Am i overthinking?

So today I was outside with my toddler playing and walking around on our block close to our yard (she was trying to catch a bird lol) anyway, the road we live in gives a good amount of traffic
Then a car slowed down (I didn’t think too much of it because I come to realize ppl slow down when kids are out) next thing you know I hear “hey neighbor”, old man rolling down his window stopped his car to say it, I instantly thought wtf and I never saw him around before, I watched him a bit and he was driving slow as he was driving away, creeped me the fuck out, called my husband right away which he was only 5 minutes away
It really freaked me out, I always felt safe in my neighborhood (though only been here for 2 years) I hate telling my husband stuff like this because he be reaching but I had to and also i can’t sleep now yall, my husband put chairs on all the doors
I work out early morning in our basement and told him to do the same down in the cellar door to outside, even told him to block the windows. I felt and still feel so uneasy about it and now I don’t feel comfortable taking my children out when my husband isn’t home

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In the nicest way possible, seek therapy

I can understand feeling uncomfy/ spooked but the chairs on the doors and blocking the windows seem a little much.. I wouldn’t automatically assume he means harm but I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry

With how the world is it’s not crazy to overthink, especially with your children involved. Maybe if you see him again and he slows to say something ask him who he is, like said. He could be a new neighbor or a friend of a neighbor that’s seen you around, could be friendly but you always keep your guard up even if you know the neighbors too. Put them cameras up if it helps keep your mind at ease!

It’s great to be concerned and cautious but when you let that fear overpower you from living your daily life I think it’s time to seek help.

....you're over reacting

My anxiety about things like this has been just as bad. You're not overeacting cause you was there, only you know how creepy the situation felt and being safe rather than sorry? Much better
So many kids go missing and honestly, it's a scary World out there these days

Idk…only you know your neighborhood and city. I used to live in Northern VA…it’s the kind of place where, if you waved hi to someone you didn’t know, you got a strange look back. When I moved to Richmond, EVERYONE waved, it was so weird for me to get used to.

If a guy in a car did that in NOVA, and I was out with my little girl, I’d freak out, but if it happened in Richmond, I probably wouldn’t.

Then again…nobody in either place would make it a point to roll the window down and say something. Thinking about it that way…it’s a little creepy.

Do you know your neighbors? We know almost everyone who lives on our street and multiple people who live a few streets over. We have an online neighborhood group, where we can discuss things and make sure we make each other aware of everything going on. If that happened to me I would just call one of my neighbors who knows everyone and ask him about them.
Becoming more aware of the people around you could solve this issue quickly.

I dont think you’re overthinking. You dont recognize him, never seen him before, he tried talking to you, stopped the car to do so, and he sent off your momdar. Your mom-radar is rarely wrong. Can I be honest? Where I live, its a beach/port city. It would take >30 minutes for a child(or grown woman) to go missing and be ON a boat out of port. We currently have women and child missing in our area. I don’t even take my kids outside(other than on our screened in back porch) without my partner. Its something we are aware of and take a million precautions for. If youre overthinking, then I guess I’m way overdoing it. But you know what? I would rather be cautious and prepared than completely unprepared in the moment. Ya know? Guess I’m crazy for wanting to go above and beyond to keep my kids safe lol 🤪

He could literally just have dementia or just confused you for someone else …

Its good to be cautious but he was probably just an older man who has more time on his hands than most. Maybe your child playing just made him happy and reminisce about his own when they were little.

I think as others have said, if you see him again, try and talk to him.. see what hes about.

I had a very nice man with a dog come and talk to me with my toddler at the park the other day. He was just an pleasant person, my daughter was excited to see a dog and the man purposely came over so she could get a better look. It was all good. Sure you could say im technically vulnerable in that situation but, there were people about, it was in the middle of the day and the guy didnt do or say anything that concerned me so, i let it happen. I learnt a couple of things about huskys, my daughter had a new experience and he enjoyed seeing a cute little person laughing at his silly doggy.

