Cancelling Easter…

So my step son (11) lives with us full time we’ve started with an issue of him stealing little stuff from school, taking his brothers clothes from his mums here without anyone knowing ect but now
He’s also got the habit of taking chocolate and crisps out the kitchen to the point of he’s eating all my 1 year olds snacks like the 6month+ wafers and then he’s got no snacks. I’m buying loads of stuff to last us the month and he’s going through them within less then a week 🫠 (he never gets told no to snacks either unless it’s just before a meal then he gets told to wait until after hes ate)
He has now gone through all the chocolate we hid for Easter that was also his two little brothers and he’s gone through the stuff my mum brought round for them. So now iv got just over a week with hardly any money to try and get all the Easter stuff back. We’ve sat and spoke about it and why he feels like need to just take and we get a “i don’t know” or “it’s just snacks”

My thing is should I re buy him Easter stuff or leave it as a “you’ve already had you Easter early behind our backs” he’s not missing out completely because he has Easter at his mums but I feel like there’s nothing more we can do other then put locks on cabinets so he can’t get in them but that’s just stopping him from getting to the thing he wants not necessarily him learning 🤷🏻‍♀️
My partners just in that “can’t be arsed” “just replace it” where we have 1 child together and 2 step children and a baby on the way so just constantly going out and replacing stuff really isn’t happening ☹️ he’s agreeing with not giving him anything for Easter but I feel guilty about it but he has teqnically had his Easter + more…

We have also spoken to his mum about it and she just says she has locks on the doors and she did it as a kid and laughs about it which just feels like shes validating what he’s doing.

Sorry for the rant just wanted to see other people opinions and views as I feel so guilty to cancel Easter for him but at the same time we don’t have the money to re buy everything he’s gone through 🫠

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I wouldn’t replace them for him, stealing his own is one thing but stealing from the siblings shouldn’t be enabled by having his own replaced

I’m sorry your going through this, it sounds so stressful 😥

You have a partner problem too, he need to parent!
The parenting coach says fill a daily jar of snacks and that's it or there are consequences.
I'd try that!
Also no easter treats and you've ruined it for your siblings, and get him to pick his own consequences for that x

I feel like he needs to learn that actions have consequences. Cancelling Easter seems harsh but yeah he had his Easter egg already and the consequence is he is not having another one. Kids like to push their boundaries and see what they can get away with.

I more concerned about why he’s doing the behaviour and what’s behind it. How is he at school? I assume you and your partner have been together a while if you have a baby already. Does your oh spend 1-1 time with him?

If there’s no consequences for him doing the wrong thing then he will never learn it’s the wrong thing because you just bail him out of his bad behaviour.

I would replace the other kids Easter things but not his as he’s already had it. If he feels crappy on Easter because his siblings have stuff and he doesn’t then that’s his fault.

He’s 11 so he’s old enough to understand that you don’t take other peoples things.

Going forward I would have a separate place for him that are snacks for him and if he eats them all before the next time they’re replaced that’s on him and you won’t get more for him and he can’t have any from his siblings unless they choose to share.

I would always give him the option of fruit/healthy snacks if he wants them.

I’d lock away other peoples snacks so he doesn’t have access and he can’t steal them.

You're not cancelling Easter if you don't buy him more eggs, it's just a natural consequence of him having eaten them already and he's old enough to handle that. He'll still be welcome to join in with any other things you do for Easter (roast, walk etc). Just in case framing it that way makes you feel less grinchy!

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