not too long ago, my fiancé allowed our baby to cry himself to sleep because our son was tired. I entirely oppose to this way of nurture I despise it. There’s no way that these tiny creatures who were born with no coping abilities are somehow going to go to sleep with no comfort, I find it absolutely neglectful. I wanna share this topic asking for a mothers opinion as well how do you feel about the “cry it out” method does it work? Does it not? What’s your thoughts on it?
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
I usually rock or hold them to sleep but I will admit I have let both of mine cry to sleep a few times. Only time I've done that is when I've gotten overwhelmed (my partner works evenings) while being poorly
Some of his friends even encourage this way of nurture and say their babies are healthy today

I feel like its a men thing 😬 as my partner tells me to do it sometimes

Personally I think it can depend on a lot of factors. I don’t personally think it is neglect, as a baby’s only way of communicating is crying, so essentially it’s just their way of telling you they are tired and with words it would sound different. Now don’t get me wrong if my son was screaming I’d pick him and soothe him if i was not overwhelmed etc and he needed it! But if I need 10 mins I will leave him, because that is safer for me and baby. If he is just fussing/crying and I recognise that he’s just tired and he’s been fed, burped and changed, then I do try and leave him sometimes so that he can learn to soothe himself otherwise ya ending up with a Velcro baby and that isn’t always an option! But at the end of the day each baby is different and every single parent works differently too, so there shouldn’t be any judgement to any parent as long as baby is cared for and is safe at the end of the day 🩷🩵
It honestly pains me to know my baby voice is being ignored and neglected I have since then not allowed my child to “cry it out”.

I dont have my little one yet, but I will say my parents would let me cry myself to sleep after maybe 4-6 months? Of course, this would be knowing I had been fed, changed, etc and I was crying for attention not out of a need for anything. I think it just depends on the parent

There’s other techniques you can practice if you want baby to self soothe but I’m sorry I don’t agree with crying it out, such an old, cruel method. All they want is cuddles and closeness.
Trust me, you won’t have a Velcro baby for cuddling them to sleep. My LO was a Velcro baby and then around 5/6 months she wanted to self soothe so we practiced self soothing techniques when I was next to her.

With my newborn, no I don’t believe crying it out is healthy. Studies explain they are crying for a purpose (diaper, food, temperature, itch, etc.) they aren’t trying to annoy you or make life harder, they simply cannot care for themselves. As they get older they may be crying from exhaustion or more complex reasons so it depends on how you feel. My mother try’s to tell me to let him cry it out (at 2 weeks old) and I just don’t agree, but hey momma at the end of the day it’s your baby, if you want to nurture you should.

i did a modified ferber method with my daughter when she was about 8-9 months, she would cry for 3-5 mins, and then i would go in and comfort her until she was soothed, then i would put her back down. now she’s 14 months and she cries for a minute or 2 and then lays down and falls asleep all by herself. babies cry to communicate so they could just be telling you they’re tired. the key for me was to note the difference between “im tired” and “i need something” cries. the “i need something” cries are much louder and assertive than “im tired”. if babe is freaking out then of course comfort your baby!! that’s “cry it out” to me is letting them scream and cry uncontrollably for an uncontrolled amount of time. crying for a few minutes is ok, it teaches them to self soothe while also reassuring that you will still come to get them♥️ would also depend on how small baby is!