This guy probably hasnt given your interaction another thought so, calm down, its all ok! Move the chairs and distract your mind.

in our community

My husband cheated … somehow I got blamed…

Hey yall, this story is probably about to be all over the place but I really just need to vent. So bear with me if you don’t mind…

So I’ve been married to my husband going on 10 years. While we were pregnant, he became so distant it was crazy. Like going missing, not answering the phone, coming home late nights. I’m no dummy, I already figured out “well, he’s cheating”, right? So I completely stopped talking to him. Actually walking past him as if he were a ghost.

One day, he messages me and ask if we could meet for lunch so we could talk. I say “sure” because why not? What do I have to lose? I know you’re cheating, I know you’re lying, I know that whatever you have to say isn’t going to fix anything. So I make it to the restaurant first, (it’s my most favorite place to eat, I did the DASH honey lolol so don’t threaten me with a good time!! lol)

20 minutes goes past, he still hasn’t shown up so I go ahead and order, I’m hungry. As I’m waiting on the server to bring me my food and BMF, this drunk guy approaches me and just starts doing the absolute most. I’m telling him to get on, leave me alone, blah blah blah…. The guy is literally lingering and breathing all over me with the most atrocious breath, yuck. But — WHY IS THIS THE MOST OPPORTUNE TIME FOR MY HUSBAND TO WALK IN? So, my husband becomes irate and curses everybody out then storms out… sweetheart, I stopped running tack after college, I’m not chasing after you.

The sever looks at me with the most sympathetic eyes and tells me don’t worry about the check, so I tip her and head on out to my car. He’s in his truck just staring daggers into me. I start to walk towards his truck and he peels off… way to show me how upset you are, cowboy ..I guess.

I finally make it back home, he’s packing all of his clothes and taking them to the guest room. And he keeps looking over his shoulder and grunting and deep sigh-ing and I’m just singing and doing tummy time with our daughter. Because, if that’s what you choose to get mad over? Have fun. A blind man could see that had nothing to do with me. Anyhow…

Before he goes upstairs, he says, “That. That right there is exactly why I cheated on you.”

And we haven’t spoke since. He keeps trying to initiate conversation with me but I walk past him. In my mind, it’s just me, my baby girl and our dogs in this house. I’ve made myself a single mother.

Am I the 🫏 🕳️?

Do I still send in or not /:

Bit stuck on what to do - my sons a anxious kiddo - he’s finding the transition for Nursery really difficult

Sometimes he wakes around 2am ish with worry for example and doesn’t fall back to sleep till 5ish sometimes 4am ish - his bed time is 7/7:30pm and his nursery time is 8:45am we live literally a walk away so I here’s no leaving early for travel

Do I still send him in?
The nursery teacher has made a comment a few times about how he’s not coping cause he ends up having extra day for the weekend (Mondays are the hardest) I beg to differ, he has separation anxiety majorly but don’t see how sending a highly anxious child who’s now overly exhausted in school for 3 hours is going to help him ?

Clean home

Has anyone reached a point where they want to go to their husbands MUM for help about speaking to him about taking care of the home?! He litters the entire house and he huffs and puffs when I MAKE him clean up after himself, do the dishes or load/unload a wash. He argues I’m a stay at home mum but that is not the point the man is old and grown to recognise daily living tidiness and cleanliness. Does anyone even have any advice because he thinks maintaining the home is SOLELY my job as I’m stay at home. I’ve got my young children to clean up after themselves even the 6 yo washes his plate after eating. I feel like it’s creating this monster in me because I live with a feral man. I need advice because I swear to god I will look crazy for leaving a man because he doesn’t tidy up.

How to get toddler to tell us they need the potty?

We started potty training Saturday. For reference, my daughter is 2y 9m.

I put her straight into pants, no trousers on and set the timer for 20/25 minutes and then told her it was time for the potty when it bleeped. She then sits on the potty for around 3-5 minutes. She's doing amazing but struggling to get her to tell us herself when she needs to go without relying on the timer.

Does it just click and they tell you? I know it's only been 48 hours so far but just cautious.

So stressed

I’m tired and mentally exhausted, I’m tired of being stressed about money, I can’t take much more.

Thinking about money all the time, so many things to pay for, I can’t find a permanent job.

How are people surviving in the UK?
Because I’m drowning.

I have no money to go holidays no money to pay my debt back, had to use a credit card to pay to fix my car because I had no money.

Desperately trying to get a permanent job but there isn’t any, now it’s all temporary Christmas staff.

