What are you doing to teach your sons how to be productive family members?

So they don’t end up sitting on the couch in the evenings play on their phones, essentially allowing their wife to turn into the man because she can’t let go of control because she needs to do everything herself. What are you doing to teach them to lead? To not expect someone to do their chores and carry their mental load?

So sick of stagnant unambitious men being the norm

in our community

SAHM question

Hey! My husband and I were recently discussing the possibility of me becoming a SAHM and he expressed a couple things that I wanted to get more insight/opinions on-
1. He’s worried that after he’s been working a demanding job all day, that I’m going to just dump the kids on him because I’m exhausted from taking care of them all day. How do other SAHMs balance the parenting load once your spouse is home from work?
2. He expressed that he is/will be a little jealous that I will get to spend so much time with the kids. Does anyone else have spouses that struggle with the same? How have you handled it?

Am I a bad mum if we don’t go out today?

I have a 3 month old who just wants to be held and breastfed and a nearly 2 year old who has only had 20 minutes sleep.

We usually go out everyday but it’s just us three and I don’t want my toddler to get overtired or overstimulated, my infant won’t be put down and just wants to feed and I’m pretty tired but that’s nothing new 😅

What do you think?

Don’t be this friend

I need to vent! I made lunch plans with a childless (important I think) friend, drove 35 min away with a toddler only for them to cancel last min. No worries I adjusted and had fun with my toddler. I get home from the day and the same friend asked if they could come by my house to say hi instead. They came that evening, I had only about two hours notice. Two hours where I took care of my kid, made dinner, ate dinner, finished laundry from that morning, cleaned up toddlers toys and vacuumed. I tried my best last minute to get the house “presentable”. We are not dirty people, but I also wasn’t prepared to host visitors so our house was very “lived in”. Including the dishes from the last 3-4 MEALS in my sink. We hadn’t emptied the dishwasher yet, but all the dishes in the sink were rinsed and ready to be loaded. You know how it is sometimes, in order to stay on top of everything, sometimes one chore sits on the back burner. We didn’t do the dishes last night, and I hadn’t gotten to them yet today.
Point is, it wasn’t dirty, but maybe maybe messy with the sink of stacked dishes.
I wasn’t feeding them a meal, they were “just popping by”
This person lives alone, no pets, no significant other, no kids. Super strict routine, and a large need for control in their own life.
Their apartment always looks like a staged home to me. Wonderful for them, genuinely so happy for them that they can do that.
I am pregnant, have a three year old, and a husband who works 15 hour days. We manage our best and I think we’re doing pretty dang good for our situation.

This friend of mine was kind during their visit. But when I asked what they did that day they listed their activities they did, but then said “I did my dishes. That was fun. Doing dishes is fun” and then darted their eyes to my sink of dishes and started laughing.
I chuckled and didn’t say anything further. I was happy to see my friend and knew I was probably being too emotional.

But I’m sorry, just don’t be this person. It’s not hard.
I spent over an hour on the road with my toddler that morning to see them, they canceled, then asked with only 2 hours heads up to come to my home so they could see me. But then you outwardly joke about the state of my home?
Maybe I’m being too sensitive. Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones.
But it made me feel terrible and embarrassed just because I fell behind on a chore in my own home.
I would never make a joke like that in someone’s home. If I come to your house, I don’t care what it looks like. I’m not there to judge, I’m there to see my friend.
Inviting yourself to someone’s home after standing them up earlier in the day, to then “jokingly” judging the cleanliness of their home, feels like rude behavior.
But again maybe I’m just too pregnant for this.

Vent over.
If I’m in the wrong please dont hesitate to tell me, but be nice please

Staying close with working (supportive) husband/partner?

So, I stay at home all day with my 14mo kiddo. It's not too bad (he's very independent) but my husband comes home only a couple hours before bedtime after working all day.
My husband is very supportive and does everything he can when he's home (takes care of bedtime every night and takes a lot of the weight on weekends, and I know if he could be would do more, so that's not the issue).
My question is I am feeling very lonely, even when he's home and I feel like we are kind of distant. When I tried to tell him, he didn't understand (so I assume he isn't feeling the same).
Anybody have experience with this feeling of separation? Any advice would be appreciated ♥

Hands and privates

Silly question maybe but is it common for boys to hold their privates when naked? My son has just started doing this at night only when having a shower. Wont let go of it until his nappy is on, then he's not bothered. He's not yet toilet trained although shows a little interest but only at night when he's in the bathroom getting ready for a shower. I've tried to ask him to remove his hands and he gets upset so not sure why he's doing it or if it's just a development thing. He's only 2.

Portion size of meals

I am curious as to what people use as a guide for portion size for meals ? I have a 16 month old who is a super hungry baby and I worry about portion sizes. I use the ikea baby bowls and plates and we do have the bowls with the separate sections in.