What do I do ?

I’ve been pregnant with my 3rd child for 6 months now, I’ve had all my kids back to back because birth control causes me major health issues and I’m allergic to latex. Me and my partner have been together for 2 and a half years. For half of this time I’ve been asking him to help with the kids more, be more consistent with me and him and be more romantic/ hearing me and just making me feel not alone. I’m a SAHM I do most of the house work and we are currently moving. I was already pissed off because he was being an asshole to me all weekend, kept calling me annoying and irritating mind you.. starting around Thursday he’d have short temper with the kids I had to correct him. Saturday we had to get up early for DC, I fed my kids did their hair, got
Their clothes out, brushed their teeth, cleaned etc and he didn’t get up until 9:50, we had to leave the house by 10:30 we didn’t even up leaving until 1130, the day after this we had a family event with my family. Every family event we have went to with my side of the family he’s been an asshole. He got irritated because I was gone talking to my cousin and when I came
Back he addressed me I front of a couple members of my family. We left I felt really embarrassed we didn’t talk until the next night. Which is today. I spent a lot of time packing and he came and tried to apologize but I didn’t say anything else to him. In later asked did he just plan on packing his stuff and he said yes which means he’s expecting me to pack our entire apartment including everything and the kids and myself, I’m just tired. We have great chemistry when things are good but 50% of the time I’m
Unhappy and idk what
To do.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Also we’re moving Friday I didn’t mention that

I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself, it’s a lot for one person yo deal with especially when you have already voiced how you feel, I mean maybe find some time after the trip if your not done already to have a serious sit down talk sometimes it really does help to write it in your notes or something so you don’t miss anything you want to bring up, and maybe looks for little things to reconnect and perhaps tell him you feel very disconnected romantically and maybe why you feel that and ask how he feels and you would like do to something just you and him even if it’s just for a couple hours, but all you can do is voice how you feel and if he gets sick of hearing it tell him your sick of FEELING it girl, and I understand you I really do :/

And maybe mention when you move you want things to be different from now on?

I’d see if he would be up for couples counseling. Or maybe getting a workbook for therapy if you can’t do appointments.

Being the person to do everything is hard. In most cases the other parent doesn’t realize the mental load. Expressing how you feel and making it a team effort is so important. Set expectations for the house to be cleaned up the night before so you guys wake up and just get everything done you need. It’s what’s helped me. My husband will clean one to two times a week and I get self care or time to myself a couple days a week. You have to prioritize your needs too. But you can’t make him change at the end of it all he has to want to change or make different choices.

There are non-latex condoms available they are made of polyisoprene if you wanted a birth control option that’s non latex. Durex real feel, Skyn original etc are some that are non latex. Just mentioning so you can be prepared and try not to get pregnant again yes I know condoms break but having some on hand and using them is better than none at all. Coz at this point the last thing you need is another pos pregnancy test.

in our community

Does your partner help?

Interested in knowing other people’s dynamics, I have a 2.5 year old n a 8 month old, I do absolutely everything with the kids and all the housework. My partner very rarely interacts with the kids.

Just trying to work out if this is the ‘norm’ as we’ve had countless discussions about this and nothing changes due to it being ‘my role as a mum’

please help I don't know what to do

My 12 yo son has had two girl best friends (we'll call them A and V) since they were babies, basically. We've become friends with their mothers over the years, and we let them have sleepovers at each other's houses quite often. They go to the same school, my son and A, and recently my son started coming home from school very down and irritable. I tried to find out what was wrong, and yesterday he finally confessed that for the past few weeks his classmates had been avoiding him, talking about him behind his back, and yesterday a classmate asked him if it was true that he had masturbated in front of A and V at a sleepover and had touched A while she was sleeping.

I know how this sounds, I was so fucking worried and I didn't know what to do. I asked him if it was true and he completely denied it, crying. I'm a psychologist and I always know when my son is lying, and I believed him.
I spoke with V's mother (who doesn't go to the same school) so she could ask V about it, and after talking to her, she called me to say that V had denied anything like that had happened. She seemed horrified and said that she was even the one who slept in the middle of the three of them and nothing happened. They just watched a movie and went to sleep.
After that, I called A's mother and told her the whole situation, to which she replied, "It's just kids being kids." (Are you fucking kidding?!) She knows her daughter lied, turning all the children against mine, and she didn't apologize or anything. I'm devastated. My son is still being bullied, and V isn't even at the same school to defend him or correct what happened. I don't understand A's mother's reaction, and I don't know what to do anymore.

Advice Needed

I have been with my husband for 6 years, 2.5 years married, and have an 8month old. We have been through a lot in the 6 years we’ve been together - both victims of religious trauma, covid pandemic, miscarriage, moving multiple times, mental health issues, hard high-energy dogs, and now a new baby.

We are a good team and are working on our communication together but lately I keep feeling like my life would be easier without him. He has a hard time keeping a steady job and we keep going into debt on my credit cards. He is a chronic 🍃smoker (I smoke occasionally too but am not addicted), is easily triggered (has started seeing a therapist and is now on meds), and has a hard time being motivated (house chores, etc).

When things are good, they are really good. When things are bad, I wanna just get away and live a simpler life. I feel burnt out and exhausted all the time and don’t want to tip-toe around his emotions anymore.

Is this typical for a marriage after having a new baby? Do we just keep working through this or do we try something like a separation? This is scary for me to even type out but I feel at my wits end.

Victory post!! Toilet training

So after months and months of toilet training. Bought every toilet training item going and lots of sticker charts. We've finally had our first full day out with underpants on and zero accidents. It took a few tries on the toilet but he did what he needed to do in public toilets and also stayed dry in the car during both journeys. Was about 45 mins drive from our home. He even fell asleep and stayed dry.

We had a huge setback due to our son's medical issues getting worse but we are finally getting somewhere again! I am so incredibly proud of him! 💙💙

Am I in the Wrong?

My landlord and her daughter came into mine and my daughter’s room that we are renting today to grab clothes and belonging that she had left here. I received NO verbal, written or otherwise notice of her plans to do so in advance, and was only told later that evening that this had taken place.

When we got “home,” our room was tossed around quite a bit! It’s obvious they had gone through all of the drawers, closets, etc, which also includes our personal belongings, in order to make sure she had all of the things she wanted, I’m assuming.

I later found out that her son (who is a close friend of mine, but still…) had ALSO come into our room, without permission, to grab a couple of his daughters belongings (I had her over to watch her last night). His daughter did not need these items anytime soon, but the way.

I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable with this. In my experience with rental agreements, the landlord always gives prior notice and makes a plan with me/the tenant before coming onto, and especially inside the home. It’s really thrown us off kilter. It’s led us to feel quite uncomfortable in a space that we should feel safe in.

What do you guys think? Is this an invasion of my privacy and against my rights as the tenant, or is the status quo?

Trying to keep my cool, but going nuts 🫠

My husband just started going back to work. We have 2 boys and 1 girl 7 (will be 8 in 2weeks) my youngest son just turned 4 and our daughter will be a month on Wednesday. Not even a week yet, and it’s been so hard trying to keep up. My boys just don’t listen about being quiet. No matter how many times I ask them to close there door and play quietly, they within 5 minutes start again. When this morning was tough because our daughter was having bad gas, and I finally got her to take a nap. I wanted today to be a good and be able to be a super mom, but my patience is already running on low. My husband is really good with our boys, and they listen to him like no problems but when it comes me to, I’m like a joke to them.