Have no grace & kindness left
So my sons father..
We moved for years ago away 4 years ago, he gets majority of half terms and most of summer. If one gets Christmas the other gets birthday..
every year we seem to be in court cause it doesn’t suit him. First 3 years he didn’t travel to get his son at all. Now he only comes a hour down the road. Cause he was made to.
I try every way possible to make it as good for my boy as possible and I give him every grace and understanding possible.
But I have officially after nearly 12 years run out of graces, kindness and understanding.
You pay nothing for his schooling, nothing towards anything to do with his life, you begrudge paying to travel to pick him up a hour down the road. When we travel 3/4 hours.
I already changed this contact to suit you a day earlier when we are not meant to travel with my step kids. Yet we have. To suit you.
Today I’m picking my boy up, you’re sending someone else to bring him back like you have done since November. Cause god forbid you do it. And then you have the absolute cheek to ask for more, more and more to suit you going forward.
After once again for the 4th time lying to court and mediation that you’d be driving by the end of last year.
You lie, throw fits, and send others when you don’t get your way. When you do I still get crap and you still ask for more.
So what benefit does anyone but you get! Cause what you want isn’t in any interest of our son, some of it hinders our son.
So no I’m done, I’m no longer killing my sen, mentally, emotionally, financially to please you, there is a reason we are not together anymore, all of that was too much when we were together. It was unhealthy for our boy, and I’m not longer sacrificing our son’s wellbeing to suit your needs either. He’s nearly 12.
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He’s nearly 12. So he’s at an age where he can clearly see his dad’s behaviour. And he can also voice where he wants to be. When I was 12 I made a plan with my parents to go against the court order lol he’s also NEARLY old enough to not rely on court orders. You don’t have long left dealing with his dad 🫶
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Nursery food day 1 - ROCKY ROAD?
I’ve lost my lid today, please tell me I’m well positioned to do so…
My 9 month old started nursery and as part of his lunch he was served pesto and spinach pasta (fine!) which he managed well as I have been doing a combination of BLW and textured puréed food…
Then it said he had rocky road (all).
I queried this whether it was an automatic entry because that was the lunch provided for the day, to be told he had some rocky road whilst being supervised.
He’s 9 months old, has had no refined sugar in his diet in line with NHS and early years guidance, he’s certainly not had marshmallows, chocolate (sugar and caffeine content) and biscuit/whole nuts.
On what fucking planet is this an age appropriate meal?
I’m devastated as I was feeling anxious about handing over the care of my son for a day and half a week as it is but now this has shattered trust.
In addition, the initial response was that I hadn’t told them Noah wasn’t eating anything with refined sugar content at home when I inducted him…
Am I missing something? Should my child be battling choking hazards, consuming refined sugar when he’s only just cut two teeth and consuming caffeine?
No hate to anyone who makes any other decisions but this has really rattled me. Surely it’s not a “standard?’’
Help a mama out
*****UPDATE*****
Nursery have accepted full responsibility - recipe included milk chocolate pieces, broken biscuit, dark chocolate, golden syrup to bind, Rice Krispies, butter.
Wholly inappropriate and directly breaches the settings weaning policies and guidance.
Regardless of whether the sugar will “hurt him” or not, the texture is dangerous for a 9 month old only experienced with soft finger foods and textured purées and so I’m glad I trusted my gut and raised the concern.
Dietary preferences are one thing, foods presenting a choking hazard are another. Both can exist but doesn’t diminish the suitability issue for him. I’m glad they’ve acknowledged that and implemented actions to prevent it happening again.
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Daycare
Has anyone sent their baby to daycare?! If so tell me good stories as it’s almost that time for me to send my baby to child care!
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Am I wrong?
I genuinely want to hear other people’s perspectives because I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I have primary custody of my two children, ages 2 and 3. Their father has visitation every third weekend. Our divorce decree, which he agreed to, states that if he moves outside the designated area, he loses overnight visitation.
Knowing this, he voluntarily chose to move over an hour away to live with a girlfriend and her children. At the time, he’d known her for approximately TWO WEEKS.
Because of that decision, his visitation changed to Saturdays, 9 a.m.–6 p.m., every third weekend. No overnights.
Despite this, I’ve tried accommodating him with additional time, hotels, and Airbnbs. But it’s not working. The children have fun with him, but they come home extremely dysregulated. Hitting, fighting, tantrums, sleep issues, etc. It lasts for DAYS, and I’ve documented a consistent pattern.
I don’t believe he’s intentionally doing anything wrong during visits. I believe the instability and transitions are difficult for two toddlers.
Recently, they got sick after visiting him. Obviously, sickness happens. But it brought up an even bigger frustration. Who handles the appointments, sleepless nights, medications, and everything else? Me and my fiancé. Their dad gets to return to the life he chose while I’m responsible for everything that comes afterward.
I ended up reaching out to his girlfriend. Not my smartest move, I know. But I genuinely couldn’t believe another mother would support a man voluntarily reducing his time with his own children to live with her.
Turns out, she knows and fully supports his decision.
They’ve been together around four months, and she’s already referring to parenting my children as “we,” “us,” and “team,” talking about how much they love the girls despite never having met them. Her responses also sounded completely AI-generated.
Ultimately, they’re both comfortable with him being a weekend parent. He considers himself a present, involved father and doesn’t believe he’s done anything wrong.
When I asked about accountability for voluntarily choosing less time with his children, their response was essentially, “The choice was made. How do we move forward?”
But why am I expected to accommodate a decision that HE made at the expense of his relationship with his children?
I understand some parents have limited visitation due to circumstances outside their control. But this wasn’t one of those situations. He had the opportunity to be more involved and willingly chose less.
And now I’m expected to make his life easier, deal with the emotional aftermath of his visits, and support their plans to eventually become a blended family.
Am I wrong for thinking that being a good dad requires more than exercising the bare minimum visitation? Because I genuinely believe my children deserve better than a father who’s content seeing them twice a month when he could have chosen differently.
I really want unbiased perspectives. Am I expecting too much, or has the bar for being a present parent gotten this low?
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Am I wrong?
My husband the past 2 days has come home from work after being gone all day and as soon as he comes in the door says he’s going upstairs to work on his leg that has been tight and aching. And left me to get the kids dinner, and do their whole bed time routine alone because it’s taken that long for him to do his stuff. When I had a problem with it he acted like I’m the bad guy because “he’s been gone all day and not had a minute to himself”. Am I wrong for being upset???
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Toddler sucking thumb
Pleaseeee be honest because I’ve heard so many contradictions, does sucking thumb mess up toddlers teeth in future? If yes, how do I stop him doing it!?
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First birthday
Has anyone started thinking about what they’re doing for their little ones first birthday? We were going to do a party but because I’ll have only just gone back to work we just can’t really afford it. Obviously we want to do something special. We live in Staffordshire if anyone has any ideas!
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