Useless partner.. what do I do at this point!🫩
So in my whole pregnancy my partner wasn’t supportive, useless and basically neglected me. It’s got WORSE post partum.. how is this possible?? He helped the first week or so but ever since He hasn’t looked after me at all, left me to do everything as per like all the house work, nappy changes bottles I have to wake him up to help and then he falls back to sleep snd ignores me. When he does do something it takes hours for one little task,
all he tells me is how tired he is
I had stitches down there so I can’t lift anything for 6 weeks either, the house is becoming messy because he won’t help run the hoover over aswell or move heavy things etc Everything’s “I’ll do it in a minute “ I’m being called everything under the sun when I call him out on his behavior and then he just constantly walks out because he can’t handle it.. even in general he’s in the toliet for over half an hour or he’s outside vaping. I can’t back being with an immature guy anymore.. I’ve spoken to him a million times nothing changes, I also have all the financial responsibility as he has no money atm cos he was off work on paternity, I’m so sick of arguing I have tried to end the relationship every single day and it’s like he won’t let me!! I feel like a single mum
What do I do! Thoughts?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Not an easy choice, but it sounds like you’re having to be mother to him and baby. You have to do what you can to protect you and baby. For me, I’d leave - he sounds like a man child who likes the idea of having a partner and not the reality of partnership. But, you have to weigh up how you would feel on your own and if that’s the right choice for you and baby. Do you have family nearby who can support? X
Where is this man child’s mother, can she not be made aware? My partner has been really great but my MIL still checks in to make sure he isn’t slacking 😂
Leave him! There’s nothing worse than being a single mum in a relationship. Write a list pros and cons. Note, you have not mentioned anything positive about him. You and your baby deserve better
I’m so sorry! If it were me, I’d stop doing everything that wasn’t related to your own care/hygiene and the baby’s. Housework, his washing, cooking etc, I’m totally forget. COOK, for example, do great freshly frozen meals and lots of deals. Otherwise focus on simple protein rich meals for yourself. If he asks, have calm convo as to how you tackle the rest together. He won’t change until you force it, it seems. Right now, he’s getting what he needs from you but it’s completely draining you. Xx
If a friend was telling you this, what would your advice be to them? X
You handle stress really really well because I’m telling you doing everything by yourself with a baby can potentially become a safety issue, especially if you aren’t getting sleep. That sleep debt WILL PILE ON.
Your body can only regulate so much, find a family/friend to come help you with the baby. I hope this will build enough strength for you to let your partner know he is ill-fit as a father, partner, and as a man. He has responsibilities and he is failing to meet them.
No offense but I find women with similar stories to lack assertiveness and discernment. You are in the right not in the wrong, so you set the record straight and give him an ultimatum. He needs to at least keep the house clean and hold the baby periods of the day/night so you can sleep.
Think of yourself as a protester fighting for your right to rest and have a clean home! Demand justice!
Download the Peanut App
