Unacceptable comments

Feeling very frustrated and angry at my partners comments. For context, we both work full time but I do 100% of the cooking and taking care of the household. He only helps assist with school pickups on the days I’m in the office. I ensure ALL of his food is prepped throughout the week which involves lots of batch cooking and I also cook fresh meals for dinner on the days I’m working at home. Keeping in mind he has never cooked for me or even heated up pre cooked food in the fridge for me, I come home from working in the office and there will be stacks of dishes even if he’s been at home on his day off.

This morning I have had terrible period cramps and he saw me multiple times rocking back and forth and in different positions trying to calm my cramps. It’s Sunday and usually he’d be working but he has the day off. We have come home from being out with the kids and he has asked me why I haven’t thought to cook for him.

I grew up in a home where Sunday dinners were cooked fresh and you spend time as a family, but he’s always working Sundays, only eats meal prep on that day and also he does not like me to cook when he is home. So today is no different, I have already pre cooked pasta bake, chicken, rice and potatoes and burgers in the fridge so there is plenty for the kids and him to eat.

He just told me that this is the reason why men (specifically referred to the man that his mother is dating who has a wife that he is cheating on but dating his mum for the benefits of her cooking and taking care of him). He referred to this man and said this is why men cheat, because the woman at home can’t be bothered but there’s other women out there that will do so much for them.

I am FURIOUS. I get no compassion when I have cramps and still expected to do everything. He doesn’t ever cook for me. It’s always what I should be doing for him!

in our community

Is my husband thick or an *rse

I have to rant 😭
We have been together for years but I feel like since we had a baby things have taken a really awful turn, or maybe it was always like this but now having a baby has highlighted things. Is it just me that sees it?
I’ll try and bullet point or it will be a essay
-I’m expected to do all the night wakes even though I also work (granted I only work 3days but they are long days and need some mental clarity for my job)
- If I say I would like a lay in it’s “wow you only work 3 days” “you lay in everyday your not at work” Yes I do try and lay in if little one is laying in (it’s usually because she’s been up most the night)
- he walked out on mutiple jobs when she was born “because it wasn’t his dream job/wasn’t happy” which ment I had to go back to work when she was really little and put a massive financial strain on us the last year, draining all my savings I saved for maternity leave
- He organises nights out/meals out with friends and expects me to stay home or go and be taxi, He’s even asked me to pick him up saying just put her in the car and pick me up in middle of the night, most the time now he suddenly tries to stay over at friends houses without even mentioning it before hand meaning me being left all night to have baby
Yet if I even go out for couple hours I constantly get asked when I’m back how long I will be even though I always leave a clear plan of what’s happening and when I’ll be home
- he can “have a night out and stay out all night as I go Zumba for an hour every week “😅
- If he’s “looking after her” while I’m doing chores or cooking he just puts the tv on and doesn’t watch her he’s either playing on his phone or games and now she’s walking/crawling I’m constantly shouting saying can you actually watch her, and I have said multiple times tv is a last resort for us as I want to encourage independent play or playing with us
- he makes horrible little comments like imagine doing that as a single parent or I feel like your going to divorce me which makes me think he knows he’s being terrible?
- He’ll try to put off feeding her dinner because he “doesn’t want to clean her up or the mess”
- Doesn’t do bed time as playing his games or watching tv and if I just ask he gets super pissed and just says give her your boob (she was breast fed but now I only breast feed in the night to keep nights easier)
- I also said about working extra Saturdays as these are my busiest work days (hairdresser) as currently just do every other and he flat out said “no because then I’ll have to have her every Saturday” “what’s our family time” yet we spend most Saturdays with his friends anyways or I’m home with the baby because he’s with his friends

I just feel like he isn’t interested in her or me basically and hes just being really lazy with parenting, I’m so mentally drained from explaining how to do basic stuff and doing everything it’s now starting to take its toll on me as a parent.
I try to stop doing everything but it always comes back on me because it just doesn’t get done even when I say can you do this for me and I then have to do it because it needs doing or I’m fed up of asking thousand times
Rant over 😭

Anyone else not enjoying motherhood?

