Husband help (long)

Last Friday my husband and I got into a really heated argument over alot of different things but it started with me asking him to stop yelling. We have a 3 year old 1year old and I am 8months pregnant. I told him that if that how he was going to treat them that will be his responsibility to repair that relationship down the road but in the mean time I don’t want to hear it. Then he proceeded to call me a hypocrite.

So then it just escalated I told him that he needs to actually help out with things around the house I work full time he works full time and we work opposite shifts so we both always have both the kids then we are off on the weekends together. Either way he told me that he does a bunch of stuff and I asked for examples of what he does and he used the example of him have the Monday-Thursday morning shift. I said like I have the same ordeal. But i never get a break on the weekends together from sun up to sun down it’s all mom cleaning laundry meals he does very little to help out and still gets the sleep in till 9 o’clock.

During the argument I just kinda shut down and let him talk with he proceeded to say fuck you about 15 times and called me a bitch many more times. Then said that I was just using him, so after him insulating me 20 times I got so pissed I threw a pan at him. Not hard and kinda involuntary really.

He proceeds to tell me that I’m alike all the other women in his life and I’m no good I crossed a line and I’m just like my mom have babies then leave the daddy (not once did I ever say anything like this) I was simply asking for help with all the tasks around the house. He told me it was back stabbing to assume that he does nothing.

Fast forward through the weekend he never apologized never admitted he was in the wrong, we barely talked satday and Sunday. Monday-Thursday we talked a little but only through texts and I still can’t seem to not be really hurt by the whole situation. I know that I have something’s to apologize for but I not once called him any names told him that he was a pos or anything but he did all that to me. The worst thing I did was throw a pan at him because he called me a no good bitch for the 3 time.

Idk what to do about this but I want to call him out but I still feel like he has the same attitude towards the situation

in our community

Should he go?

I’m a bit in two minds about this. My husbands very good friend (and one of his groomsmen) is getting married in November. It is a 3.5 hour drive away. I am due October 20th. We will also have a 2 year old. I will obviously not be going as there’s no way I want to be driven all that way 3-4 weeks post partum.

He’s such a good dad and I know that he’ll leave it up to me to decide and won’t force going. He’s been amazing this pregnancy and done 95% of the childcare so I can rest. I sort of want to say he can go but I’m terrified of being alone that fresh post partum. What should I do?

Is it okay to step in and tell another child not to force hugs or hold my child’s hand if my kid clearly doesn’t want it?

Today I met another mom and her son. Her kid is 2 and mine is 17 months old. Her son kept trying to hold my son’s hand, but my son clearly didn’t want to. He was kind of forcing it and squeezing his hand a lot, and my son looked uncomfortable. The mom didn’t really say anything, and I wanted to say something but i hold myself.

Later they were playing and her son tried to hug my son. Again, my son didn’t want to, but the other kid forced the hug and my son lost his balance and fell really hard on the floor. He hit his head and cried for a long time, and it made me really upset.

The mom said sorry, but she wasn’t really watching her son closely. I also noticed earlier that he tried to push or kick other kids.

Now I feel worried about my son because he hit his head pretty badly, and I also feel guilty that I didn’t say anything to stop it.

How do you handle situations like this? If another child is forcing physical contact (like holding hands or hugging) with your child and the other parent doesn’t step in, what would you say or do?

Struggling today

I am really struggling with small things that will set me off.

For the most part, I'm a super composed, super organised person. I discipline my kids effectively and calmly and try not to shout. My kids are well behaved, healthy and my eldest is a great sleeper , my youngest still wakes at least once a night.

However, with my spouse , anything little will set me on edge

E.g Both kids in bed at 7.30 pm last night. He went out with his friends but baby woke up like 4 times before 11pm so I didn't get much prep done for today. He got up with 3yr old at 7am , giving me time to get ready. When I went down with the baby at 7.30pm , he's shoved the breakfast pots in the sink, not even attempted to empty dishwasher, grabs his breakfast and goes to work.

Now, I know he gave me time to get ready, but if it was the other way round& I'd do the dishwasher, the bottles , put the washing on (which literally just needed stsrt pressing) and feed both kids breakfast.

It's not that he doesn't pull his weight, he does .

It's easier to not get mad when he's not there because then I KNOW I have to do it myself.

Also a container of snacks me and my son had homemade fell out of the freezer and cracked all over the floor and that sent me over the edge and i cried in the car

I just feel like dad gets to play all the time and I feel like I have to do all the boring stuff.

I am not slagging off my spouse, I just want to know does anyone else feel luke this .

Is it part of being a mum?

I ferl lije I have no tolerance for anything not going to plan anymore

I am also going back to work (in a different place) next week and I know I am anxious about that

thoughts and opinions on this ? idk how to feel

my aunt just passed away she’s my moms closest sister. she died from cancer unexpectedly and the funeral is next wednesday. my mom is heartbroken, stressed and is leaning onto me for support. i love my mom and want to be there for her. my husband is out of town for work it’s been 3 weeks since he’s been gone. i’m in cali with my baby visiting some family. going back home friday. than would leave again tuesday for the funeral. the plan is to have my husband come back home to watch our daughter while i’m gone. our daughter literally cries with everyone except with her dad or me. i don’t know what to do. do i just stay home have my daughter happy we’re back home or have her dad come and watch her…. i don’t know why i feel mom guilt over asking him to come home early to watch her

Almost 4 year old throwing a fit because she doesn’t want to do something and wants you to do it for her. What do you do?

So my almost 4 year old sometimes has tantrums that last 45 minutes or more. Not super often but more often recently. Today she needed a tissue. I get her one. We sit down to play and she wants another one even though she still has the first. I tell her okay go get one. She has gotten them before and can reach them and the tissues are in the room with us.

She freaks and won’t. Then proceeds to scream and cry and beg me to get her one because she’s “just a baby and cant”. This lasts for 45 minutes. I sit with her and stayed calm and all the things I thought I was supposed to.

But is it normal to last this long? Should I have caved and gotten it? She pulls the baby thing quite often. And does have a 1.5 year old sister. She has always been very strong willed and an emotional baby/toddler/kid.

Hello, has anyone been leaving your little ones yet? I’ve gone out twice briefly. The first time I cried lots! 🙈

I was supposed to be going for lunch with friends on the 18th- few hours and 20 minutes away. I was anxious about that and 50/50 whether I’d bring baby.
But my friend randomly got tickets for a daytime event. It’s a long drive out in the open, no shelter and not pram friendly, with a specific time slot- therefore taking baby would be very tricky! It’s over an hours drive away and would be gone for 4-5 hours.
Torn whether to go. Husband is ‘ok’ with baby, but not great!! Even yesterday he had her and she was grumbling and half crying and he just carried on chatting to her oblivious- so I had to say she’s getting upset can you pick her up. She’s also at a fussy stage of naps and drinking the bottle.
What would you guys do?