Managing frustration

Hi everyone, I’m not sure exactly what I am trying to get out of this but lately I feel so frustrated with being SAHM. I don’t know if it’s because my MIL was her for 10 days and I had been planning my 1 year olds birthday party before that and now I am getting ready for my dad to come for a week. I love my baby so much but sometimes I feel drained to play with her, then I get in my head that I am a bad mom and I should be doing more. I try not to put the television on but it gets too quiet, so I put some music or a show. I have tried earphone but I think it makes overstimulated when I am focusing on baby girl and whatever audiobook I am listening to. It also doesn’t help that she is teething and has been waking up more in the middle of the night and short naps and just fussy in general. My partner helps but he has been taking care of getting the lawn and gardens ready for spring so it makes getting away for a couple hours on the weekend. Not to mention I also have guilt about it. Again I’m not sure what I wanted to get out of this. Maybe someone can help me work through or some advice? Maybe I am overstimulated? How do I work through it?

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I have felt overwhelmed when my baby is teething and I have felt resentment towards my husband for knowing when to take a break and ask for it. I have learned that I need to tell my husband when I need a break. Especially when my baby is teething and all she wants is mom. I have learned that I need to be there for her but I also need to take care of me. I am sorry you are struggling with all those feelings. It is good that you can recognize something is not ok. That is very brave of you! Maybe talking to your partner on what you need help with to divide the load so it can help you feel less stressed or overwhelmed.

I totally understand. That is something that I keep working on everyday. My psychologist suggested I make a list of what I do in the day so that I can see how much Ive done and take a break. That has helped me a lot. I am the oldest in my family and have always been used to being the one fixing everyone's life and staying strong for everyone. But I have learned that I am not super human and it is important to take a break. If you ever need anything Im here, 😊.

Yeah hun gotta learn to recognise when you are starting to get overwhelmed/stimulated and ask for the help but also know that break is good for you, you need it, it’ll make you a better mum and to not feel guilty. I have lots of moments when he was a baby where I was starting to get stimulated so I ask him to take baby for a couple hrs while I duck out- I go see a friend or go to the beach or invite a friend out to dinner/drinks or I simply go to hers w a 8 pack of cruisers and we do karaoke and face masks and movie or whatever- her hubby is upstairs w the baby so she’s getting a break too when I come over. I put my all into the time baby is w me but also take time off away from baby and that’s for me, I do whatever it is I need to fill my cup and feel better. I started Pilates and Zumba at 4m pp partly for my fitness partly as an excuse to get out consistently weekly.
When I drive alone in the car twice a week I blast my music up thumping- something I can’t do w the baby in the car

You are totally overstimulated! You have a one year old. Birthday parties are a lot. Having a MIL stay with you is a whole thing. Your husband has been out in the yard, which is great, but you need support back in the house. Sometimes, just bring able to say "it makes sense that I'm stressed/frustrated. There have been a lot of stressful things going on in my life," can make a big difference to how you treat yourself & how you feel about it. You're a human being experiencing stress from stressful situations. If there are still outside tasks to be done, maybe ask your husband to trade for an hour or two. Also try planning some fun into your work. Build in family lemonade breaks after the mowing or gardening is dome. Let your husband know you want to make dinner together instead of on your own on Saturday. Have family tickle time before or after baby's bath. Do some dot marker Easter eggs! Think about ways the time with your dad can be more relaxing than with your MIL. Keep working and you'll get through it. 🙂

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