Should I let my mom see my son?

My mom is toxic. Shes verbally abusive and disrespectful. Shes a narcissist. I hated her during my pregnancy. She was disgusted with me for getting pregnant.
Now my sons almost 3 and she adores him. She even made her office into his room. Toys, learning tools a bed.
But we had a nasty disagreement this past weekend like usual. But this time SHE feels disrespected by my partner. Which to me he didnt say anything disrespectful at all. She told me to find another baby sitter. She was our only baby sitter. So when I needed a break she was there. Now I lost it. Soon enough I know shes going to Crack and want to see her grandson. I choose not to talk to her and go to her for validation and support anymore. To me. If she doesbt like me she doesnt like her grandson evntho shes thanked me for making her a grandmother. I dont think shes mad at her grandson at all I think shes solely upset with me and my partner. But I dont care. The bitch can attack me but once its done to her she clams up and get sad about getting the same medicine she gives out. Ugh what would you do?

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I don't let my mother see my son because I know how she treated me growing up and I don't want that for him.

my mom is the same way and used babysitting as leverage to never apologize and have the upper hand and treat me and my husband so poorly. eventually i had to completely cut off contact because playing games like that not only affects you- but your entire family.

This is tricky as she’s back and forth but think of it this way. If she disrespects you or your partner you are the only access she has to that child and if she can’t respect the parents then as the child gets older she won’t respect your child and maybe do things behind your back that you said you didn’t want your kids having like for example a tablet or complete screen time the whole time he’s there so it’s best you keep your distance from her and if she is only nice when you threaten no contact then not worth having her in your life or your sons life. If she sees your child as her gateway parent again and “be better” then not an excuse and she shouldn’t see him but I feel like she’s the type to take over as well and you and your partner are one so whatever you two days goes.

If your son sees that growing up as well that she’s nasty to you and your partner then it may rub off on your son so definitely not worth seeing her

I wouldn’t put up with it to be honest. Your son will pick up on it

I see how this effects the other side my aunt isn't allowed to see her grandkids and it's absolutely devastated her. She cries about it. It's so sad. We only live once and how they treated you may not be how she will treat her grandkids. It's like a second chance for them. As we age we learn from our mistakes. I would suggest you heal things and let her see them.

Is there anyone else in this world that treated you this way who you would allow to watch your son? Of course not. Television could literally be a better babysitter. Let her enjoy her room of children's toys with no grandchildren to play with them. Teach your kid not to accept abuse, verbal or otherwise.

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