Toddler abusing me :((

I saw a video of a pediatrician saying to just ignore them and like pretend nothing happened basically (keep a straight face) cuz they’re seeking attention and even a negative one is a reaction. Also redirecting, but I’m sure you’ve tried that. I hope it gets better 😭

The first time he does it tell him it hurts and it’s bad behaviour, and if he wants to touch me he can stroke me with gentle hands and I show him how to do it. I tell him if he is frustrated, he can’t take me, but he should tell me with his words.

If (when!) he does it again I put him on the floor / ignore him for about 5 seconds.

does he do it when he’s tired or overstimulated?

you’re already doing the right thing by showing gentle hands, it’ll probably take a bit of repetition for it to click for him.

i’ve heard the ignore it advice but it doesn’t work if they’re genuinely hurting you :( in a firm voice you can say “i won’t let you hit me” and hold or move his hands. firm but calm so you’re not giving him a big reaction but you’re being assertive.

this is what worked when i used to work at a nursery but id also add “we don’t hit friends do we?” so you could say “you shouldn’t hit mummy”

i hope it eases up for you soon, you’re not alone! x

You need to be firm, I do believe in gentle parenting but only to an extent that resonates with them. Boys especially I think it’s really important, if he hits you you walk away and go into another room and explain to him that you are not going to be near if he’s going to hit (depending on his age) if he’s younger, I’d designate a certain area of the house eg. Bottom of the stairs for him to go when he hits, explain to him that he can sit there until he can be kind, then walk away. If he gets up, say nothing and guide him back, as long as you’re consistent and firm you should have no problems, as soon as you loosen the boundaries you’ve set into place you’re giving him power over you, which is why a lot of kids hit in the first place, I struggled with this myself and this is how I did it, I’ve never ever had a problem since! Hope this helps ❤️

As soon as it happens I put a straight face on and remove him from the “fun environment”. You can then explain that hitting hurts and it will mean a timeout or no fun. Each time do it with that same result. Soon he will realize hitting = no fun.

Personally I wouldnt be that soft and gentle. I work with kids and find that a firm 'no, stop that' can be enough. Its also ok to say 'that makes mummy cross' as anger is a very valid emotion. Putting him on the floor is a consequence and probably a good idea. I would keep sitting him back on the floor for 5 minutes and tell him he needs some quiet time. Its not punishment, its just cause and effect. We dont always get to do what we want...if he does something that hurts mummy then he gets quiet time...end of

Even if you see it coming, go straight to the stairs, don’t even give him chance to hit you. Show him it’s a 0 tolerance to hitting, even if you have to get up and down to guide him back to the stairs you keep doing it as many times as you need to until he calms down because it will show him that you aren’t backing down, it will get worse before it gets better!

I also believe in gentle parenting to an extent- but I think some things need to be addressed in a much firmer way. like hitting, bullying, ect.
I’m not saying hit him or anything but probably if u raise ur voice on these issues they’ll take it more seriously since it’s out of character for u.
my mother always believed in talking out problems but best believe if she raised her voice I knew it was bad.

My near 3 year old is going threw this phase ' he can be sweet then hit you random throwing things at me to point ive had bump an brusies but Ive 2 older kids that constantly fighting and he see it and copies but I just try keep calm and I say gentle I rub him on his arm or face and say gentle like this gentle and he will repeat after me and he will do the same and it will snap him out off it ' its hard sometimes ' if he continues with the behavior I recove his toys and myself and say mummies sad