I think my partners boundaries are too strict…

I personally would also not allow my little one at that house or near it. Second hand smoke from weed can also be just as harmful even if smoked outside so they'd have to visit at my house x

I’m with your partner on this one. It’s not worth the risk to your baby.

I would be with your hubby on this one, my children would be no where near that house

You are not being concerned enough. I’m with your partner ; if his parents are lax on the brothers behavior; there are other things they could possibly overlook; it’s his family; he knows them well ; what if bro accidentally drops some of that powder anywhere in the house and your baby gets ahold of it , that thing absorbs through the skin And yes that’s absolutely what your partner is trying to do ; is to get his parents to be parents to his brother.

I’m with your partner on this too. We have a similar situation but not drugs but smoke and my baby hasnt been to the inlaws house at all because of it.

Have you set boundaries?

We set them before baby arrived and the inlaws mentioned they wanted to stop smoking in the house and get the house right for the baby. 20 months have passed and things havent improved much so visits are at our house whether they like it or not, they had plenty of notice

Unfortunately people with drug dependency issues can also often bring trouble to their door, might sound extreme but I think the issue goes deeper than just the presence of drugs in the house, I completely understand why he wouldn’t want your child going round there, I wouldn’t either.

All it takes is one misplaced bag of drugs. He can say it's all kept safely in his room but I wouldn't personally trust a regular drug user to never make a mistake, and that mistake could be catastrophic. However unlikely, I don't think it's worth the risk. It probably isn't easy for your partner being in the position to make this decision and I think he's doing the right thing and that he probably needs your support through it.

You're not being concerned enough. My MIL smokes a lot, and her house stinks of cigarette smoke with black soot. Because of that, I haven't been there since I became pregnant and my child will never go to her house. She can come and visit but that's about it.

Thanks everyone for your comments, really insightful to have other mums views. I think I was too concerned with causing family drama but of course that shouldn’t come above the safety of my baby.

My partner has slightly raised the issue in passing (which was met with some disappointing comments from his mum) but we need to have a conversation with them and fully set our boundaries ahead of baby arriving ❤️