MIL Making herself too comfortable

Ok, so let me start by saying I get on well with my MIL, my husband’s folks are great and so supportive, we’re lucky!!
When I had my first and went back to work, they looked after our daughter on a Friday and it ended up working out that they’d come to our house and look after her here (again very kind). We had our second who is now 6months and they still cone every Friday even though they don’t need to, to see their grandkids.

My husband has arranged to take me away for my birthday and instead of taking the girls to thier house (like they’ve done with our oldest in the past), they’re planning on staying here at our house, while we’re away.

Is it just me or is the odd??? I’m feeling like my MIL is making herself just alittle too comfortable here at our house and I don’t know how to bring this up with my husband or my MIL as for my own sanity I need her to back off, i need boundaries, I need my space.

Any suggestions? Xx

in our community

Stubborn husband

Hi! I’m a new mum to a 5 week old baby boy and there is zero routine!
My husband is so good at helping me despite being at work full time. He still does at-least 50% of the housework and cooking and gets up once in the night to feed the baby.
I do the other 50% and then look after the baby during the day and do all bar the 1 night feed.
Whenever I get overwhelmed my husband steps in and will take the baby - however, whenever he’s clearly overwhelmed he will not give me the baby!
Last night for example, the baby woke up at 4:30, my husband got him back to sleep, 35 mins later he woke up, my husband insisted it was his turn so went to put him back to bed, he got him back to sleep at 6, put the baby back in bed and he started to wake up straight away - each time he came back in the room I could just tell he was getting more stressed out but he would not take my offer to swap, despite the fact he needed to be up and getting ready for work by 7:30 and had been up settling him for over 2 hours.
I think he just wants to do an amazing job, which is lovely, but how do i make sure he’s willing to accept my help? Did anyone else’s husband/partner react to having a newborn like this?
He massively struggles with change and has dealt with depression previously so I worry about how having a newborn who is so unpredictable is effecting him.
Tia x

Is there a trick to eating your food without your toddler trying to steal it?

I swear, I’d enjoy hanging out with my toddler more if I wasn’t always starving and waiting for her to have a nap before I can eat in peace 😅 obviously it’d be ideal if I made a lunch we could share, but sometimes life doesn’t go that way! For example, today I had leftover fajitas with spicy wraps. I couldn’t even give her a wrap with some guacamole because the wraps had chili in them. I ended up crouching behind the kitchen counter and shoving one in my mouth so I could cope with the next hour before naptime 😆

Is there an easier way, or is this just my life now?

Advice? Am I overreacting?

My husband and I have been going through a lot lately even before having our baby. And now thinking about it I don’t think we were ever compatible. He’s the kind of person that will stay silent during chaos and I am not like that, I would rather talk it through to solve the issue. We have been having a lot of fights lately. And recently, we had another fight and he called the police on me and I got arrested. (Mind you I had never called the cops on him and never was I willing to.) I was willing to forgive him after I came home then found out that he was playing video games with his friends the day and night of my arrest. I felt hurt and betrayed. He never checked up on me after I got arrested and was cold when I reached out. I asked for a divorce. We have a baby together and I feel like a bad mom because I promised myself that I will raise my baby in a 2 parents household and married. I feel so sad that I am doing this to my baby but at the same time I am even more sad that my husband betrayed me like this. We could’ve solved our differences at home no matter what I did I thought. He takes 2 to have problems and solve. I see no effort, and care from his side. He scares me because he is too quick to call the cops. When I got out and I told him that I didn’t like that and he said he won’t do it again but what hurts the most is when I found out that he was playing video games the night of my arrest I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. Because not only did he never checked up on me when I got arrested and was cold when I reached out but he also showed no empathy. I don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting?? He tried to speak to me but i feel like it’s fake. I am deeply hurt and mad. I kind of wanted to act revengeful towards him for not caring when I was in jail by asking for a divorce. But now thinking about it I don’t even think he cares. Am I losing too for asking for a divorce?? And I am sort of scared to start over too with a baby. Please feel free to tell me anything. I just feel embarrassed and ashamed to tell my close ones.

Starting food

My baby is going to be 6 months on the first of April any tips on how to start weening

Husband things it's only HIS money.

Hello. I have one question. I am SAHM and my husband works earning around £4000 a month after tax. He gives me £600 every month to cover groceries and household items which normaly cost around £500 or £550. We have two children aged 5 years and 10 months. So nothing much left for my personal spending without me going back to him and asking him for more money, which is most of the time met with lots of questions and me feeling like a child asking a parent for pocket money. Like I need to be scared to buy anything without him judging me. I do not have access to his bank account and therefore to any family funds what we hold. So I am just asking if this is a normal standard situation for SAHMs or should I demand joint access to his accounts and equal right to spend? Obviouly with common sense. Every big purchase would need to be discussed. But me for example wanting to buy new clothes or in need of personal items without me going to him asking for "permission". What should I do? His opinion is that he works and it is his money. So what about me? Am I not doing enough don't deserve to feel like an equal partner? Don't I have any rights? How are you handling finances as SAHM ?

When did you know…?

When did you know you were done with your marriage?
It feels like a never ending cycle of me just ending up totally fed up and touched out. There’s no infidelity, no big dramas, just constantly being and feeling misunderstood and misheard. He is a good person, but he is not a great “match” for me as a husband I feel. No matter how many times I explain to him to stop being defensive, to just hear me out and not jump to assuming what I mean instead of hearing what I say I mean… he just doesn’t get it. Then a big argument, then we don’t talk and then he just apologises one random night and admits he’s wrong and wonders why I don’t care to hear it. I just feel exhausted with this, I don’t have the energy or the time to put in trying to explain emotional intelligence to a grown human being you know?
He is kind and gentle, and for a fiery person like myself he was what I needed for a long time. Since having our daughter I have been a much calmer, optimistic and kinder person in general. But I have also become less patient and tolerant for idiots and their bullshit behaviour. On top of struggling with libido postpartum I have less sexual attraction to him because of the way he goes about these things. He asks stupid questions, doesn’t understand how much I carry mentally. We’ve talked about therapy before, he is on board but I almost can’t even be bothered for it? I just don’t see the point when I don’t have the patience for the same conversations over and over again. Will therapy help us? Or am I too far done in this marriage? I don’t even know what life looks like outside of him, we’ve been together for 11.5 years. He’s a good father, our daughter loves him but I fear that the standards he unknowingly sets here is what she will settle for in a man and I just want so much more for my girl. I don’t want her to grow up with a numb mother, one who is just forever disappointed.
Is this what other women experience before they tap out? I am exhausted honestly. 🫩