Is he in the wrong here or am I?

Their dad wants to see his kids. He seems to try his best to pay to you and informed beforehand about the changes and he has a clear plan for that too. Your partner is definitely in the wrong here.

I always try to think what would the kids want and I leave it to them also, 9 times out of 10 they want to go see him

The relationship is most important. He’s being communicative, your bf is definitely wrong

I sort of understand the logic of “if he can’t afford this then he can’t afford to have them” thing, if he means like activities, food etc, but I do think he’s still wrong, sounds like Dad is on top of things money wise so I’m sure he has planned/budgeted for that accordingly. I hope he doesn’t just mean “he can’t pay so he can’t have them”, because that implies he’s buying time with them. I think you’re completely right with what you’ve said! And if Dad is paying a little less one week so he can still afford to have time with his kids and do things with them, then that is definitely more important than receiving the total amount all at once! Xxx

It would be one thing if your ex was intentionally denying you money, then what your bf is saying could be justified. It sounds like your ex is trying to do all he can, and if that’s the case your bf is being very unfair.

He told me to tell him if he cant pay then he cant have them and im not doing that. The kids adore their dad n I fought so hard to protect them all the way through so they think no bad of him and kept everything seperate. I believe he is struggling he had the same job for 12 years and good money and he left it to go to another self employed job n he admitted it eas a mistake so his going back to a company in a couple of weeks n then his pay will steady back out again. Id prefer the kids had a nice time and he focused on them for the week he has them and everything else can wait.

Their dad mentioned it to u a little in advance and already has a payment plan in mind how he’d make it up to u which is awesome it means he’s thought it thru and I do think child maintenance is different than visitation and it shouldn’t be taken out on the kids just bc he couldn’t make this months payment all at once . I know you’ve been with ur partner a long time but it’s not his decision what you do with the kids .

Honestly, I don’t think this is any of your partner’s business. If you are happy to accommodate your ex, that’s up to you. Like you say, his time with the kids is a separate issue and shouldn’t be dependent on his ability to pay. He’s not renting his own children. And denying them time with their dad over half term is just punishing the kids. Your partner needs to back off or fuck off.

I'm side eyeing your partner HARD. 1. The child support you receive is not his business? Him wanting to be a present father shouldn't be dependent on how much maintenance he's paying.
2. What's up with the control? Why would he ever feel it's anyone's place to keep the kids away from their own dad. So weird.

Your communication sounds great, bio dad has been consistent, and he wants to be with his children. Partners out of line