Don’t be this friend
I need to vent! I made lunch plans with a childless (important I think) friend, drove 35 min away with a toddler only for them to cancel last min. No worries I adjusted and had fun with my toddler. I get home from the day and the same friend asked if they could come by my house to say hi instead. They came that evening, I had only about two hours notice. Two hours where I took care of my kid, made dinner, ate dinner, finished laundry from that morning, cleaned up toddlers toys and vacuumed. I tried my best last minute to get the house “presentable”. We are not dirty people, but I also wasn’t prepared to host visitors so our house was very “lived in”. Including the dishes from the last 3-4 MEALS in my sink. We hadn’t emptied the dishwasher yet, but all the dishes in the sink were rinsed and ready to be loaded. You know how it is sometimes, in order to stay on top of everything, sometimes one chore sits on the back burner. We didn’t do the dishes last night, and I hadn’t gotten to them yet today.
Point is, it wasn’t dirty, but maybe maybe messy with the sink of stacked dishes.
I wasn’t feeding them a meal, they were “just popping by”
This person lives alone, no pets, no significant other, no kids. Super strict routine, and a large need for control in their own life.
Their apartment always looks like a staged home to me. Wonderful for them, genuinely so happy for them that they can do that.
I am pregnant, have a three year old, and a husband who works 15 hour days. We manage our best and I think we’re doing pretty dang good for our situation.
This friend of mine was kind during their visit. But when I asked what they did that day they listed their activities they did, but then said “I did my dishes. That was fun. Doing dishes is fun” and then darted their eyes to my sink of dishes and started laughing.
I chuckled and didn’t say anything further. I was happy to see my friend and knew I was probably being too emotional.
But I’m sorry, just don’t be this person. It’s not hard.
I spent over an hour on the road with my toddler that morning to see them, they canceled, then asked with only 2 hours heads up to come to my home so they could see me. But then you outwardly joke about the state of my home?
Maybe I’m being too sensitive. Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones.
But it made me feel terrible and embarrassed just because I fell behind on a chore in my own home.
I would never make a joke like that in someone’s home. If I come to your house, I don’t care what it looks like. I’m not there to judge, I’m there to see my friend.
Inviting yourself to someone’s home after standing them up earlier in the day, to then “jokingly” judging the cleanliness of their home, feels like rude behavior.
But again maybe I’m just too pregnant for this.
Vent over.
If I’m in the wrong please dont hesitate to tell me, but be nice please
Staying close with working (supportive) husband/partner?
So, I stay at home all day with my 14mo kiddo. It's not too bad (he's very independent) but my husband comes home only a couple hours before bedtime after working all day.
My husband is very supportive and does everything he can when he's home (takes care of bedtime every night and takes a lot of the weight on weekends, and I know if he could be would do more, so that's not the issue).
My question is I am feeling very lonely, even when he's home and I feel like we are kind of distant. When I tried to tell him, he didn't understand (so I assume he isn't feeling the same).
Anybody have experience with this feeling of separation? Any advice would be appreciated ♥
Anyone else frustrated at their partner?
Is anyone else getting agitated by their other half's unawareness of being a parent? Don't get me wrong, he's a great dad to our 4 month old, but I don't think he realises how much I do compared to him. Admittedly, he goes to work (9 to 5 three days a week and 9 to 7 twice a week). I do the cooking, cleaning and ironing; his only chores are clothes washing (which I sometimes do anyway) and bdoing the dishes after dinner (after I've cooked and cleaned most of them!) I feel like I do everything for the baby. I'm exclusively breast feeding, so I know he can't help with that. But he probably changes 1 or 2 nappies a day. And he thinks playing with the baby for 30mins whilst I make dinner or get a bath going, is helping me?! He goes to the gym every morning before work, so doesn't help at all with the morning routine. He doesn't help when it comes to going out for whatever reason- like he's almost oblivious to what I've done in terms of packing the bag, sorting outfits out for the next morning, making sure nappies/wipes etc are topped up. I dont think he even knows how to steralise! And when he does "help out", he'll do half a job. For example, if he does the bath, he'll leave the bath toys and bath seat in the tub. Or if he changes the baby before bed, he'll leave the nappy sack & old dummy on the side.
I've tried speaking to him about it, and his response is, "well I do more than most dads!" and "I could go out every Friday like XYZ and get drunk, but I don't."
Don't get me wrong, he puts our baby first and will play with him when he's home, but I just feel very frustrated at the situation! Is anyone else feeling the same??
*rant over* 😅