It’s past 1am in the morning and I’ve been crying all night. My husband is getting some sleep as he’s the sole provider in this home. I’m alone, with the baby who I’ve managed to put to sleep( for now) My baby has severe reflux and has issues. He constantly has breast milk and formula oozing out of his nose. I already have severe anxiety and now I find myself watching him all night so he doesn’t choke on his sleep. I haven’t slept in almost 2 months since I had him. I was recently diagnosed with stress incontinence. I pee on myself when I laugh, sneeze, cough, basically anything. My newborn also has eczema and other skin issues. I cry all the time because I miss the peaceful and happy person I was. I look crazy! Taking a bath is a privilege. Is anyone else feeling like they’re being punished? This doesn’t feel like fun. I love my baby but I dread the night time and money hours during the day until my husband is back from work. Am I a bad mom?

AITA?

So my bf (30m) and I (26f) have 2 kids (5 years and 1 yr). He barely helps me (changes 1 diaper a week, doesn’t cook dinner, doesn’t drive, doesn’t support me or the kids emotionally or spiritually, etc.) So today I’m exhausted I homeschool and I just lost my job a few weeks ago so I’m actively job searching (my career is done remotely). He bought food earlier for himself and our 5 year old because I had a lactation appt with my son and then we had mommy and me story time where they provided food. Then I came home and he told me he’d order some food for dinner. So I didn’t cook anything. It’s past dinner time like 8pm and I’m like where’s the food and he goes “I’m not ordering nothing I buy food for lunch everyday since you don’t cook me food for lunch.” And now I’m irritated because I coulda took some meat out since everything is frozen I don’t have anything to feed our daughter right now. I got mad and told him leave me alone I need some alone time I didn’t wanna take my anger out on anyone in the house. Instead of giving me space he forced our 5 year old to stay in the room with me knowing I need space and then gets in the shower. Then after he gets in he gets dressed and comes in here trying to tickle me and gets aggressive when I tell him to stop picks me up throws me on the bed which I hurt my leg then he calls me fragile and tells our daughter to tickle me while I’m in pain so I get even more mad and tell her not to and to stop she doesn’t listen because she thinks I’m playing. So now it’s 11pm, my child still hasn’t eaten, and my leg hurts. I’m just so tired of his toxic ass bs.

On top of this, he’s a 50/50 type person so even though I have barely any income he wants me to pay half the rent $900, car payment and insurance $500, utilities $85, as well as personal expenses and things for the kids. I get food stamps so I don’t worry about that but there’s days when I’m just exhausted and don’t feel like cooking. He refuses to help or he says “I work 11 hours m-f” which btw he’s a security guard so he literally sits on his ass on his phone or he’s walking around doing nothing.

Why am I always so angry/stressed?!

Mum of a 2 and almost 1 year old boys. I just feel so angry/stressed/upset all the time recently. I don't enjoy my life at the moment. I take it out on the boys and my partner then regret it (but never say this to my partner) I'm worried I am losing him away but I can't stop these feelings. Anyone else feel/felt the same? I feel as though I'm drowning sometimes and there's no way out of it!

Struggling mentally with TTC

I currently have a 5 year old and we finally decided this past November that we would like to expand our family. I never could have imagined how mentally difficult TTC is. We conceived our son accidentally, so we’ve never been through this before. My husband is absolutely fine with everything. Meanwhile I’m finding this one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. We have been apart about 2 months that we’ve tried and also didn’t time it well on other months as I was still trying to learn my cycle, so I guess we’ve had 2 cycles now where everything has been “right” . It’s hard to wrap my head around doing this no birth control or protection and it just doesn’t work . But I feel like I’ve already seen so many negative pregnancy tests and it just feels so cruel. I would like to give my son a sibling so badly and it’s so hard when he is always telling me how much he wants one too. I just feel like I’m letting him down. Anyway I just had to vent and see if anyone else can relate or offer me any reassurance (please be kind as already I feel so vulnerable and upset).

Bday question. Daddy travels for work for 2 months at a time, comes back to 2 months then goes for 2 months….

My toddler misses him like crazy. We talk about it all the time. I have the calendar countdown that we tick off every morning. We do video calls and msgs. I have a daddy and toddler photo book. So trying to manage it as best as i can. With the current schedule daddy will miss his 3 year bday. But will be there a month after. I’m not sure how to handle it. I don’t think we have a 3 year party on his actual bday because he will b missing daddy so we have one when dad is back. But what do I do on his actual bday?