The bills don’t stop coming when Christmas is over.

It’s crazy.

UC is pissing me off. I earned £400 in a month and they gave us £40. I’m so angry 😡 and frustrated I want to smash things up. My partner works, his knackered and tired.

Everyone is going on holidays and enjoying life. We’re just stressed out our minds in debt. And no one helps us.

No help from UC, no help from the government. No help from mental health services. Nothing.

I’m mentally exhausted.

My husband

This is going to be a little tmi with my husband but yesterday I layed my son down for a nap while my husband was in the with him because we have a one bedroom apartment and my son is 6 almost 7 months old. Well I was playing a game on TV after I heard him go to bed for maybe five-ish minutes, after those five-ish minutes I went to go double check on him double check that he was actually asleep and that my husband is not playing with him so he can actually sleep in his crib. I walk into the room door was already open checked on him. He was sleeping and facing towards the bed where my husband was, and then I turned and looked at my husband, and he was jerking off, usually if he does that and he says the truth about it, I’m not gonna be mad. I might be a little disappointed, but not mad well, he lies about it. I figured out that he was completely uncovered so if my son woke up, he would be watching his dad jerk off, and my husband didn’t realize why I was so pissed and so I walked out of the room so me and him can talk about it. He then proceeds to use the Alexa to say my name and to come back into the bedroom instead of getting his ass up getting changed and then coming to talk to me he used our Alexa device to call for me to go back into the bedroom. He then refused to talk to me until I talk to him first. I was so pissed off and I did not wanna start an argument in front of our son who’s currently sleeping so I messaged him to come to a different room so we can talk. He didn’t so I messaged him about why he’s always lying to me about that stuff his reasoning was because he was embarrassed, which I get however when I told him I was mostly pissed at him doing it in the same room as my son who’s sleeping and being completely uncovered and just doing it in the room with him in general he got mad at me for it and started talking about how after our son was born about how we’d get in intimate while my son was sleeping in our bed. But he said I was the person that initiated it. I was terrified of any intimacy after having my son. I was traumatized anything going near me down there, but apparently I’m the one who initialized it. When I said that’s not true he started yelling through the phone saying yes it is.

This brings me to another incident maybe less than a week ago I came back from a good day at work, played with my son for a bit, gave him a bath after that I went to go take a shower and a bath and before that I said hey to my husband, I asked him if he could do me a favor and make sure that my son actually went to bed and if he cries, go answer and double check that he’s OK because he probably would’ve hit his head on the bars of his crib like he has done on accident, and if he did that I possibly would want to have intimacy well after my bath I was thinking about stuff in about our marriage and how I don’t want to be in this anymore. I don’t really love him anymore not since I was pregnant with our son and after he was never a true dad and never helped me out postpartum, I was thinking I don’t want to do this with him anymore. He was already in bed waiting for me because we haven’t been intimate in about a month and I let him know that hey I was thinking about things and I don’t want to be intimate, especially not in the same room with our son because he can wake up anytime, my husband proceeds to yell at me and wake up our son and instead of putting our son back to bed. He made me do it because he’s never done it before and refuses to even try. I told him I’m gonna be in the living room so that we can have a conversation and not yell in the same room as our son who’s currently sleeping so I walk out of the room and he proceeds to yell more at me. He wakes up our son again refuses to put him back to bed so I have to do it. This goes on for about two more times. By the way the yelling at me all four of those times was because I didn’t wanna have sex or be intimate, and he was trying to find ways to force me to be intimate like he has done so many times in the past.

This is how it’s been for almost 2 years with him and I said to his face a few days ago that I do not love him at all, and I don’t want to be with him. He faked his emotion of being shocked, and I could 100% tell whenever he fakes an emotion, what was worse was that him shocked or anything like that he had no emotion for it. He didn’t give him crap in the world but every time that I tell him I want divorce he takes my son and hold him hostage for me at his grandmother‘s house and if I call the police department either the sheriffs office or the regular PD they’ll tell me that he’s able to do that because he’s the father and that I can go days without seeing my kid but if I did that that would be kidnapping and I would never see my son again.

(Sorry if my wording sounds a little off and my grammar and punctuation is off, it’s because I was using voice to text.)