MIL passive comments
My husband and I agreed we had the fortunate opportunity to have me be a SAHM. Our finances are thankfully sound and we don’t have to worry!
Of course my MIL doesn’t know this we don’t speak about our finances to her bc we are doing better than 90% of the family and don’t want to rub it in anyone’s faces.
I don’t plan on working until our kids are grown right now we have our first kid 11 mo.
Every single time my mother in law is around without fail she brings up how I could work or bring in income. My husband has told her my job is mom and right now we aren’t looking for a job i am enjoying being a mom. I know it maybe my MIL insecurities but it’s very annoying to hear it feels like I am not doing “enough” as a SAHM alone.
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My MIL does the same thing. And he does discuss our finances with them! She’s been a stay at home wife/mom since before her boys were even born.
One time I mildly snapped back, “is there any specific reason you were more deserving of being taken care of as a wife than I am?”
She just stuttered and claimed that’s not what she meant by it “she just doesn’t want my husband burnt out over it”
Which to that my response was “oh so you think hes less capable than his father. Okay”
She uh. Shut up after that.
I don’t really know what her issue is tbh, she spacey & unpredictable.
Like at least I know my step mom’s just jealous LOL that’s easier to deal with.
Honestly the best way to handle these comments is just say ‘oh wow, what a great idea’ and then change the subject. It makes her feel heard and allows you to move on without feeling awkward about it. I swear the baby boomer generation have just completely disconnected from what it is really like being a full time mum 😅
My mil is the same why but I think it’s bc she’s jealous that she has to get up and work and I don’t. Personally a sahm is a job you keep up the house make sure everyone’s ok that’s a lot of responsibilities when she brings up me working I just be like yeah one day
a mil will always be a mil….
Aw she thinks her poor son is being taken advantage of. Insufferable
I’m so glad your husband is backing you up! Honestly it’s nobody’s business and it’s your life. If she wants to talk about getting a job and working, tell her childcare isn’t free. A lot of peoples wages goes on childcare, and every single person I know who has worked in a nursery has told me not to send my son to one because you never know what’s going on (in the uk sooo many crime reports and stuff are coming out of people abusing kids and being negligent) an if you need to it should be when they can talk (pre school) so they can tell you if something happens etc. but nevertheless it’s nobody’s decision but you two. Don’t let it affect you, because she doesn’t have the full picture and it’s not like she needs to know anyways that’s a personal piece of information
Is she actually offering to babysit? Logically even if you did work a lot of the money would go on childcare anyway.
Hi , I’m in the same position. Can I ask do you receive any income or just hubby? My husband pays me a wage as if I was working. Is this normal?
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Feeling Pressure to Spend Time with Partner's Family Postpartum
I'm 3 months postpartum and my partner expects me to spend more time with his family when he's not there because he's working.
There have been comments made from his mum to him and then passed on to me that they expected me to make more of an effort with them. Honestly, it's overwhelming and added pressure and awkwardness. I get on with them fine but the relationship feels forced and they are coming to see the baby and not for me, am I wrong for not wanting this? My partner and i had a argument because he doesnt understand how its fine for my family to visit, i tried to explain the dynamics are different and as much as my family want to see the baby they come to visit to check in and give support to me! Has anyone else dealt with these expectations, and how did you handle it?
I now feel awkward, pressured and alot of guilt on my shoulders because they're 'not seeing the baby enough to bond'. Now cant get it out of my mind and want to see if I am in the wrong for not wanting them over much and prefer to keep it to when my partner is around.
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On Instagram your seeing all these post about husbands doing all the cooking, cleaning, food shop and looking after the other kids and allowing you to sleep, rest and focus on caring for the new baby..
Is this even possible. My husband helps but im still doing everything like usual. Im cooking all our meals, mowed the garden yesterday, hoover daily wash and hang the clothes outside. He is making our toddlers packed lunch for nursery and does the food shop but other than that everything is our usual. I havent had this waited on hand and food situation I see on socials 🤣😅😬
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Advice on my situation 😩
I’m really struggling what to do I need advice or someone to talk to it’s killing me.
Couple months ago my baby dad went out he said he wouldn’t be back late and I told him not to do drugs as I don’t like it and we have a family anyway he didn’t come home till the next day as he was going drugs till silly o’clock in the morning. I had a discussion with him about it saying it upsets me etc saying sorry I won’t do it aged then another couple he did the exact same thing again
On Friday night he went out for a couple hours then came home at 12 in the morning on drugs yet again and somehow it’s all my fault it’s me doing wrong he doesn’t see the wrong in his actions and that he’s hurting me doing it.
Am I over reacting or have I a right ?
He doesn’t help me with our baby at all
Yesterday he spent all day in bed didn’t come see our daughter never mind me .
I put my all into been a mum don’t get help and just get walked all over I don’t know how much I can take i rlly love him and I don’t want a broken family but he’s hurting me doing this all the time l.
His doing but I’m gonna have to be the one who says sorry and try sort it out
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Having to ask permission from my partner to go have a bath on a Sunday is insane. Yet he walks out the house when he likes to go smoke or plays on his laptop when he likes without a care in the world.
Told him to put the baby on the playmat so he can kick around his answer well all he does is cry and I hate the sound of him crying. It’s consuming…
Bear in mind football is on at 4:30pm and I’m gonna have to cook dinner and do bedtime routine.
Sorry just need a rant.
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