I’m unhappy with the way my partner acts with our son. So before we had kids he was the most chilled, fun loving person & I thought what a breath of fresh air compared to my ex who was an abusive narcissist!
However since we’ve bought a house and had our son (he’s 4) it’s like he can’t handle parenting.
His fuse has become short & the last few months he just seems to lose his temper at our son & me over the smallest things. I understand kids are frustrating and we all shout at times but he screams in his face and it really upsets our son & honestly it makes me so sad that he gets so angry over trivial things, often I have to step in & take over cos I’m worried he might smack him or something.
I’m a SAHM and so I’m with my son every day yet I can control myself. I’m more laid back (he’s my 2nd child) maybe cos I’ve been here before. I feel maybe as he was brought up with an Asian father who was quite strict it’s given him high expectations of expected behaviour?
I have spoken to him about how I’m not happy with it & that he should walk away but he just gets defensive and throws his dummy out the pram!
What’s your partner like with discipline? Do they shout and do you ever disagree with the way they are?
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My partner has a short fuse too but I don't totally blame him, it was his upbringing. I'm slightly better at regulating myself but don't get me wrong we both struggle sometimes and emotions do get the best of us. Our son does get the brunt of that sometimes. Instead we both work together to work on our techniques and agree on how we would like to parent or deal with particular situations. We use a lot of online resources and I send alternative ways to consider child development to my husband to help him look at little changes he could try. To be honest he wants to change and he wants a positive relationship with his child so he does attempt them. He doesn't get it 100% and sometimes asks me for feedback or instructions on what to do but the fact he's trying means a lot and means he's willing to put in work. Have you tried explaining things from a different perspective such as explaining how a 4 year old might feel when someone screams at them. Or what fear responses actually do to a child's nervous system etc