy house and I’m just having to do everything. I’m exhausted and while I love my baby more than anything in the world and she’s literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I sometimes wonder if I had her with the right person. Anyone ever feel this way? Any advice? He also complains that I’m always angry or frustrated well now you know why.

London mums – how much do you pay on top of the 30 funded hours for nusery?

Just curious what other London parents are paying. I want to understand what the norm is - Not sure if I’m being charged too much.

If your child gets the 30 funded hours and attends nursery around 3 full days a week, roughly how much do you still pay per month for extras/consumables such as meals and activities?

Would love to compare as it seems to vary so much between nurseries! Feel free to comment what your fee covers too.

Would you get a divorce or stay?

I’m posting anonymously because I’m really struggling and could use some perspective from other moms who have been through divorce or a difficult marriage.

I have a young daughter who’s 18 months old, and I’ve reached a point where I’m seriously considering divorce. This isn’t something I ever imagined for myself, especially with a baby, and I feel incredibly conflicted.

We’ve been married for 7 years. There have been things in my marriage that have made it very difficult for me to trust my husband. There has been significant financial secrecy, including a large amount of debt/losses ($200k) that I wasn’t aware of. Worst of all he claims he lost it trading (gambling). Our finances have largely been separate (which is what I wanted). So neither of us have access to each other’s accounts but I’m the saver in the family. He currently pays the mortgage and household bills. I pay for everything else. I’m now worried about what could happen to my savings and whether I could potentially become responsible for debts I didn’t know about.

We also had an agreement to both contribute to our daughter’s savings account that I opened for her future since we both work full time (he works 2 full time jobs in IT, so he makes more than double than I do). Both of us work from home. He stopped contributing as of July because he opened a Trump account for her which I have access to but he hasn’t been contributing there either.

There have also been incidents of verbal abuse from both sides to be fair. He called me horrible things and there was an incident where he made a fist-like gesture toward me while holding our daughter because I made a comment about him after he was speaking with his family (an ongoing issue: I don’t have a relationship with his family. His own brother who lives 20 minutes away from us, didn’t evn want to come to her first birthday because of pettiness). I have video evidence of some of the verbal abuse and other concerning behavior from our doorbell camera.

I am her primary caregiver. I’m with her every day, handle the majority of her care, and have been the consistent parent in her day-to-day life. One of my biggest fears is what divorce and custody could look like for her. I want to protect her, but I also don’t want to make a decision based solely on fear. We live in Colorado.

I’ve already spoken with three family-law attorneys, and all three recommended that I seriously consider divorce based on what I’ve told them. But hearing that doesn’t make the decision emotionally easier. I keep thinking about her being so young, the possibility of shared custody, our house, finances, and what life would actually look like afterward.

Part of me feels like I already know that I can’t continue living this way.

We don’t share the same bed, sleep with one another, he’s always gaming (annoys me so much) while working and when our daughter goes to bed or is just staring at his phone, even when he’s watching her when he’s done with work. We bicker a lot even in front of our daughter at times.

We recently went on vacation together which was a disaster, he snores and I couldn’t sleep so I asked him to sleep elsewhere he told me to shut the f up, I did the same to him. He even slammed my suitcase on the hotel room floor super close to our daughter.

Another part of me is terrified of blowing up my daughter’s family and regretting it.

For moms who have gone through divorce with a young child, especially when there was financial secrecy, emotional/verbal abuse, or concerns about custody: how did you know it was time to leave? What do you wish you had known before filing? And what helped you get through the guilt and fear of making such a huge decision?

I’ve offered to speak to him, he starts recording me because he claims all I do is insult him. I don’t feel comfortable being recorded.

I genuinely want honest experiences and perspective from moms who have been in a similar position. ❤️

Bd problem

Hello ladies🙄what are we doing to cope with a BD who doesn’t want to be around his new born and prioritizes non priority activities. Also my bd likes to play victim when I call him out on shit that are valid reasons to be upset. As in not wanting to b around his new born son and spending more time with him…. (No we are not together and no there is no bad blood between us.) I need a distraction😭 and honestly I wish he wouldn’t b around at all than in and out 😣