Husband things it's only HIS money.

You both decided to be parents not just you so he needs to recognise the value you are bringing to the relationship by raising the children and taking care of the household.
This needs to be compensated fairly, otherwise you should withdraw your work (cleaning, cooking etc) from the table and see how fair he think that is.
What is wrong with men!

You are staying home and taking care of the children and household which is plenty off work. He knows that because I’m sure he would never want to reverse the roles. Being a SAHM is exhausting and has no break, you don’t get to leave work and go home, it’s 24/7. He knows you don’t have any other finances and as a married couple, yes, finances should be shared. If you went to work, he would have to pay for daycare or a nanny anyway and that costs plenty of money so there’s no reason for him to act like that unless he wants to have full control. Not saying you should go on shopping sprees but you absolutely deserve access to finances. He’s being controlling.

Honestly, I’d get a job. Even if you don’t get an office job and you clean houses or boutiques a few days a week to earn your own.
That’s so controlling and it’s not right. Did you guys have a talk about how money would be used once you became a SAHM? If my husband did this to me, I would talk with him about loosening the reigns and if that didn’t work I’d leave for a while, visit my mum or something.

My man knows he would have to work with or without us so why is supporting ur family and loved ones so bad is how I see it. When I ask him for things it’s ofc babe unless we are so tight we can’t make bills, he dosent give me a limit on what he gives me or how he supports us until it’s needed financially and that pretty rare. I’m going to start cleaning houses on weekends and start doordashing when I can to help contribute but that’s all I can do and if they can’t appreciate that we are raising the future and need support through that not only for our child but also for our self’s because your not being selfish or anything wanting more for hobbies and enjoying things we have to be happy to make others happy and no that’s not his responsibility but he could make u feel like ur supported more and less controlled is how I’m seeing it!

this is hard,
my partner and i went back and forth about money things to the point where we decided that if we want things we keep £100 or so in our own accounts and that the rest is in a joint account. as long as we don’t have any huge £1000 purchases for flat screens or holidays then it’s fine. i would try have a conversation about instead of him “giving you money” for stuff which is a bit annoying reframing it as there’s £1000 in the joint account for groceries and any pleasures for you. that way if money roles over to the next month great, if not then you’ve done something for you or the kids.
you are married, you’re not trying to steal his money, you’re trying to enjoy motherhood. try speak to him regarding this idea and see if he has a reasonable response.

Also, His money(or anything else) is no longer His. He married you and you’re a family raising children together so it becomes Ours. I will never understand how men want women to stay at home, clean, cook, and take care of the children but also don’t want to be providers for their family. You’re his wife and those are his children, it’s not an act of charity and you’re not a servant or maid. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that, no it’s not okay.

I personally think you’re sleeping with your enemy 🤷🏽‍♀️. This is financial abuse👀😬. It’s his money is crazy to say given your sacrifice. You don’t have access to your husband funds or any funds period. It’s not that you’re not enough. It’s a him problem. He wants to control you. He is controlling you. You should be authorized to access “his” account. Discussion on big purchases are reasonable but so is updating wardrobes..

Start charging him daycare cost….

Nah but for real yall need to sit down and learn to budget together giving each other an allowance. Otherwise y’all might end up having to figure out child support costs later…

I have a good bank that allows us to have a bunch of open accounts. Each paycheck we spread the check into different accounts ie, bills, family spending(grocery), family dining out, kids savings(to pay for toys, shoes or clothes), vacation savings, his spending, my spending, his savings, my savings. How much we divy can change month by month.

Note it took us several months to figure out a good true budget. We kept having to increase the grocery budget bc it just wasn’t realistic for us.

Personally I don’t find this normal. My husband covers everything then gives me X amount to spend on myself or outings with my daughter etc. he sounds resentful that he is a provider and a bit of a tight arse

“His opinion is that he works and it is HIS money”

Oh hellllll no! 😤 Girl you are being financially abused. This shit is 100% NOT NORMAL!

You’re married. You’re meant to be a team! 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sounds like you need to divorce him and take back what is owed to you. This is NOT a good man. Men who think like this never change. He sees no value in you being a SAHM. Let him find out the hard way just how much money you were actually saving him by taking your half!

Having a parent stay at home benefits everyone. Tell him to get over himself or I would go back to work.

Joint decision = joint account. Him having that much control is not fair.

Me and my partner do not control each other's spending but discuss big purchases and occassionaly speak up if we feel the other has spent a little too much/or we're just generally questioning why money is low

We both end up with about £100 each that we can spend on ourselves. He works full time and me part tine so I actually think £100 on yourself seems pretty fair.

We have a spreadsheet so we see our overall spends. Sounds super boring but we both know where all our money is going , how much things cost and budget accordingly .