Separation Anxiety?

Last night my husband was sitting with our almost 4 month old son while I used the bathroom. All of a sudden i heard blood curdling screaming and ran out of the bathroom. My poor husband was so upset and distraught because he couldn’t get him to calm down. I picked him up and he immediately relaxed and fell asleep in my arms. Tonight, the screaming wasn’t like last night but he was fussy and yelling and we did the same process. I tried explaining to my husband not to take it personally because he feels awful as a dad. It’s interesting because it only happens at night right before bed. Is anyone else’s 4 month old experiencing this? It happens when our son is super tired so maybe he’s just fighting his sleep? First time parents over here so we hate seeing him so upset.

in our community

Am I being unreasonable for wanting my partner to hold our 1 month old with both hands?

Basically, what it says. I have a lot of anxiety about the baby being dropped. It's not that I think my husband is incapable, weak or too inexperienced. I've told him this, that babies can randomly wriggle out of your arms at any moment. I've been trying to work on this anxiety to not project, so I don't say anything while we're at home. When we're out and about, I get very anxious because instead of putting the baby in the carrier, he sometimes carries her with one arm and pushes the pram with the other hand. I try to say "two hands on the baby, let me push the pram", but he insists it's fine.

I feel like an uneven street slab, something slippery, someone bumping into you, the baby wriggling in an unexpected way, any of this could happen to anyone. I don't want to be annoying but I don't see why he won't just either leave her in the pram or put her in the carrier. He said doing things just to soothe my anxiety doesn't help anyone, and while I agree with that, I think it's a valid concern while we're out and about.

I think it's possible I've got some serious postpartum anxiety going on too, which obviously isn't his fault. I am already seeing a therapist because of PTSD and anxiety, so I'm waiting for my appointment to talk about this. I'm just wondering what your take on this is.

What do you think?

Parenting…

If your husband was happy to do bath & bedtime every night after work and also spend the most time with your kid/kids at the weekends to give you a break… how would you feel about it?

Feeling judged and deflated, and a bit annoyed. Do I need to chill out?

I have a 10m old baby, friends with about 4 or 5 other women who have babies similar ages. Also, my sister has a 3YO. All their babies don’t have problems sleeping, eating etc.

My boy is HIIIGH input, all or nothing baby. He’s never slept well, he has zero interest in food, screams crying being in the car and has to be entertained at every second otherwise he cries.

Whenever I’m at family events (like today), I feel like everyone is judging me because of this. They’re constantly trying to feed my son, as though he’s going to start eating and I feel they think that it’s my fault he is the way he is? My sister kept making comments about how she’d do it and making comments ‘a second time mum would make to a first time mum’, but she’s a FT mum and as far as I’m concerned, we have the exact same experience raising a baby up to 10 months old. When her child was same age, he was soooo chilled out, our experiences are not the same at all, she wasnt surviving off minimal sleep, nor are the others trying to step in.

No one makes direct comments to me, but it’s always comments with maybe I’m taking the wrong way.

Try this, try that. Yes. I have. Leave me alone.

How do I stop being a bedroom parent? 😞

Please don't judge I wasn't always like this. Well I was before I had kids but after my first things were different. I don't feel safe in my living room. I don't like having the blinds open and people being able to see in. I don't like going in the kitchen because even tho I've been in my own house for more than 5 years I still feel like someone's going to come in and start complaining that I'm doing everything wrong or I'm "stealing". I hate making food in my kitchen. I can't cook (except the basics but tbh more than some people I know) but I can follow a recipe but I don't like being in my kitchen for any length of time. I've suffered severe anxiety and depression since I was about 12, after I had my first things were different I was just in my bubble with my baby I didn't care about any of those things anymore. I had a difficult pregnancy with my second and ended up with postpartum depression and anxiety. I breastfed for 6 months and room shared for 8 months, he's 10 months now and I just don't jn know how to fix this this time 😭. It's got to the point my partner has to do meals and tries to get us downstairs but I always just end up taking them back to their room. I don't ignore my kids I spend most of my time in their room with them but I don't want them to end up like me.

Paying grandparents

I'm about to start back at work, and the grandparents are going to be having baby ad hoc. I will be working 3 days a week, and dad works different rota hours each week. He'll have her when he's available - so they'll be having her ad hoc days.

Question is: how much did you pay grandparents for looking after your little one as a daily rate?

They don't want money but I'd feel more comfortable giving a small amount to help pay for things when she's in their care etc.

Rate my 20 month old eating today 😭

Half a wheatabix
Strawberries
Oat bar
Half an apple
Small madeira cake because apple fell in sand i.e. hysterics
3 breadsticks
Bites of ham
Refused veg + noodles.
Milk before nap (this is rare)
One handful noodles
4 prawn crackers 😫
Orange slice
2.5 wheatabix as out of porridge.
Milk before sleep