do you take advice like criticism?

This can be annoying and you can ask them to stop. I get being young too, I’m 22! But I think my family knows I’m confident and outspoken about my parenting choices, so they know that if they criticize, they better be ready to back it up with evidence better than what I already have 😂 YOU are the mom, YOU know best. Be confident!

There is definitely a line between helpful advice vs criticism. I would speak up and tell them how you feel and shut that shit down before it continues on. Let them know if you want advice you’ll ask for it. Is your baby is happy, healthy, and not being neglected? Then you’re not a bad mother and doing an amazing job.

Do they mean it with positive intentions? Are they genuinely trying to be helpful? Do you know (within yourself) that they love you and want what's best for you?

Then it isn't criticism.

You are also LEARNING (assuming you are a first time mum). Everyone had to learn.

Sometimes their advice will be wrong. You know your baby best, if your instinct is baby is comfortable, don't go changing their outfit.

But they have experience, so sometimes their advice will be valid, and you take it on board.

Who calls you a bad mom? 😮

My elders always give me advice on how to put my baby to sleep but they don’t come over at 2 am so I’m like okay , oh okay , sure.

I try those tips but I know my baby. Sometimes you just have to be patient.

No no no, I may not have witnessed the conversation, but I’d swear she’s gaslighting you & you’re prob right that your age factors in. Believe your senses tho, especially if you can take advice from trusted friends & are only feeling this with certain people, bc my answer is both, although I’m not phased by either, I don’t give AF 40’s done got me, but I can tell when someone is genuinely giving me advice or just trying to make me feel like my way is wrong, which a good indicator that you’re not, when it comes to parenting, is if your child is well fed, comfortable, growing & happy & you’re paying attention & learning how to communicate w/your child non verbally, which I’m sure you are. People have a bad habit of underestimating young moms, sure, when we’re young we don’t make all the right decisions, but we get past it & get wiser w/time, although I do suggest you take our old lady advice on relationships, those of us sharing are doing so for your wellbeing.

It annoys me. My family doesn't do it as much but my in laws do. In one ear out the other.

Everyone has advice and thinks that they are being helpful by giving it to you or it’s something they wish someone had told them instead of finding out the hard way. But unless they are literally saying those awful words to you then I would not take it personally or critically.
However the truth is that no matter what everyone’s journey through parenthood looks different.
The easiest way to keep them off your back is usually by saying “thank you, I have read/heard that, I’ll keep that in mind!” Eventually they stop trying to give you advice.

Ive fully had to tell my family not to give advice unless I ask for it
Bevause if I dont ask? I dont need it
Its so irritating when they do it cause it does just feel like youre being judged on everything

I wouldn't try to change your perspective, it does sound like to a certain extent they aren't trying to be helpful - calling you a bad mum is criticism not advice! Don't waste your time trying to justify your choices with people who talk like this. What I would do is note advice the first time and say thanks I'll think about it, then any further attempts to say or force the same issue I would say "I have already noted your opinion on this, I'm not going to change my mind so I'd rather not discuss it further unless I bring it up" and basically ignore anything else they say. I highly doubt that you're a bad mum, it's ok for people to offer advice but they don't get to force opinions on you and tell you you're doing a bad job because you're young. That's your baby, you've got this. Accept help when offered if you need it, listen to other people's ideas, but ultimately you will learn everything you need to learn on your own, you are the expert in your baby. No-one knows them like you do.