I think my partners boundaries are too strict…

I personally would also not allow my little one at that house or near it. Second hand smoke from weed can also be just as harmful even if smoked outside so they'd have to visit at my house x

I’m with your partner on this one. It’s not worth the risk to your baby.

I would be with your hubby on this one, my children would be no where near that house

You are not being concerned enough. I’m with your partner ; if his parents are lax on the brothers behavior; there are other things they could possibly overlook; it’s his family; he knows them well ; what if bro accidentally drops some of that powder anywhere in the house and your baby gets ahold of it , that thing absorbs through the skin And yes that’s absolutely what your partner is trying to do ; is to get his parents to be parents to his brother.

I’m with your partner on this too. We have a similar situation but not drugs but smoke and my baby hasnt been to the inlaws house at all because of it.

Have you set boundaries?

We set them before baby arrived and the inlaws mentioned they wanted to stop smoking in the house and get the house right for the baby. 20 months have passed and things havent improved much so visits are at our house whether they like it or not, they had plenty of notice

All it takes is one misplaced bag of drugs. He can say it's all kept safely in his room but I wouldn't personally trust a regular drug user to never make a mistake, and that mistake could be catastrophic. However unlikely, I don't think it's worth the risk. It probably isn't easy for your partner being in the position to make this decision and I think he's doing the right thing and that he probably needs your support through it.

You're not being concerned enough. My MIL smokes a lot, and her house stinks of cigarette smoke with black soot. Because of that, I haven't been there since I became pregnant and my child will never go to her house. She can come and visit but that's about it.

Thanks everyone for your comments, really insightful to have other mums views. I think I was too concerned with causing family drama but of course that shouldn’t come above the safety of my baby.

My partner has slightly raised the issue in passing (which was met with some disappointing comments from his mum) but we need to have a conversation with them and fully set our boundaries ahead of baby arriving ❤️

To be fair to op I think it’s easy and common to feel one way about something while pregnant and then suddenly feel different about the reality and risks when your baby is here and everything is suddenly very real.
That being said I am 100% on your partners side, it is absolutely of worth the risk to your baby. There are no guarantees when it comes to a drug users behaviour and it is too late once your baby finds something they shouldn’t. I don’t blame him if he is using this as a push for his parents to actually parent he’s probably had years of dealing with it. Fundamentally you’re not trying to impact family relationships, you are not saying your child cannot see it’s grandparents, you are saying they are currently allowing their home to be an environment that isn’t safe for a child.

I think your partner is being fair and reasonable. He is omitting any risk of your baby being exposed to dangerous substances and people under the influence. As your baby grows they will become more curious and want to explore any trace of anything can be dangerous.

I am sharing ur partner's thoughts. Its not about pleasing ur in-laws, its about keeping ur baby safe. In my opinion, baby wouldnt be safe in such an environment.
There are so many circumstances that could happen:
Drug residue on the surfaces in the room where the baby is,BIL touching baby with drugs on his hands/clothes, etc.
If ur in-laws really want you to come over with their grandchild, they'd make sure that the environment is safe for the baby. They'd make sure their son gets rid of the drugs in their house. Period.
If I were u, I'd consider not allowing BIL to touch ur baby while using drugs/ being an addict.
I set up the rule/ boundary that any smoker has to wash their face, hands, brush their teeth and change their shirt after smoking if they want to hold my baby. Or they simply shouldn't smoke before seeing us. Otherwise they can see the baby from a metre distance. I am not putting my baby's health at risk just to please someone who should have a common sense and know what's not healthy for a baby